Good morning all,
Hope everyone made it through the night relatively unscathed. I would like you guys to know how much respect I have for all of you fighting this everyday. How scary drug addiction is no mater what the drug. I have learned lots of good things and received excellent advice from all the posts in here. And I have come to realize that it seems getting off is easy its the staying off thats the killer. How strong a person has to be to fight the demons that haunt the mind day in and day out. I know now that the physical symptoms are nothing compared to the mental toll I see. Sleep is what kills the most. A mind that doesn't sleep is to weak to fight the urge to get high. All I have heard the husband obsess over in the past 2 days is sleep. Now I understand why everyone has a problem sleeping. Its the stupid drug trying to get the last word in. Then when you do start to get control you have to go out into the world knowing that it is everywhere. For the hubby he will have to stare it right in the face everytime he goes to work. We literally found out that even taking a walk through our own nice middle class neighborhood is dangerous. Our neighbor pill head, guy around the corner pill head, and a guy a couple streets up dead from guess what PILLS. So for now all we can do is keep fighting and hope the light at the tunnel shows up soon.
Please note that these are just my observations based on what I see at my house and by reading the posts. My sleep deprived interpretation of some scary s***.
Stay Strong..........
Tina
tina,
As you have probably read ... I am still very hesitant to post here again... but I have read so many of your and your husbands post and have wanted to post so badly and until now I have not .. I have taken time to reflect and I see that on some levels that has been a little selfish as well as self defeating for me as well ...
Having said that .. Let me say this about the scary sh** .. the subject of your post.. in the program of NA/AA they tell you this is why a geographic change will not work.. heck if you were to take me and drop with a parachute into the middle of a metro or rural place .. within one week or less I would be able to tell you where to score and who from.. so yes it is everywhere... drugs are so prolific in our lifes today the average person just doesnt realize until it hits home in a real way with addict on there door step..
As for fighting the battle daily... it does get easier but, until then, that is why many of us 'old timers' strongly suggest NA/AA and/or out patient programs (if in-patient rehab is not an option) because they give you the tools and skills to help deal with the craving and urges that pop up.... also in the rooms of the program you are incouraged to make contact with those that have been in those heavy shoes and you can call them day or night just to vent, cry, moan or ask questions... get encouragement... this can come in handy when situation come up that are hard to deal with...
I have been clean awhile and I still carry my NA numbers with me.. written down and programed in my cell phone ...I also added some numbers from new friends from this board,,, you just can never have too many tools...
I understand that your husband didnt like his first meeting ... and bob advised that maybe he should try another one or just go again.. I would strongly agree with that ... It may be worth looking at what he didnt like about them and seeing if it was just not likeing the fact that he just didnt like admitting to others (not counting you) that he was an addict... (I hated that .. I am a control freak and that was like saying I had no control and I didnt so.. that was sooo hard... I left there the first time sooo mad I never wanted to go back.. but I was in rehab and they made me.. thank God.. it was the best thing that could have happened to me)
Sorry this is a novel but one more thing... you really should look into alanon... I was a child of an alcoholic and alanon really helps you and that will alow you to better help and support him not enable him.... that is not meant to be bad.. you are only doing what comes natural but not what is the best for him.... or you... this will all become clearer as you both walk down the road or recovery....
I can promise you one thing... I does get better and it is the most precious gift you can give to each other is the love and support during this journey... just wait for the miricles...
God Bless you both....
Teresa
As you have probably read ... I am still very hesitant to post here again... but I have read so many of your and your husbands post and have wanted to post so badly and until now I have not .. I have taken time to reflect and I see that on some levels that has been a little selfish as well as self defeating for me as well ...
Having said that .. Let me say this about the scary sh** .. the subject of your post.. in the program of NA/AA they tell you this is why a geographic change will not work.. heck if you were to take me and drop with a parachute into the middle of a metro or rural place .. within one week or less I would be able to tell you where to score and who from.. so yes it is everywhere... drugs are so prolific in our lifes today the average person just doesnt realize until it hits home in a real way with addict on there door step..
As for fighting the battle daily... it does get easier but, until then, that is why many of us 'old timers' strongly suggest NA/AA and/or out patient programs (if in-patient rehab is not an option) because they give you the tools and skills to help deal with the craving and urges that pop up.... also in the rooms of the program you are incouraged to make contact with those that have been in those heavy shoes and you can call them day or night just to vent, cry, moan or ask questions... get encouragement... this can come in handy when situation come up that are hard to deal with...
I have been clean awhile and I still carry my NA numbers with me.. written down and programed in my cell phone ...I also added some numbers from new friends from this board,,, you just can never have too many tools...
I understand that your husband didnt like his first meeting ... and bob advised that maybe he should try another one or just go again.. I would strongly agree with that ... It may be worth looking at what he didnt like about them and seeing if it was just not likeing the fact that he just didnt like admitting to others (not counting you) that he was an addict... (I hated that .. I am a control freak and that was like saying I had no control and I didnt so.. that was sooo hard... I left there the first time sooo mad I never wanted to go back.. but I was in rehab and they made me.. thank God.. it was the best thing that could have happened to me)
Sorry this is a novel but one more thing... you really should look into alanon... I was a child of an alcoholic and alanon really helps you and that will alow you to better help and support him not enable him.... that is not meant to be bad.. you are only doing what comes natural but not what is the best for him.... or you... this will all become clearer as you both walk down the road or recovery....
I can promise you one thing... I does get better and it is the most precious gift you can give to each other is the love and support during this journey... just wait for the miricles...
God Bless you both....
Teresa
Theresa,
Thank you so much for your beautiful words. I have no idea why you were hesitant to post. Please don't doubt your wisdom or strength. And you are right about what Bob said in fact Bob will be checking about some meetings for the hubby in our area. We hope to hear something soon on that.
Stay Strong......
Tina
Thank you so much for your beautiful words. I have no idea why you were hesitant to post. Please don't doubt your wisdom or strength. And you are right about what Bob said in fact Bob will be checking about some meetings for the hubby in our area. We hope to hear something soon on that.
Stay Strong......
Tina
*smile*
It isn't easy. I think the hardest part for me was that it was justified to some extent. I was taking it for pain. And it was given to me by a "proffessional," we hold drs in high esteem. It wasn't a dirty street drug but it took me out like it was...
You are so great to stand by your husband. The demons will always be there, it just depends on if we feed them or not. If we don't feed them, they get smaller and smaller..
kerry
You are so great to stand by your husband. The demons will always be there, it just depends on if we feed them or not. If we don't feed them, they get smaller and smaller..
kerry
