Hi all
I have been so grateful lately for the life God has given me now that I am sober. I remember reading August and Bob talking about enjoying the moment but in my state I could not relate. I thought I needed to alter my reality to enjoy things and make people around me like me. I have now found out that the drink and drugs were the problem and I could not enjoy life or relationships because of them.
I am learning to appreciate the relatively small things. I was struck this morning by the beauty of a tree with its arms stretched out to heaven in a lovely landscape that was covered in frost with a clear blue sky overhead. Instead off walking past I stood and enjoyed it for what it was and thanked God for it. I once again see the beauty in my wifes face and actions and am happy playing with my boys. I am not as worried about what people must be thinking about me and have learned that if they have a problem with me, as long as my conscience is clear, it becomes there problem and I dont need to tell them why they are wrong. I am enjoying music so much more now when; again, I thought drugs enhanced my enjoyment. I am learning to play guitar with my son and not stressed about getting it perfect but just enjoying the fellowship and the laughter.
I heard someone say recently that they believed in God but struggled with Him doing miracles. Well my life is a miracle the person who struggled with it is a miracle because left in their own state without God they would not have written so much from the heart to care for another. Oh! And lets face it we are talking about the creator of the universe here, so a bit of landscape gardening or prompting a person to care for another and giving that person a warm feeling in return is nothing to Him.
I had forgotten all of this wonder when I picked up a drug several months back. I had been sober for years before but slipped, picked up and I am amazed how quickly I thought only drugs will make things better.
Life is not perfect by any means but I now believe I was becoming ungrateful for what I had so was shown what life can be like. I know I am one of the fortunate ones; I have a family, food and a roof over my head. More than 2.6 billion people - over 40 per cent of the world's population do not have access to basic sanitation, and more than one billion people still do not have access to clean water to drink. Why does God allow that to happen? I dont know but I am grateful that he gave me relative wealth when I absolutely do not deserve it. I am also grateful to realise that I have once again renewed an old friendship with himI am so grateful.
Neon
neon,
great post!!! thanks for sharing. isnt it great to appreciate the simple things in life? to me that is just priceless. i too took that all for granted while i was using.
i too am greatful my god has blessed me as well.
terrianne
great post!!! thanks for sharing. isnt it great to appreciate the simple things in life? to me that is just priceless. i too took that all for granted while i was using.
i too am greatful my god has blessed me as well.
terrianne
Dear Paul,
Wow what a great post!!! My you have come a long way!!!!Keep on keeping on!!
take care and God bless
huggs,
gina :)
Wow what a great post!!! My you have come a long way!!!!Keep on keeping on!!
take care and God bless
huggs,
gina :)
Hey Gina
Thanks, hope all is well with you. enjoy your day
Paul
Thanks, hope all is well with you. enjoy your day
Paul
Neon,
Thanks for the post. How exciting life is for you ;o). Makes us all want a "piece of that" too. Thanks for sharing. Take care, Best Wishes
Thanks for the post. How exciting life is for you ;o). Makes us all want a "piece of that" too. Thanks for sharing. Take care, Best Wishes
Paul, what an AWESOME post..you tell it like it is..
Paul,
Words could never express how your post has touched my heart. Thank you for sharing it. Remember that it is the little things that burn slowly in the beginning and blossom into a wonderous, most unexplainable feeling, that fills the heart.
Much Love,
Guardian Angel
Words could never express how your post has touched my heart. Thank you for sharing it. Remember that it is the little things that burn slowly in the beginning and blossom into a wonderous, most unexplainable feeling, that fills the heart.
Much Love,
Guardian Angel
Neon, I loved your post... It is so true when you are clean, you have different emotions and see life in a totally different view. Glad to hear you are doing so good and enjoying what life has to offer.... Rae
Great post Paul......I will make sure that the hubby reads this one tonight.....he can learn alot from it!
Paul, ditto, ditto, ditto.....
I used to think when people in the rooms were talking about simplicity, my sick little head thought they were settling for being a loser....(Americanism, I s'ppose)
But now I know what they mean....
Glad you have found the peace..
Kerry
I used to think when people in the rooms were talking about simplicity, my sick little head thought they were settling for being a loser....(Americanism, I s'ppose)
But now I know what they mean....
Glad you have found the peace..
Kerry
Neon........That was a great post. I truly enjoyed it. I, too, am discovering joy in such simple, basic things these days. It is such a wonderful feeling to have a happy heart and know that it is real and not drug induced. I have been thanking God daily for helping me in this journey. Thank you, too.
Dear Paul, I consider it a blessing to know you. Your post was beautifully written and so obviously heart felt. I was greatly encouraged by what you said and I can only imagine what hope you have given to those still struggling. Thank you for sharing that. Love, Kat
Hi Kat, Good To See Ya',
Hope your well tonight.
Paul,
That was a great post. You really have changed, it shows big time.
Talk to ya' soon............Take care....................God bless.......................Bob
Hope your well tonight.
Paul,
That was a great post. You really have changed, it shows big time.
Talk to ya' soon............Take care....................God bless.......................Bob
Paul, you said:
"I thought I needed to alter my reality to enjoy things and make people around me like me. I have now found out that the drink and drugs were the problem and I could not enjoy life or relationships because of them."
That is so true for me as well. Although I knew the drink and drugs were a problem, i didn't see them as preventing me from enjoying life or relationships. In fact, when in active addiction, I saw them as the one true dependable thing that DID provide enjoyment and make social situations and relationships more tolerable. And although my awakening has been slower and perhaps shallower than yours, I'm beginning to see that when I don't pick up no matter what, and try to do the next right thing to the best of my ability, life's simple pleasures are being revealed again. Maybe that's what they mean by "more will be revealed." Whatever. Your post reminded me that I really need to take note of these changes every day, and appreciate them. My default mental state is still one that wants to retreat to taking pain pills for that quick, dependable, short-term pleasure -- at the expense of all else life has to offer. M.
"I thought I needed to alter my reality to enjoy things and make people around me like me. I have now found out that the drink and drugs were the problem and I could not enjoy life or relationships because of them."
That is so true for me as well. Although I knew the drink and drugs were a problem, i didn't see them as preventing me from enjoying life or relationships. In fact, when in active addiction, I saw them as the one true dependable thing that DID provide enjoyment and make social situations and relationships more tolerable. And although my awakening has been slower and perhaps shallower than yours, I'm beginning to see that when I don't pick up no matter what, and try to do the next right thing to the best of my ability, life's simple pleasures are being revealed again. Maybe that's what they mean by "more will be revealed." Whatever. Your post reminded me that I really need to take note of these changes every day, and appreciate them. My default mental state is still one that wants to retreat to taking pain pills for that quick, dependable, short-term pleasure -- at the expense of all else life has to offer. M.
Dear Neon,
Yup, you got it alright. I know alot of addicts and I still don't think they quite "understand" what being sober is. Life isn't perfect, like you said, but life has it's unbelieveable highs, too. My mother (who actually is a very wise person) told me when I was younger that she honestly thought that the "secret of life" is that every day is a day of YOUR life and that's something you just don't get back. The good and the bad, there all yours and for that you should be grateful. It took this whole drug experience for me to understand what she was talking about, but now I know. As far as I know, I'll only be me in this particular life ONE time and I intend to make the most of it-without getting high. You know something, getting high only lasts for a little while, but when you actually DO something meaningful to better yourself; that feeling lasts forever. And, yes, God some pretty awesome things even if we all don't understand it. But then again, I would like to think that since He is God, I wouldn't be able to understand it, you know? Good luck and God bless.
Rachel REB
Yup, you got it alright. I know alot of addicts and I still don't think they quite "understand" what being sober is. Life isn't perfect, like you said, but life has it's unbelieveable highs, too. My mother (who actually is a very wise person) told me when I was younger that she honestly thought that the "secret of life" is that every day is a day of YOUR life and that's something you just don't get back. The good and the bad, there all yours and for that you should be grateful. It took this whole drug experience for me to understand what she was talking about, but now I know. As far as I know, I'll only be me in this particular life ONE time and I intend to make the most of it-without getting high. You know something, getting high only lasts for a little while, but when you actually DO something meaningful to better yourself; that feeling lasts forever. And, yes, God some pretty awesome things even if we all don't understand it. But then again, I would like to think that since He is God, I wouldn't be able to understand it, you know? Good luck and God bless.
Rachel REB
Paul my dear friend ive watched from a distance how you have grown into one hell of a guy instead of being the guy in the hell you know what i think about you and how you inspire many ((((((((hugs))))))))) luv ya mate jackie xxxxxxxx
Thanks everyone for your kind words and encouragement......after a rocky start on these boards (to say the least) I have come to love a lot of the people on here. With a clear head I now see things so differently, I have learned so much from you guys. Yes Bob, or who ever said it, I finaly took the cotton wool out of my ears and put it in my mouth long enough for the peeny to drop.I still have a long way to go but the future is bright.
Jackie......Hey matey good to hear from you.....you have posted on a few of the threads I am on and I never get to reply. Soory for that us English guys must stick together lol
Paul
Jackie......Hey matey good to hear from you.....you have posted on a few of the threads I am on and I never get to reply. Soory for that us English guys must stick together lol
Paul
Neon- Where are you in England? I've been there several times..
i liked your post man it got me thinking
Thanks Paul. It's so true that for years it was booze that could make me well, and then recently pills would do the trick. So uncomfortable in my own skin, not fully grasping that it simply is a matter of acceptance of who I am. And that's okay. Jim
