watching the clock
standing in line at the pharmacy (looking like I have a terrible back pain)
worrying about my doctor or one of his nurses seeing me out and about standing upright
making plans to travel to see relatives I don't care to see because I know they have pills...or driving 4 hours to see aunt Blanche because she has good cough syryp
going to open houses just to look into their medicine cabinets
looking into my daughter's eyes and not feeling sorry for her for having me as a mom
transferring pills from their original bottles into vitamin bottles
crying if one of my last pills falls into the seat of my car
tearing through the seat of my car 2 hours later
feeling falsely enthusiastic and wondering if I really do give a damn about what I seem to be so excited about
not having the chills like i do right now
not being able to leave town for more than 3 days
so many more.......
Hi Cici...
You're doing great and yes, I remember feeling the freedom from the things you listed and there is so, so much more today....each day gets better the longer I'm in recovery...
Be gentle with yourself, take it easy and just focus on today....Keep writing and posting...Soon, you are going to turn a corner and realize you have so much more being clean than when using....
Thinking about you today....you're in my prayers...
((((hugs))))
Stacey
You're doing great and yes, I remember feeling the freedom from the things you listed and there is so, so much more today....each day gets better the longer I'm in recovery...
Be gentle with yourself, take it easy and just focus on today....Keep writing and posting...Soon, you are going to turn a corner and realize you have so much more being clean than when using....
Thinking about you today....you're in my prayers...
((((hugs))))
Stacey
