Do You Think To Much?
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"
Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.
I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about.
I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"
"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.
I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with a PBS station on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors... they didn't open. The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.
As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.
Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.
I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
*Author Unknown
Thats a shame that the author is unknown i would of loved to chat to her or him what a great post jaxxx
Too funny lol Thanks sdr.I really needed to laugh this morning! a.
a re-post...from a friend :))
myths of AA a parody
hi everybody,
i'm afta (which stands for "any freakin' thing anonymous"),
and i'm an alcoholic/addict, grateful member of Alanon,
an ACOA, SLAA, CODA, and across-addicted, over eating,
gambler with issues.
and I'm a VICTIM!!!
when i first came into these halls, some
crusty old farts told me to take the cotton out of my
ears and put it in my mouth. they also told me to put
the plug in the jug. after all, they spilled more
beer than i ever drank. i was told not to get into any
relationships in the first year, because two sickies
don't make a wellie.
i had to get a sponsor and call her everyday. so I called her
every day to say, "i broke a fingernail, got a flat tire, bounced a
check, my dog farted, no one said hi to me today, it's raining, my
inner/outer/upper/over child is on a toxic shame spiral, etc."
and she would always say back to me, "don't think, don't drink."
"meeting makers make it." "get to a meeting, even if your a** falls off.
and if it does fall off, put it in a paper bag and carry it to a meeting."
"can i borrow your car?" "can you loan me some cash? that
newcomer i've been sleeping with took my wallet to buy
some crack."
they told me no major decisions in my first year, and I decided
not to pay the IRS in 1998...BUT...I didn't find it necessary to have
a drink before they put me in jail.
well since then, i've been around these here tables a few 24
hours, and my disease is still in the parking lot doing
push-ups; it wants me dead. yeah, i'm a sick puppy, dude.
i came home today after a meeting (at which I told
everybody how it REALLY works), yelled at my family and
kicked the dog, BUT i didn't have a drink or use today. you
see, i'm coming up on an AA anniversary, so I'm
gettin' kinda squirrely. that stinkin' thinkin' and those
old tapes playing. the committee is talking in my
head, and i don't know which voice is right.
here's how I keep it green:
i don't read the Big Book (its boring, outdated, there's no
chapter to the husbands, its chauvinist, too many pages,
and i know it all anyway. i use it as a coaster.
i might re-write it) ;)
my higher power, whom i choose to call Pee Wee Herman,
is an old doll I keep in my closet, next to my pile of porno films.
i do step one every morning when I hit my knees, because I'M
POWERLESS, maaaan!!
i go to five meetings a day and make all the coffee and clean the ashtrays.
i steal money from the basket to buy crack.
i always bring up "acceptance" and "gratitude" as topics.
i read the twelve and twelve every day.
i ignore my family. they aren't even grateful that i'm
even sober, so the hell with them!
i hit on all the newcomer men, and stalk them if they don't do
things MY way.
i do five 4th steps a year; six on leap year.
as a result of working MY program, i will be recovered the day I die.
so keep comin' back! it works if ya work it, so work it 'cause you're
worth it!
don't forget to not take yourself sooooooo seriously!
hugs -
sammy
myths of AA a parody
hi everybody,
i'm afta (which stands for "any freakin' thing anonymous"),
and i'm an alcoholic/addict, grateful member of Alanon,
an ACOA, SLAA, CODA, and across-addicted, over eating,
gambler with issues.
and I'm a VICTIM!!!
when i first came into these halls, some
crusty old farts told me to take the cotton out of my
ears and put it in my mouth. they also told me to put
the plug in the jug. after all, they spilled more
beer than i ever drank. i was told not to get into any
relationships in the first year, because two sickies
don't make a wellie.
i had to get a sponsor and call her everyday. so I called her
every day to say, "i broke a fingernail, got a flat tire, bounced a
check, my dog farted, no one said hi to me today, it's raining, my
inner/outer/upper/over child is on a toxic shame spiral, etc."
and she would always say back to me, "don't think, don't drink."
"meeting makers make it." "get to a meeting, even if your a** falls off.
and if it does fall off, put it in a paper bag and carry it to a meeting."
"can i borrow your car?" "can you loan me some cash? that
newcomer i've been sleeping with took my wallet to buy
some crack."
they told me no major decisions in my first year, and I decided
not to pay the IRS in 1998...BUT...I didn't find it necessary to have
a drink before they put me in jail.
well since then, i've been around these here tables a few 24
hours, and my disease is still in the parking lot doing
push-ups; it wants me dead. yeah, i'm a sick puppy, dude.
i came home today after a meeting (at which I told
everybody how it REALLY works), yelled at my family and
kicked the dog, BUT i didn't have a drink or use today. you
see, i'm coming up on an AA anniversary, so I'm
gettin' kinda squirrely. that stinkin' thinkin' and those
old tapes playing. the committee is talking in my
head, and i don't know which voice is right.
here's how I keep it green:
i don't read the Big Book (its boring, outdated, there's no
chapter to the husbands, its chauvinist, too many pages,
and i know it all anyway. i use it as a coaster.
i might re-write it) ;)
my higher power, whom i choose to call Pee Wee Herman,
is an old doll I keep in my closet, next to my pile of porno films.
i do step one every morning when I hit my knees, because I'M
POWERLESS, maaaan!!
i go to five meetings a day and make all the coffee and clean the ashtrays.
i steal money from the basket to buy crack.
i always bring up "acceptance" and "gratitude" as topics.
i read the twelve and twelve every day.
i ignore my family. they aren't even grateful that i'm
even sober, so the hell with them!
i hit on all the newcomer men, and stalk them if they don't do
things MY way.
i do five 4th steps a year; six on leap year.
as a result of working MY program, i will be recovered the day I die.
so keep comin' back! it works if ya work it, so work it 'cause you're
worth it!
don't forget to not take yourself sooooooo seriously!
hugs -
sammy
lol sammy learning should be fun not dictorial in my book great thread jaxxx
roflol - yes jackie - learning should be fun!
in the past 24 hours, i learned how to make one heck of a key lime pie from this board (thanks tim - wink, wink - sounds yummy!) - i know what we are having for dessert this christmas. did ya realize that "desserts" spelled backward is "stressed?"
hugs all around -
sammy
in the past 24 hours, i learned how to make one heck of a key lime pie from this board (thanks tim - wink, wink - sounds yummy!) - i know what we are having for dessert this christmas. did ya realize that "desserts" spelled backward is "stressed?"
hugs all around -
sammy
lmao jaxx
so tell us sammy, when was your last drink?
pam
hiya pammie - nice to see you here!
last drink of alcohol i consumed was at communion service this morning at 8.
hugs to you, my frined -
sammy
last drink of alcohol i consumed was at communion service this morning at 8.
hugs to you, my frined -
sammy
Are you for real? We do communion once a year and its grape juice. I didnt think they still used wine in communion. What religion. If you say Catholic I have nothing to worry about, Im recovering.
LMAO,
Ben
LMAO,
Ben
Sammy, that seemed like a dig, and you bit.
This place is a bit strange; I never know who is fighting with who and which team everyone is on, but since I kinda have you on a pedestal in my head, I wanna make sure you are good.
You are good, aren't you?
Kerry
This place is a bit strange; I never know who is fighting with who and which team everyone is on, but since I kinda have you on a pedestal in my head, I wanna make sure you are good.
You are good, aren't you?
Kerry
Hiya kerry you asked sammy if she was good well my imput on this topic is this everyone has the abilty to be as good as they want to be in general most are brought up with good values why not do like i do hun trust your inner self your gut feeling you wont go wrong, ignore confrontation its not good for recovery, and most impotatanly dont stress over what you have no control over.
having said that be astute be strong and enjoy life. much respect jaxxxxxxxxx
having said that be astute be strong and enjoy life. much respect jaxxxxxxxxx
