It can be lonely sometimes when one is getting clean....quality of friendship is the key. I combat my loneliness by coming here to this board. I imagine I will meet strangers that I click with at every type of f2f meeting I attend. Strangers that perhaps will connect with me on a much more personal level because they sit in rooms and they get honest and that's real and in this world that is rare (or perhaps it's my addict in me that is so sceptical and guarded) . I am patient with my self. Trust myself first before I trust others. I am choosing my conversations wisely. Being sober means having my intuition back and listening to it. I'm not going to give out advice here but perhaps someone can/will relate to what I wrote???
My meds had a question mark for me..so I....did some research (anti-psychotic) found out they are prescribed to schizophrenics....my Doctor didn't give me any labels. I don't care. I feel better and nobody else needs to know my prescription. That's a boundary for me.
I use the acronym H.A.L.T.......I ask myself if I'm hungry, angry, lonely or tired when I'm triggered. I got that from a fellow recovering meth addict who attends NA as well as my womens' group. It's really saves my sanity.
My group at the women's shelter consists of women who are in way worse situations than me. Some of them have had the courts take away their kids. Lots of pain, guilt, shame and husbands/boyfriends who physically abuse along with their drinking and drugging. Some women turned to drugs to cope. Our topic on thursday night was about how abuse effects children. Everyone in that room had not so happy childhoods. Talked about ways kids cope at every age and stage. It was a sad night. I reminded myself that I am moving forward. I worry the most about my oldest son. He drinks alot....or at least i think he does.
I stay away from movies depicting any type of any type of abuse lately. (That doesn't leave much to choose from.) Hint hint, help, suggestions !!!
Going back to my home town next weekend. Lots of using memories there. I trust I'll be ok....I guess...need to prepare mentally...and...looking forward to seeing my one and only niece. She is two and she likes me regardless of my past. :-)
Love and light,
Diana
It sounds like you are making some positive steps in your recovery Diana...I am so happy for you...keep up the good fight!
God Bless You!
God Bless You!
Thank you Janet. I finally love myself enough to ask for help.....:-)
I like the H.A.L.T. acronym. I'll pass it on.
Goodluck with going home.
Sometimes i feel lonely in my sobriety especially when friends are going out to get on it. I have found the best way to deal with it is to reach out to some of the people i have met at groups. They are in similar situations and understanding where i am at the moment in my head. So i try to go out for a juice or a coffee after meetings to get to know people and we swap numbers. It does feel a little strange as i used to get to know people over a few drinks or a few bongs. It's all new an im learning how to communicate and make friends without being out of it. I am being the real me the person i was meant to be. People can take it or leave it. But i have found i have made some really good connections in the past 6-7 weeks.
Goodluck. Thinking of you.
Goodluck with going home.
Sometimes i feel lonely in my sobriety especially when friends are going out to get on it. I have found the best way to deal with it is to reach out to some of the people i have met at groups. They are in similar situations and understanding where i am at the moment in my head. So i try to go out for a juice or a coffee after meetings to get to know people and we swap numbers. It does feel a little strange as i used to get to know people over a few drinks or a few bongs. It's all new an im learning how to communicate and make friends without being out of it. I am being the real me the person i was meant to be. People can take it or leave it. But i have found i have made some really good connections in the past 6-7 weeks.
Goodluck. Thinking of you.
Shark girl, I have not been so bold as you to exchange numbers. Quite honestly.....I have trust issues.....and some of these women don't go regularily enough to establish a bond.....yet.....
Good for you ! I'd admire that.
Good for you ! I'd admire that.
send me some of your rain. i planted lots of flowers yesterday and they could us it. felt good to get out of the house and do some thing for a change. bubba j and i bought a 10 foot profoil kite on ebay yesterday. cant wait for it to get here. i am off thursday and friday, maybe it will come by then. as always good to hear from you. your positive attitude rubs off on me and i need all of that i can get. have been feeling kind of blah lately. not really sure why. but it sounds like you are back on track and doing well. have a good day.
WW
Haven't been over here for awhile and this post caught my eye. It's been raining and grey for days now, we get our usual tease of some of that strange bright warm stuff that comes from the sky once or twice in spring before the long wait for summer, ugh... LOL
Your comments about trusting yourself before being able to trust others hits close to home for me. I'm learning my trust issues go way beyond my son stealing from us and lying to us. I had them way before addiction came into my life.
I think it was Sharkgirl that spoke of needing to make new sober friends. That takes a ton of trust. I haven't had to make new friends in decades. Don't get me wrong, I have made new friends along the way, but I haven't had to, so it was on my time line. Growing up my dad was in the Army, "Vietnam era", and we moved a lot, so I had to make new friends every time we moved. I didn't have my first real friend until 8th grade when we stopped moving. She's my best friend today. She wasn't always my best friend, we had a couple of falling outs in the early years, afterall, we're girls and that was high school~smile~but for the last 22 we have been best friends. I have a pretty out going personality, a necessary survival skill I acquired growing up, and meet new people quite easily. I know it's not easy for a lot of people. My hats off to you sharkgirl, sounds like you know what it takes. And the baby kangaroos!! How cool was that!?
WW, it sounds like you are enjoying your group. I'm glad. Face to Face stuff is so important. Pushing through the fear gets us a little closer to trust.
Can't remember the last time I felt giddy lol! But I know for a fact it wasn't about digging in dirt!~hah~
Thanks for giving me more to think about.
Take care,
Kerrbear
Haven't been over here for awhile and this post caught my eye. It's been raining and grey for days now, we get our usual tease of some of that strange bright warm stuff that comes from the sky once or twice in spring before the long wait for summer, ugh... LOL
Your comments about trusting yourself before being able to trust others hits close to home for me. I'm learning my trust issues go way beyond my son stealing from us and lying to us. I had them way before addiction came into my life.
I think it was Sharkgirl that spoke of needing to make new sober friends. That takes a ton of trust. I haven't had to make new friends in decades. Don't get me wrong, I have made new friends along the way, but I haven't had to, so it was on my time line. Growing up my dad was in the Army, "Vietnam era", and we moved a lot, so I had to make new friends every time we moved. I didn't have my first real friend until 8th grade when we stopped moving. She's my best friend today. She wasn't always my best friend, we had a couple of falling outs in the early years, afterall, we're girls and that was high school~smile~but for the last 22 we have been best friends. I have a pretty out going personality, a necessary survival skill I acquired growing up, and meet new people quite easily. I know it's not easy for a lot of people. My hats off to you sharkgirl, sounds like you know what it takes. And the baby kangaroos!! How cool was that!?
WW, it sounds like you are enjoying your group. I'm glad. Face to Face stuff is so important. Pushing through the fear gets us a little closer to trust.
Can't remember the last time I felt giddy lol! But I know for a fact it wasn't about digging in dirt!~hah~
Thanks for giving me more to think about.
Take care,
Kerrbear
Cajun lady,
Ten foot kite! Holy strawberries batman.....that sounds great !!! <smile>
Turns out I have to replant my irises as the tubers need to be exposed to the sun a little more.....sigh....live and learn.
And KerrBear....hi...I was thinking on the drive home from visiting my mom, brother and step mom and dad.....three different houses..... that trust thing.....how I am so very careful to not give myself away too much to them....like not talking about my "recovery" group specifically for example....I just say a "group I visit with".....because I'm afraid of what ???? Makes me think of lady bugs.....you know, the one you may come across every spring....the little vulnerable flying insect.... on her back, and her legs kicking around, underbelly exposed.....she
almost always needs a little help to get flipped right side up....something bigger than her....like a human to come along and help out......so here's me needing something bigger to come along and help out......like God or something.
Do you think lady bugs pray they don't get squished ?
It's way safer to just ask my spirit guides to give me only what I can handle....then the next thing I know I'm dreaming and I'm being visited by family who have passed away....I get so excited about that. It's nice to be passionate about something again. I pass a message on to my Aunt this weekend....about her son who took his own life 3 years ago next month....and she shares that she senses he is with her sometimes....and I KNOW for sure he is....because he showed me in a dream....
I really don't know where I'm to go with all this, so I'm just trusting myself to move forward. If there is to be any movement...it must be forward....
so when a a first time group member approaches me and says, "You are very helpful, thank you." I can smile and know that it really does start with just trusting myself and with every step I take out side my door, the adventure of living my life begins.
Ten foot kite! Holy strawberries batman.....that sounds great !!! <smile>
Turns out I have to replant my irises as the tubers need to be exposed to the sun a little more.....sigh....live and learn.
And KerrBear....hi...I was thinking on the drive home from visiting my mom, brother and step mom and dad.....three different houses..... that trust thing.....how I am so very careful to not give myself away too much to them....like not talking about my "recovery" group specifically for example....I just say a "group I visit with".....because I'm afraid of what ???? Makes me think of lady bugs.....you know, the one you may come across every spring....the little vulnerable flying insect.... on her back, and her legs kicking around, underbelly exposed.....she
almost always needs a little help to get flipped right side up....something bigger than her....like a human to come along and help out......so here's me needing something bigger to come along and help out......like God or something.
Do you think lady bugs pray they don't get squished ?
It's way safer to just ask my spirit guides to give me only what I can handle....then the next thing I know I'm dreaming and I'm being visited by family who have passed away....I get so excited about that. It's nice to be passionate about something again. I pass a message on to my Aunt this weekend....about her son who took his own life 3 years ago next month....and she shares that she senses he is with her sometimes....and I KNOW for sure he is....because he showed me in a dream....
I really don't know where I'm to go with all this, so I'm just trusting myself to move forward. If there is to be any movement...it must be forward....
so when a a first time group member approaches me and says, "You are very helpful, thank you." I can smile and know that it really does start with just trusting myself and with every step I take out side my door, the adventure of living my life begins.
"I can smile and know that it really does start with just trusting myself and with every step I take out side my door, the adventure of living my life begins."
One step at a time~smile~
Love the Ladybug analogy!
One step at a time~smile~
Love the Ladybug analogy!
ww
yes the new kite is a monster. took some time learning to fly it at first, but then it was awesome. such power. bubba j is already getting pretty good with it. doing a few cool tricks and stuff. by saturday we learned there really is such a thing as too much wind. kite took my son for a little ride over the ballfield.
tubers, does that mean the root part? mine have been in the ground about 10 years. do i need to dig them up and let the sun shine on them? they bloomed good last year. i have about a 1000 surprise lillies that desperatly need to be thinned out. there are so thick they wiegh themselves down and are all leaning over. will have to do that some day.
have a great week.
yes the new kite is a monster. took some time learning to fly it at first, but then it was awesome. such power. bubba j is already getting pretty good with it. doing a few cool tricks and stuff. by saturday we learned there really is such a thing as too much wind. kite took my son for a little ride over the ballfield.
tubers, does that mean the root part? mine have been in the ground about 10 years. do i need to dig them up and let the sun shine on them? they bloomed good last year. i have about a 1000 surprise lillies that desperatly need to be thinned out. there are so thick they wiegh themselves down and are all leaning over. will have to do that some day.
have a great week.
CL, if they're growing well, then leave them, mine need to have the sun shine on the root ball, due to the transplanting.
The kiting and your son had me picturing winnie the pooh with his balloons....lol
I was feeling blah too....turns out I'm pretty close to anemic (I'm losing blood due to my illness), Doc put me on palafer iron supplement, I think it's helping and sure explains alot......regarding how tired I've been.
On another medical note, my son and daughter (19 and 15) are both experiencing chrohns' symptoms, too, one had sores all over the inside of his mouth and the other is having the cramping.....this is scaring me....however I'm keeping a calm head and getting plenty of help from the Doctor....I'm also handing out vitamins like crazy around here. Something is telling me my new career will be as a nutritionist. i have become quite bossy about what everyone is eating.
Hope you're having a pleasant day, and the sun is shining......:-)
The kiting and your son had me picturing winnie the pooh with his balloons....lol
I was feeling blah too....turns out I'm pretty close to anemic (I'm losing blood due to my illness), Doc put me on palafer iron supplement, I think it's helping and sure explains alot......regarding how tired I've been.
On another medical note, my son and daughter (19 and 15) are both experiencing chrohns' symptoms, too, one had sores all over the inside of his mouth and the other is having the cramping.....this is scaring me....however I'm keeping a calm head and getting plenty of help from the Doctor....I'm also handing out vitamins like crazy around here. Something is telling me my new career will be as a nutritionist. i have become quite bossy about what everyone is eating.
Hope you're having a pleasant day, and the sun is shining......:-)
