Hey Liz,
First let me say that after having watched you over the past few years, the progress you have made is astonding! I remember back in the old days when you were really going through a rough time, and you just seemed so lost. You have worked so hard and come so far since then, it is a joy to see where you are now.
I am going to tell my methadone story one more time, and for those of you who have heard it a million times, sorry.
Once upon a time I was referred to an Addictologist when my primary care dr. caught me dr. shopping, etc. After much discussion, I agreed to go on methadone in an attempt to get off of the vics. I didn't like it very much, and I was never able to take over 15 mg. a day. I stayed on it for about 2.5 years. When it came down to come off it of, I was still at 5 mg. and I really had no desire to quit but was being forced to.
The withdrawal was H E L L. I was totally unprepared for what I was going through and again, I had no real desire to be clean. I was destined for failure.
On about my 3rd day of detoxing, my MIL got up with no memory. We now know that she had Alzheimer's, but her case presented very strangely and it was like she was fine one day, and had amnesia the next. We had no choice but to move her in with us and I was in charge of taking care of her.
So there I was suddenly with this elderly woman who had no idea who I was or why she was staying with me, and I was in the throes of withdrawal and angry as hell. The only good news was, she had a bottle full of vics which were RXed to her monthly. Needless to say, I felt completely justified in relapsing on her pills since I was, after all, taking care of her. I went back in to full blown addiction and it would be another 2.5 years before I quit the pills again.
So the bottom line is, my methadone detox lasted 3 days. I have gone cold turkey since then off of vics, but it was a walk in the park compared to the methadone.
I suggest you taper as slow as possible before you come off. Get some support in place and make sure you have you mental game set before you throw away your crutch. I understand you are not an AA candidate, but please, try to find some sort of outside support. I suspect if you are already craving on 5 mg., your detox is going to be pretty hard, too.
Hi Carol,
I never knew you were on methadone too. It is hell to come off of. I would never advise anyone to go on this, it's definitely the worst thing I have been trying to get away from. I don't have much time to ride out this 5mg any longer, this was the last script the doctor will prescribe. I have to count them out and see how much my husband needs and what is left for me to taper and get prepared for that plunge. I know when I'm passed this I will be so glad. Thanks for sharing your story Carol and thank you for the compliment.
Anyone thinking of using methadone to get off of other pain pills as you can read Carol's and my story that methadone is far worse to get off of than most other opiates. You may be fooled thinking you're clean because you may take it as prescribed and take low doses of it but this drug is only pacifying you for now, don't be fooled though because when the time comes to get off of it you "will" go through the withdrawals and the urge to use again when you may have thought it was over as I did.I didn't take methadone to get off of pain meds, when I started using it I had no clue about it, I was abusing all kinds of pills and noticed that when I took the methadone I didn't have the urge to get high and didn't need a lot of it as I did other pills. I thought I was doing great because I was able to get off the fentyml, dilaudids, oxy's, etc. For awhile though I was taking 50-80mg of methadone a day with the dilaudids and then I dropped down to 20mg of methadone and stayed at that for around 2 years I believe, still messing around with dilaudids once in awhile. I stopped the dilaudids around a year ago and just kept to the methadone and even considered myself clean but no I'm not clean, I won't consider myself clean until I'm passed this. Just wasn't worth it.
I know of others who used methadone and they too wished they didn't use it because as they put it, getting off methadone is pure hell.
I never knew you were on methadone too. It is hell to come off of. I would never advise anyone to go on this, it's definitely the worst thing I have been trying to get away from. I don't have much time to ride out this 5mg any longer, this was the last script the doctor will prescribe. I have to count them out and see how much my husband needs and what is left for me to taper and get prepared for that plunge. I know when I'm passed this I will be so glad. Thanks for sharing your story Carol and thank you for the compliment.
Anyone thinking of using methadone to get off of other pain pills as you can read Carol's and my story that methadone is far worse to get off of than most other opiates. You may be fooled thinking you're clean because you may take it as prescribed and take low doses of it but this drug is only pacifying you for now, don't be fooled though because when the time comes to get off of it you "will" go through the withdrawals and the urge to use again when you may have thought it was over as I did.I didn't take methadone to get off of pain meds, when I started using it I had no clue about it, I was abusing all kinds of pills and noticed that when I took the methadone I didn't have the urge to get high and didn't need a lot of it as I did other pills. I thought I was doing great because I was able to get off the fentyml, dilaudids, oxy's, etc. For awhile though I was taking 50-80mg of methadone a day with the dilaudids and then I dropped down to 20mg of methadone and stayed at that for around 2 years I believe, still messing around with dilaudids once in awhile. I stopped the dilaudids around a year ago and just kept to the methadone and even considered myself clean but no I'm not clean, I won't consider myself clean until I'm passed this. Just wasn't worth it.
I know of others who used methadone and they too wished they didn't use it because as they put it, getting off methadone is pure hell.
