Hi Jodi;
You can do this. But you need to be 100% committed to recovery. My suggestion is to seek out a recovery network, whether that be NA/AA, friends, family, etc. This forum is great, but IMO there is nothing better than face to face support. How about getting to a professional - a doctor or a counselor - someone who can guide you on your path to getting clean. You don't need to do this alone. I tried so many times thinking "I can do this by myself", but I couldn't. I didn't get clean until I truly surrendered, got honest and sought the help of others.
Do it for yourself Jodi. You're right, we don't need to live a life of misery. Nobody ever said it was easy, but one day at a time it can be done and it is so worth it.
Jim
hi jodi, i'm new on the site. i took vicodin for about 7 yrs. and have been clean for 3 wks. i'm am still withdrawing, but i really want to stop. you must have the desire to get healthy. addictions are tough, but not impossible. here's a message that you need to read over and over during your trials. it may help you with the "why me?"
i ask God for strength that i might achieve,
i was made weak that i might learn to humbly obey
i ask for help that i might do greater things
i was given infirmity that i might do better things
i ask for riches that i might be happy
i was given poverty that i might be wise
i ask for power that i might have the praise of men
i was given weakness that i might feel the need of God
i ask for things that i might enjoy life
i was given life that i might enjoy ALL things
i got nothing that i ask for but everything i HOPED for
almost despite myself my unspoken prayers were answered
i am among all men most richly BLESSED!
I hope it helps. it helped me.
i ask God for strength that i might achieve,
i was made weak that i might learn to humbly obey
i ask for help that i might do greater things
i was given infirmity that i might do better things
i ask for riches that i might be happy
i was given poverty that i might be wise
i ask for power that i might have the praise of men
i was given weakness that i might feel the need of God
i ask for things that i might enjoy life
i was given life that i might enjoy ALL things
i got nothing that i ask for but everything i HOPED for
almost despite myself my unspoken prayers were answered
i am among all men most richly BLESSED!
I hope it helps. it helped me.
Jodi-
Please keep posting and let us know how you are.........
I think of you so often.
Email me anytime Javagirl1976@hotmail.com............If you ever just need or want to talk.
Hugs.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are.........
I think of you so often.
Email me anytime Javagirl1976@hotmail.com............If you ever just need or want to talk.
Hugs.
Still waiting, always will be.
But like Tim said, we've been here before...time to do something different. This board was instrumental in my getting clean but it wasn't the only thing I had to do. I needed face to face. You know when and where those meetings are. Husband be damned, you go. Period.
Hold you chin up honey...be proud that you aren't willing to give up.
Love
Lisa
But like Tim said, we've been here before...time to do something different. This board was instrumental in my getting clean but it wasn't the only thing I had to do. I needed face to face. You know when and where those meetings are. Husband be damned, you go. Period.
Hold you chin up honey...be proud that you aren't willing to give up.
Love
Lisa
Well, I don't really know what to say. Should I feel discouraged, hopeless? I do that quite often already. Like I said earlier, I have to start SOMEWHERE. I guess my best chance is that if I can get just a little bit of abstinence under my belt, then maybe I can get the strength I need to stand up to my husband and start doing for myself for once.
What really pisses me off is that I don't feel I am asking for much from him. I just would like for him to support and encourage me....to be proud of me for bettering myself. What will it take for him to see how bad all of this is? If I die, will that be enough? Will he finally see what is going on?
Can I just vent here for a minute??? Do you want to know what he said to me when I told him that I have to stop the pills after Christmas?
"Oh, I suppose you're going to quit drinking and smoking too?"
WTF is that? Is that such a bad thing? What difference does it make what I quit or don't quit? That's my support circle. That's the man who swore he loved me. That's the man who CLAIMS he would die for me if needed. Yeah right.
What really pisses me off is that I don't feel I am asking for much from him. I just would like for him to support and encourage me....to be proud of me for bettering myself. What will it take for him to see how bad all of this is? If I die, will that be enough? Will he finally see what is going on?
Can I just vent here for a minute??? Do you want to know what he said to me when I told him that I have to stop the pills after Christmas?
"Oh, I suppose you're going to quit drinking and smoking too?"
WTF is that? Is that such a bad thing? What difference does it make what I quit or don't quit? That's my support circle. That's the man who swore he loved me. That's the man who CLAIMS he would die for me if needed. Yeah right.
Because you then take the fun out of his using, drinking and smoking. He might have to start feeling guilty and he doesn't like that.
That's none of your business what he thinks.
You do, what works for you. You've been honest, you've told him you need to quit, now don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that you couldn't do it. He would love that Jodi.
xxoo
That's none of your business what he thinks.
You do, what works for you. You've been honest, you've told him you need to quit, now don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that you couldn't do it. He would love that Jodi.
xxoo
I tell you, he's really done a number on my psyche over the years. It's as much my fault, I've let him. I wondered that to someone some time ago. I said, I wonder if I could ever be the same again. The same as I was before him. Because I have changed so much...the way I think, the way I react to others. And I don't like myself much anymore.
But, that discussion belongs on a different type of board, I guess.
I don't know. I'm pretty discouraged right now.
But, that discussion belongs on a different type of board, I guess.
I don't know. I'm pretty discouraged right now.
Jodi..it belongs here. You're just not alone on this honey, others have dealt with this kind of emotional abuse as well. There are women (and men) who don't know how to stand up for themselves because of the brain washing that has happend over the years. Is he physically abusive? Do you fear for your life? If so, that makes things a little different and it's totally out of my league. I hope others can share about what made them stronger and beat this kind of abusive.
You use to hide. You use so that you don't have to feel. It's ok honey, I get it, but it doesn't have to be that way. It's not going to be a piece of cake but it can happen. But you have to try.
xxxooo
You use to hide. You use so that you don't have to feel. It's ok honey, I get it, but it doesn't have to be that way. It's not going to be a piece of cake but it can happen. But you have to try.
xxxooo
I can relate to that. It is so strange; everytime you reveal, it sounds more like me.
No, I am not trying to be an egomaniac, I just relate to where you are.
I was in the same type of situation. He knew I was struggling, and I would come home to beer all over the place...he would tell me as he was drinking.."you can't because you can't handle it." Not supportive at all.
The mind games can really get to you. And, it is highly unlikely that he will change.
You have to focus on you. You have got to be willing to do whatever it takes, and his sabbotage won't help.
However, you asked if you will be the same..preabuse....and yes. You can heal. You can get back to that place where you know and act right from wrong without looking over your shoulder to see if you are going to get slammed for it.
Emotional abuse can leave as many scars as physical; you just don't see them as clearly.
I completely agree with Jr. You are gona have to get face to face support.
Did you look into sub? I was a drinker too and you just can't drink on sub. It might be the tool you need to get it.
It can change. you just have to be tired enough of being sick and tired.
No, I am not trying to be an egomaniac, I just relate to where you are.
I was in the same type of situation. He knew I was struggling, and I would come home to beer all over the place...he would tell me as he was drinking.."you can't because you can't handle it." Not supportive at all.
The mind games can really get to you. And, it is highly unlikely that he will change.
You have to focus on you. You have got to be willing to do whatever it takes, and his sabbotage won't help.
However, you asked if you will be the same..preabuse....and yes. You can heal. You can get back to that place where you know and act right from wrong without looking over your shoulder to see if you are going to get slammed for it.
Emotional abuse can leave as many scars as physical; you just don't see them as clearly.
I completely agree with Jr. You are gona have to get face to face support.
Did you look into sub? I was a drinker too and you just can't drink on sub. It might be the tool you need to get it.
It can change. you just have to be tired enough of being sick and tired.
Kerry,
If you don't mind me asking, did you leave him or he leave you? If you left, how did you finally manage to do it?
If it's too personal for this board, could you email me at jroach1279@hotmail.com?
Thanks.
If you don't mind me asking, did you leave him or he leave you? If you left, how did you finally manage to do it?
If it's too personal for this board, could you email me at jroach1279@hotmail.com?
Thanks.
