You say your broken..well so am I. I've been working on me..when you do you, maybe we can fly. Told me you can't read my mind even when I think you can...well think you do, and that's why you've ran. Say you have nothing to offer..nothing to give...material wise sure..but your smile stays with. So much more you don't even see..So many times you've picked me up when I've lost me. Said you don't want to ruin my life..that's admirable if truth..but please don't spare my feelings if that's a lie. I can't read you either it's been so mixed..but every time we are together is a memory I'll cherish and miss. When your gone I feel like I'm mourning a death..then worry that could lead to the reality of what's next. I want to be greatful for the feelings you've left me with..even when you were a wreck you taught me ways to live. if i could only give back what you gave to me...but doesn't always work out that way unfortunately. Doesn't matter how your in my life, wheather lover or friend..feel i need it, but the brain torture has to end. So for now I'll say see you later..maybe we will meet in another life that's greater...
Gone for too long again..but it's nothing new. Just knowing your alive gives me peace..so only in my mind I search for you. Seems forever you've shown up with useless sh*t..broken phones..tangled chords..more treasures needing a place of storage. Popping up with torn up bags of just edible enough food... and always left with broken dishes and a new mess by you. Complicating my life..my mind..the place I stay that's not mine. Didn't matter..I saw what i wanted and put the rest aside. Do i miss these moments..I think sickly I do. You've never burned me like the rest you have, I haven't learned to stay mad at you. The little chaos I miss in getting high and everything that comes with..you provide a taste of that so maybe that's what, not you, who I truly miss..
All those thoughts were just a lie...was digging deeper to avoid..though of course miss chasing the high. Guess I can't accept the way I feel..so searching everywhere for a place to heal. this fantasy I have needs to remain..if I give in reality will set with absolutely nothing to gain.