The Silent Partner posted this post on the Families board on July 18th 2006. Hope everyone can learn from this post like I am trying to do. Shantel
Anger
" Fellings of anger, bitterness and hate are negative, They are of no use" (HH Dalai Lama)
Being angry about something that you can not change, is not only a waste of time but it is bad for your health. When you are angry about something that someone else is doing, saying, or being, it is proof that you are suffering due to the desire to change that person. Being angry at yourself, briefly can result in a "call to action" because you get sick of being angry and decide to change. Being angry at someone else hurts you, not them. Further, it usually reinforces their negative behaviour. When it is the other person's actions that are causing you to be angry, the only action that you can take that will help you, is to stop investing your emotions in the actions of another person.
Thanks Shantel
that is right on.
that is right on.
Hey Shan,
I miss Silent Partner and his good advice. This was right on. Thanks for reminding us.
I miss Silent Partner and his good advice. This was right on. Thanks for reminding us.
Tim, There's alot to be learned from that post. I have a copy of it that I read almost daily. I love it but easier said than done. Shantel
Jodi, I hope you read this post and learn something from it like I am trying to do. When I read your post you always mention your husband and how you expect more from him. Expecting him to be there for you and comfort you when you are down and out and need help. Those feelings are natural. For me a couple of things in this thread hit home. One being "Being angry at someone else hurts you, not them. It only reinforces their negative behaviour" The other being stop investing your emotions in the actions of another person. You are suffering due to the desire to change that other person. Like you I need to worry about making that change in myself and not worry about what the next person is doing or saying. Shantel
Great post Shantel....something we should all give more thought to...S
Oh girl, that is so very true. I can relate 100%. I've spend so much of my life being angry at other people, knowing there's nothing i can do about it. Someone once told me the person who angers you is the person who controls you. I also had my 16 year old daughter read what you wrote, because her boyfriends parents hate her and try to make her life miserable and of course she lets them. We can only change who we are, not anyone else, and we can't let what anyone else say to us or about us control our lives or eat us up inside. You spoke to alot of people and i'm sure helped alot of people with what you said. God Bless You!
Addicted, I didn't write that post I copied it from the Families board. The Silent Parner posted it over there. I do love that post though. Alot of food for thought. Change within ourselves that's what I am working on now. Just seems some days people try to get the best of me, like lets see how far we can push her. I know they have seen the change in me, I have seen the change in me. It just seems like an everyday struggle. When I stopped using my doc a year ago I turned into a very angry person blaming everyone and every situation as to why I became addicted to pills in the first place. I am learning though to let go of that anger &resentment but I wish it wouldn't take so much work on my part. Not an easy thing to do. Shantel
Bumping up this thread for me tonight and for anyone else who might learn something from it. Shantel
Hey Tim, Hope you don't mind me bumping up this thread to go along with yours this morning. Thanks for the reminder on anger. I'll need it today going to work. Shantel
Not at all.This information is excellent.
Thanks,Shantell
Thanks,Shantell