So, I had a fairly significant screw up at work. And it is not the first time. It's not even the second time. I alternately love and hate what I do for a living as it requires me to give so much of myself that sometimes just isn't there. At any rate, I have been suspended pending an investigation. I feel like now may be the time to put all my cards on the table. Just throw it all out there and see what happens. Yet I am TERRIFIED of the possible repercussions. I am a licensed professional, I am good at what I do, people respect me in my position.
On the other hand? I am tired. I need support. I need help. My way doesn't work or I would have fixed all this by now. I keep telling myself that this time will be different and it is for a while. Then the same old feelings and insecurities creep back in. And then it's "One won't hurt. You can handle it". And the truth is that I can't.
So dear anonymous friends, what do I do? Admit it? Good, bad, ugly, indifferent? Do I spill my horrible truth in the hopes that I can finally let it all down off my shoulders and let it go?
I suggest Surrender. You needn't ever face the addiction alone again. Pray for clarity, head for a recovery room.
Hi Kay. Your disease wants to live, to thrive and to be in charge. It will tell you lies and in your diseased state you will believe them. My advice would be to Get the help you need and as skg said you can do that by surrending. Once you do you will be led to a new way of life.The journey to that new life is sometimes challenging but also rewarding.. you owe it to yourself to give it a try. What have you got to lose? everything that is near and dear to you and maybe even your life.There is a solution to your problem an answer to your questions and it can be found in the rooms of AA.. Please keep coming back and let us know how you are doing...
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