Jack-
Thanks for your input. I usually stick to the alcohol, pot and alanon threads but I read all the boards - lots of good advice.
Imagine that - addicts and alcoholics having trust issues -noooo- not us..lol..!
Like I said, I wanted to hold interviews and was so worried I'd get the freaky cat lady who was only too thrilled to sponsor me.
It is really scary opening up to people and telling them the s*** we cringe at when it enters our brains - and then they want us to write it down and tell them???!!!
Don't they realize the absolutely insane stuff we did while we were out there? Don't they realize we swore never to tell another living soul as long as we live?!
Don't they understand??!!
The simple fact is - Yes, they do.They absolutely do understand.
Sponsors are a pain in the a**. They make you call them all the time, they call you and ask what meeting you went to today. And the steps- they are so persistant about those infernal steps. Those 4th and 5th ones especially.
And the big one none of us like-they call us on our s***.
But what I've come to realize is that they are making us accountable.
They are instilling a daily routine (we all certainly had on when we used right?) so whe the s*** hits the fan we have the good habits of recovery in our brains. So when we get in that place(we all know THAT place) our 1st instinct is not to use, it's to call your sponsor , call another addict or alcoholic, go to a meeting..you get the idea.
I've been in that dark place in recovery and instead of the thought of using, the 1st thought was to pick up the phone, and then later on in the day get my butt to a meeting.
Anyway - IMHO - bring up how you are feeling in a meeting (one that this current sponsor isn't in , for obvious reasons.) I know it sounds odd, but tell them the same thing you said this morning. I will bet you will get lots of feedback. Tell the group about the trust issues- they will understand , I promise.
And start going to more meetings - don't cheat yourself out of recovery because of this. That is your disease talking - it wants you to find ANY excuse not to go. Remember it is Cunning,Baffling and Powerful.
Take it easy - remember it is about slow growth- you will get better- wer'e all gettin better- one day at a time.
Carolyn
Hi Carolyn
Wow -3 am and Im up alreAdy-
anyway
You seem to know a lot about sponsership. You hit it right on the head, These people do seem like a pain in the azz. Wanting to get into my life. Wanting me to expose myself. I never even got to the point where someone asked me to write things down.
I know its the way it works &I really like going to meetings . I get a lot out of them. Ive met new people and share when moved to- - however its that issue of trusting another addict ,opening up my life past,presant,and future that scares me off from asking for a sponser.
You give a lot of good suggestions- I just have to do it. Then take it from there.
Like you said- I really dont want this issue to get in the way of progress.
Thanks for the tips ,ILL keep ya in the loop
muchlove
jack
Wow -3 am and Im up alreAdy-
anyway
You seem to know a lot about sponsership. You hit it right on the head, These people do seem like a pain in the azz. Wanting to get into my life. Wanting me to expose myself. I never even got to the point where someone asked me to write things down.
I know its the way it works &I really like going to meetings . I get a lot out of them. Ive met new people and share when moved to- - however its that issue of trusting another addict ,opening up my life past,presant,and future that scares me off from asking for a sponser.
You give a lot of good suggestions- I just have to do it. Then take it from there.
Like you said- I really dont want this issue to get in the way of progress.
Thanks for the tips ,ILL keep ya in the loop
muchlove
jack
