Hey girl hows things with you? I've not really been posting for a while but i've been reading a few now and again. I noticed your post just then and thought i'd say hi. Well my bf is still clean but things are so bad between us right now. I try so hard to keep calm but i just feel so much rage sometimes - it's scary! I dont know what to do at the moment. We were invited to one of his friends bday party, which i was really looking forward to. We hadn't been out for ages together and it would've been nice to be out as a couple. Well what a disaster it turned out to be. I was left to go with his bro and his gf - talk about gooseberry!?!? Do you know there's hardly been a time when we were supposed to go out (either to see a movie or dinner or anything really) that it hasn't been ruined in some way by him!! WHY i keep asking him??? I've been trying to talk to him since the weekend but everything is more important than me and his child right now. It pi$$e$ me off so much - i thought we would move up his list of priorities once he stopped taking smack but we're still way down there at the bottom. so basically its culminated in us both screaming at each other in the street -me throwing his clothes at him - him kicking my mirror off my car and sticking a knife in the tyre - and me telling him i dont want to see him anymore.
Sorry i just had to get all that out - i just feel so mad mad mad right now
Hope everyone's better than me lol
Take care
Jo
Jo7,
Wow thats quite the fights you both have had!! What can I say though me and my bf have had fights like that as well. I don't know if its because he was coming down or not but he's just so difficult sometimes! So I feel bad for you, those aren't fun.
Are you guys fighting because you can't get over the past or because he's just difficult when he's sober?
As for me, I don't know what to believe with my bf. He asked me this morning if he can move back in with me, I said hell no! I don't trust him with keys to my apartment! And then I said I have too many nice things in my apartment and he says, you don't have nice things! Okay my 27" tv that I spent almost $1000 isn't a nice thing? My brand new computer isn't a nice thing? My brand new couches aren't nice? How about all the DVD's I own or my new coffee tables? I mean he could easily pawn those off! He's never done it but theres a first time for everything. Plus what about coming home from work to find him high on crack? Its not the most pleasant thing for me to come home to!! Its horrifying!
Plus I don't believe he didn't relapse yesterday, he's denying it like crazy but I trust my ears and what I heard in his voice. When he denies it like that I often wonder what else does he lie to me about that he denies?
Anyways sounds like we both need a break from this!!! Mine has court in two days! Its his trial, he's obviously 100% guilty so hopefully he goes to jail for awhile.
Wow thats quite the fights you both have had!! What can I say though me and my bf have had fights like that as well. I don't know if its because he was coming down or not but he's just so difficult sometimes! So I feel bad for you, those aren't fun.
Are you guys fighting because you can't get over the past or because he's just difficult when he's sober?
As for me, I don't know what to believe with my bf. He asked me this morning if he can move back in with me, I said hell no! I don't trust him with keys to my apartment! And then I said I have too many nice things in my apartment and he says, you don't have nice things! Okay my 27" tv that I spent almost $1000 isn't a nice thing? My brand new computer isn't a nice thing? My brand new couches aren't nice? How about all the DVD's I own or my new coffee tables? I mean he could easily pawn those off! He's never done it but theres a first time for everything. Plus what about coming home from work to find him high on crack? Its not the most pleasant thing for me to come home to!! Its horrifying!
Plus I don't believe he didn't relapse yesterday, he's denying it like crazy but I trust my ears and what I heard in his voice. When he denies it like that I often wonder what else does he lie to me about that he denies?
Anyways sounds like we both need a break from this!!! Mine has court in two days! Its his trial, he's obviously 100% guilty so hopefully he goes to jail for awhile.
Hey Kitty to be honest i think we seriously need to talk - but find i it really hard because he thinks i should move right on and forget about all the s*** things he's done. He will not give me any time at all. He works from 7 am and if i'm lucky ( if he doesn't go visit his family) he comes back from work somewhere between 10.30 and 11pm. You see he works for his family and he needs to make up to them for leaving them to cope on there own, when he was using. I suppose thats partly what makes me so mad - i feel like he wants to make it up to everyone but me. We dont even have any time to talk - the best i can get is from his work by phone in front of everyone! I've just had another argument with him over the phone about how i dont want to talk over the phone!!!!! How ironic huh? I'm not sure i can go like this - i feel so angry. I've been thinking i should maybe seek out some counselling or something???
I'm sorry to be such a drag especailly when things aren't great for you! You know whether he has used or not - and to be honest i always go with my instinct ( i can always tell over the phone ) I know to someone else it must sound really bad wishing your bf got put in jail, but i know what you mean as i'm sure many others do. Well take care and sorry again for ranting!
I'm sorry to be such a drag especailly when things aren't great for you! You know whether he has used or not - and to be honest i always go with my instinct ( i can always tell over the phone ) I know to someone else it must sound really bad wishing your bf got put in jail, but i know what you mean as i'm sure many others do. Well take care and sorry again for ranting!
Jo7, don't worry about venting on here, thats what this board is for! It does feel good to get it out. I know what you mean about them making amends to everyone but you. My bf always says how bad he feels about what he's put his mom through, but what about me? He should feel bad for all the pain he's put me through also.
And when I want to talk about things, he's not interested, he just gets defensive and angry and turns everything around on me and the fight begins!
He just called and said he really misses me and asked if he can see me tonight. I said no you were supposed to see me last night but you chose not to and I'm choosing not to tonight. He sounded sad and now I feel guilty and bad for not letting him come over but I gotta stick to it! I mean he didn't feel guilty for not coming over last night so why I should I feel guilty?
Anyways I hope your day goes better..vent on here anytime! I'm always here..
And when I want to talk about things, he's not interested, he just gets defensive and angry and turns everything around on me and the fight begins!
He just called and said he really misses me and asked if he can see me tonight. I said no you were supposed to see me last night but you chose not to and I'm choosing not to tonight. He sounded sad and now I feel guilty and bad for not letting him come over but I gotta stick to it! I mean he didn't feel guilty for not coming over last night so why I should I feel guilty?
Anyways I hope your day goes better..vent on here anytime! I'm always here..
