To mollyjean, Hey there girl. I am still here and I am on here everyday reading post. Thank you again for reconizing my sincere efforts to work this program. I am working very hard on it everday. I have people in my life who I love and cherish there friendship. Where before I only cared about me and what I could get out of somebody.
I am so greatful for having a loving god who has forgiven for all my wrongs I have done to other people. I am also greatful he is there for me everyday when I get up and throughout the day whenever I need to call on him and until I go to bed at night. He truly is wonderful and a loving and caring and a giving god. He has given me so much this past year. I have turned everything over to him and I know he is watching out for me as he did when I was using. I am not a religous person at all. I do beleive in spiritualty and one of my favorite quotes is. Religion is for those people who are scared of going to hell and spirituality is for those who have already been there. I thought I would share that with you.
I am walking through life today with my head held up high and I know I am not better than or less than anyone out there. When I feel that way I have to take a moral inventory of myself and see what is going on with me.
Thank you for the nice things you have said about me. I know in my heart I am walking in the right direction but it is so nice when somone else notices it.
I have a loving relationship with my mother where before she was so sick of me and the dugs and especially going through what she went through with me overdosing on her 5 times. I know I put her through alot but today she sees a loving daughter who she is so proud of and we truly have a relationship like I never thought was possible. IT makes me kindof sad because my father never saw this side of me and we were always very close. I was the only girl out of five kids and all were alot older than me and they were all boys.
I know he is one of my guardian angels today and is looking down from heaven and is proud of his little girl. I have a loving girlfriend who I love and admire because she is one of the most honest people I have ever met and I beleive god put us in each others life for a reason. She was so naive to drug addiction and now she is so educated on it and knows that it is not a discriminating disease that it effects anyone who will give it the power to.
I really am happy today and I cherish every second of the day. Today I actutally slept until 4:30 this afternoon and I have always had a hard time sleeping and I tried getting up because I wanted to be able to sleep tonight but said what the hell why go against something my body needs and went ahead and slept. Today I have peace and serinety in my life where before there was nothing but chaos.
My brother called me right before xmas and asked me and melody to come and visit him in orlando florida. This really blew me away because the only time I have ever called him was when I needed money or something he could help me out with. Well, he can see how different I am and I know my mother has told him how much I went through and that was a true blessing to get his call out of the blue to invite me to come to florida. I have never really worked in my life I was never a functoning addict and my grandfather has been taking care of me for the last 8 years of my life. Today I dont have to lie to him and he knows that all the money he has given me over the past eight years has been for drugs mostly and says he knows it was the drugs and forgives me for all the lies I have told him. He just loves me calling him where before I would never say a word unless I was asking him for money and today I call him and talk so much that he has to let me go. He truly loves me and is so proud of me.
God is restoring all my broken relationships up and had given me so much to be thankful for. He gave me 9 chances to get my life together and not die when I should have each time I overdosed. So today I thank him and I have a very special relationship with him where before I really did not even know if there was a god.
I know that today I am a true testament of what god can get you through and he never puts to much on us that we can not handle. I thought I was going crazy coming off of all those drugs for the first ten months and asked god if he was going to take me to please take me soon because I could not bare to go through life with this horrible anxiety and never feeling back to normal again.
Well, today I feel better than normal I feel so much better than I could even imagine physically. For the mental part of it I also feel so many different feelings and will start to cry from just watching the golden girls. I have never really cried before and now I can cry just because I am so happy and I am truly happy today and I wish everyone could feel as good as I do and not have to take something to get rid of there pain.
I just bought a townhouse with my girlfriend and she got me a little puppy a little pomeranian and I love her so much. Her name is angel and she is my little angel.
Just the little things in life are so wonderful and we dont go out and have this big group of friends where before I always had to have so many people in my life and today we have people who are in recovery that we talk to and our familys and that is it.
I could go on and on how much god has given me but I would be here allday. The most importand thing he has given me is me back and for that I am truly greatful and I am taking things on a day to day basis and I am learning how to live life again but sober this time and loving every moment of it. Things look so different to me. The way the air smells and the way the grass looks and just everything. I notice the little things where before I could only see the big picture and not the small things that I see today.
Well, I could ramble on and on and if you would have talked to me about 3 months ago I would have been so quiet and not have said anything but not today girl I am feeling so great and I love my life and I dont take back the ten months of hell I went through for having this much serinety and happiness in my life today. I went through what I went through for a reason and until you are faced with death and almost dying 9 times I dont think I could be able to explain how blessed I feel. Well girl, dont worry I am still around and Im here to carry the message to the addict who still is suffering. I still have alot of self discovery to do for myself but will be around here until they close this message board or They come up with something different than the internet to communicate on.
Thanks again for all the nice things you said and keep in touch and I know we are sisters in recovery together and I am so glad you are living life today without the drugs and you know how great and rewarding recovery can be. I wish everyone could get it but there are some who will die before ever making it here. I am just thankful that I made it here before I gave my life to this awful disease. A living miracle!
April
bump for april and mollyjean...
Hope you dont think im a nosey parker April, but saw you
wantd MJ to read this and it was WAY back....
obviously bored and have time on my hands..lolol
Hugs to both
Ali
Hope you dont think im a nosey parker April, but saw you
wantd MJ to read this and it was WAY back....
obviously bored and have time on my hands..lolol
Hugs to both
Ali
I wanted to thank you both for thinking of me.It means alot to me to know that people Ive never met can care so much
April sweetheart you can brag all day about all the good things going on in your life there is nothing wrong with that.
you get me going about my girls or my kittys & Im the same so anytime sweety...Thank you,....mj
April sweetheart you can brag all day about all the good things going on in your life there is nothing wrong with that.
you get me going about my girls or my kittys & Im the same so anytime sweety...Thank you,....mj
