Hello!
I am brand new to the forum.
I am 29 years old and my boyfriend is 30.
I am not sure where to start or what to say.
I feel very alone right now.
My boyfriend is addicted to Heroin and Crystal Meth (Ice). He often mixes the two and shoots it. This has been going on for about 10 years. I only came back into his life about a month ago. I do not use anything - don't even drink.
We are currently waiting a call from a rehab center - I made him call them in front of me just yesterday.
I have let him destroy several parts of my life in just a short amount of time - loss of friends, angry and disappointed family, finances, etc.
I don't know why I hang on so tight; why I am letting him destroy my life.
I have known this man for 15 years. Was in love with him back then. We reconnected recently and I felt "whole" again for the first time in my life. I love him so much. He is so beautiful. It's the disease of his addiction that is ugly.
I guess my worry is that we may never be able to have a life together and that I am holding on to nothing. He currently has no ID or drivers license, no job and almost homeless, has been to prison.
On the mental side, I can see where the drug has destroyed his brain.
Will that ever come back?
For obvious and justified reasons, my family and friends are very angry with me for being with him. I actually have to sneak around and lie to talk to him or see him.
I guess I am looking for some advice or words from someone who knows what I am going through.
Thank you!!!
Hi Alove and welcome. My daughter is addicted to heroin and has been for the past 3 years or so. She started doing other drugs about 10 years ago and then deteroriated to heroin. She is an IV heroin user.
I read your post a few times and I can tell you dearly love and care for your boyfriend. The hard part is it is very difficult to have a relationship with someone with an addiction. They are in no shape to be in a healthy relationship because they are quite sick and self destructive. They will negatively impact your life as you mentioned he already has. Sadly, in time it gets worse until everything is gone including your well being. It's draining mentally, physically, financially.....Its a very unhealthy relationship I'm so sorry to say. Its very sad because you love him.
I hope he sincerely wants to go to rehab and change his life. If he can do this for a period for at least a year then there may be a chance to have a relationship with him. It will be very difficult for him because he has been using for so long and he's addicted to two highly addictive drugs. He has to genuinely want it.
I wish you all the best and ultimately the choice is yours. I just want you to be aware of the roller coaster chaotic life addiction is. Its very heartbreaking to watch and I understand why you feel alone.
I read your post a few times and I can tell you dearly love and care for your boyfriend. The hard part is it is very difficult to have a relationship with someone with an addiction. They are in no shape to be in a healthy relationship because they are quite sick and self destructive. They will negatively impact your life as you mentioned he already has. Sadly, in time it gets worse until everything is gone including your well being. It's draining mentally, physically, financially.....Its a very unhealthy relationship I'm so sorry to say. Its very sad because you love him.
I hope he sincerely wants to go to rehab and change his life. If he can do this for a period for at least a year then there may be a chance to have a relationship with him. It will be very difficult for him because he has been using for so long and he's addicted to two highly addictive drugs. He has to genuinely want it.
I wish you all the best and ultimately the choice is yours. I just want you to be aware of the roller coaster chaotic life addiction is. Its very heartbreaking to watch and I understand why you feel alone.
Hi Alove & welcome - this site will help you feel supported & hopefully feel you are not so alone. You are choosing a lonely, chaotic life and Sallyanna's words are good advice. All the love in the world cannot change an addict. He MUST have the will to change & it will be HARD. Many fall back down while trying, some try & fail, some never try at all. It is very easy for them to push you to the ends of your limits & when the sh** hits the fan, all of sudden they are ready for help & need your support.... They are kings & queens of manipulation.
A question I have asked myself (about my son's 20 year addict) is "how has all my love & supported helped in over the years?" I learned that here, from the parents & partners here so through the same problems with our kids that we would lay down & die for. It hasn't helped anything. So you have to be aware. This is a great place to get advice, support & not feel guilty. We are not going to sugar coat anything & we aren't go to tear you down. We have all been in your spot & we are all coping the best we can.
You have to take care of yourself. Come here & vent, cry & find out it ok to let go, it's ok to detach yourself & no longer engage to rants, rages, lies, etc. You hang in there & let us know when he gets in a rehab.... Don't give up, keep us updated
A question I have asked myself (about my son's 20 year addict) is "how has all my love & supported helped in over the years?" I learned that here, from the parents & partners here so through the same problems with our kids that we would lay down & die for. It hasn't helped anything. So you have to be aware. This is a great place to get advice, support & not feel guilty. We are not going to sugar coat anything & we aren't go to tear you down. We have all been in your spot & we are all coping the best we can.
You have to take care of yourself. Come here & vent, cry & find out it ok to let go, it's ok to detach yourself & no longer engage to rants, rages, lies, etc. You hang in there & let us know when he gets in a rehab.... Don't give up, keep us updated
Yes ALove, as mtnmom said please know you can find support here and post what you need to talk about. I apologize if my post seemed harsh. I just am concerned about your happiness and to let you know the road of addiction is long and hard.
