I went to my homegroup today. It was a good day and I shared alot. I felt really comfortable and alot of people approached me and told me that I helped them to get a change of perspective. After homegroup I usually hit this Walmart for a few things.
Anyway I was unloading the bags into the back hatch. I noticed these three young guys in a car parked next to me. I was observing them cause I had alot of bags. I immediately thought "they are doing drugs in that car". I couldn't see anything. I thought maybe they were rolling a joint or chopping up some lines. I walked past them and looked inside and saw that the guy in the backseat was shooting dope. The one in the front had a needle in his hand as well. I looked the kid right in the eyes and I have to say that it sickened me. I was thinking how sick it is. They were about 19. I was gonna roll down my window and say, "Dude, NA" but I didn't. I also thought about telling a cop what was going on but I didn't. I figured they were in enough trouble already. Then I thought that maybe I could have saved their lives. I was so freaked out that I pulled over and called my sponser. It really scared me because I was thinking about all of the mscontin, dilaudid and morphone that I have taken. I'm grateful that I never did that and it made me realize how sick I was at the time. I used to meet my dealer in a drugstore parking lot all the time. I wasn't any better. I am grateful to be in a much better place today. Just had to get it out there.
I understand, Alice.
There but for the Grace of God, go I.
Keep them in your prayers....xoxo
There but for the Grace of God, go I.
Keep them in your prayers....xoxo
That would have freaked me out some. I see deals going down in broad daylight all the time on my way to and from school, and there are a number of crack houses and shooting galleries within a stone's throw of my school...and still it troubles me despite having been watching this for years.
Alice, calling your sponsor was a smart move...so glad you made it out...you are needed to help others.
Peace ~ M&M
Alice, calling your sponsor was a smart move...so glad you made it out...you are needed to help others.
Peace ~ M&M
Good move calling your sponser - your heart is sure in the right place, but just your telling me of looking the guy straight in the eye sends a couple chills down my spine. A lot of paranoid & bad people out there, and 3 guys shootin who knows what and a girl by herself----well to me you and your safety come first and are way more important then your desire to help possibly dangerous strangers. Im glad u didnt confront them.
They were about 19 and it freaked me out when I looked into his eyes. I immediately thought of their mothers. My heart goes out to all of the mothers and fathers who live through that nightmare. I did alot of crazy stupid things when I was 19. I was smart enough to know that heroin was something not to mess with.
I was thinking of my safety. You are right about that.
I was thinking of my safety. You are right about that.
I was smart enough to know that heroin was something not to mess with.
Has nothing to do with being smart. I thought my brilliant 18 year old son was smart enough to not get hooked on oxycontin. Doesn't work that way. Those kids are addicts, just like you and me. What do you do in a situation like that? I have no idea. Would I walk away or say something? I don't know. I do know though that I would pray for them. And that's not something I'm very good at.
Has nothing to do with being smart. I thought my brilliant 18 year old son was smart enough to not get hooked on oxycontin. Doesn't work that way. Those kids are addicts, just like you and me. What do you do in a situation like that? I have no idea. Would I walk away or say something? I don't know. I do know though that I would pray for them. And that's not something I'm very good at.
I agree with Lisa on that.There is still this idealogogy that how the dope gets in your body determines the addiction.That's a big myth.Taking pills,snorting pills, putting them up your a** or shooting dope all result in the same end.
I shot up some Nembutals when I was about 17.I didn't try heroin till a few years later but I was already a mess.When I would drink,I would get pukin drunk and I always wanted to get higher.
Where we decide to get off that elevator is the real deal.NA is full of teenagers today.They have the best chance of getting clean because they're young but unfortunately addiction isn't an equal opportunity employer.The rates are not good but even 10% is better than nothing.
I shot up some Nembutals when I was about 17.I didn't try heroin till a few years later but I was already a mess.When I would drink,I would get pukin drunk and I always wanted to get higher.
Where we decide to get off that elevator is the real deal.NA is full of teenagers today.They have the best chance of getting clean because they're young but unfortunately addiction isn't an equal opportunity employer.The rates are not good but even 10% is better than nothing.
I guess I should have said that I knew that heroin was something that I would not return easily from. I knew that it was almost instantly addictive to anyone that tried it and I didn't want to go there. I knew that it was physically addictive. Does that make any sense?
What I didn't know was that all the other stuff was addictive too, particularly any type of opiates. That being my DOC, I am glad I never tried heroin.
I still debate over the addictive mind and the addictive substance. I wouldthinkthat a person who does not have an addictive mind could still get addicted to pain pills or heroin.
What I didn't know was that all the other stuff was addictive too, particularly any type of opiates. That being my DOC, I am glad I never tried heroin.
I still debate over the addictive mind and the addictive substance. I wouldthinkthat a person who does not have an addictive mind could still get addicted to pain pills or heroin.
We all have addictive tendencies. Some more than others but the propensity is there within each of us. Some people pour it into work, some into food, some into sick relationshiops, some into religiosity, some into drugs, some into alcohol, but it is all the same thing.
Put enough of anything in your body and your body and brain chemistry begin to change, and as this happens, we become dependent on that substance. It progresses from there. We forget how to cope without the buzz.
I tried a cocaine heroin speedball when I was 18. Two things happened that night. First, it was the greatest thing I ever experienced, a night that I will never forget. The next morning, I gladly would have killed my mother for more. The second thing that happened was that someone I looked up to (also my drug connection) overdosed on the same speedball (he was partying with the distributor--and had access to the purer uncut stuff I guess) and fell into a near coma for three days. When he started to get his s*** back together he was really scared of dying. I think he had some kind of nervous collapse while gone. It was some pretty serious stuff. He was the very epitome of cool and the fact that he completely lost it and nearly lost his life scared me very badly.
I stayed away from heroin after that encounter. Goes to show that my HP was looking out for me, because I doubt that I would have made it back had I gone back and scored more that morning.
Put enough of anything in your body and your body and brain chemistry begin to change, and as this happens, we become dependent on that substance. It progresses from there. We forget how to cope without the buzz.
I tried a cocaine heroin speedball when I was 18. Two things happened that night. First, it was the greatest thing I ever experienced, a night that I will never forget. The next morning, I gladly would have killed my mother for more. The second thing that happened was that someone I looked up to (also my drug connection) overdosed on the same speedball (he was partying with the distributor--and had access to the purer uncut stuff I guess) and fell into a near coma for three days. When he started to get his s*** back together he was really scared of dying. I think he had some kind of nervous collapse while gone. It was some pretty serious stuff. He was the very epitome of cool and the fact that he completely lost it and nearly lost his life scared me very badly.
I stayed away from heroin after that encounter. Goes to show that my HP was looking out for me, because I doubt that I would have made it back had I gone back and scored more that morning.
Does that make any sense?
Loud & clear to me but I think we're a lot alike, Alice....I remember trying just about anything when I was partying except for acid & herion as people told me those were the best "highs" so at around 18yrs old I already "knew" deep down I'd be hooked so I didn't try.....does that make sense?
Today I know in my heart, that putting anything in my body that alters my mind or mood, I will abuse. Did it with the alcohol, did it with the drugs, I'm done...
Good post David.
Loud & clear to me but I think we're a lot alike, Alice....I remember trying just about anything when I was partying except for acid & herion as people told me those were the best "highs" so at around 18yrs old I already "knew" deep down I'd be hooked so I didn't try.....does that make sense?
Today I know in my heart, that putting anything in my body that alters my mind or mood, I will abuse. Did it with the alcohol, did it with the drugs, I'm done...
Good post David.
