I was never officially in a program, but as im writing you all i hope it might reinforece your stoicism and awaken my own. It is 11:49am in Indiana, and ive been up all night drinking. I have not gone to bed. I bought a pint of vodka and drank it, then i bought a bottle of vodka and i drank about 3/4 of that. I blacked out tonight which is more than sad to say. I did not go to sleep, but i know that the tape has not been running all night. I am shocked. I guess i shouldnt be, but this is shocking and disturbing. I CLEARLY have a serious problem...ive let it get to this point. I called my friend at work this morning at about 8:30am, i was totally loaded and still am probably blowing about .12 at noon....i told him in a drunken slurry way that i wanted to go to a meeting tonight...he said ok, but i guess the good news out of all this is that im finally going to a meeting...its sad that i can type and put together coherent thoughts at such a drunken sstate..god help me..i know this is not the kind of post most want to read, but this is my story and i hope it helps someone. thanks
ps-valarie, im sorry...my update will be coming soon (not counting this one)
Dodsworth you sound like me the day I contacted AA. we have been all there. I know exactly where you are coming from.so do all of us. I am just glad that you are getting the courage and strength to do something about it.I was loaded out of my mind when I first called AA and got my sponsor. I didn't even know what day it was. You will be allright. You have taken the first step toward healing by admitting you have a problem. be proud of that,it takes guts to do what you are doing. I am proud of you for standing up to the most powerful,cunning and baffling disease in this world. Hang in there and do what you have to do to get better and someday you will be like skg who is celebrating one year of sobriety. Then you will be able to look back at your post today and be grateful. It's a journey that you take but you don't have to take it alone. You have all of us to support you along the way. I only have 16 weeks so I am still a newbie at this but you have those on the board like skg,val, and 24 Gordon who have a lot of time in and are always willing to help and give advice and share. I am truly happy that you have decided to get help. good luck and God bless and always remember that you have support here. I am rooting for you.
Dodsworth,
Please don't beat yourself up. Today is a new day, a new beginning. Take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself.
Please don't beat yourself up. Today is a new day, a new beginning. Take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself.
What do you plan to do to stay sober? What are you going to do different?
When it hurts enough--when the consequences become painful enough--you'll figure it out. AA will be there when you do.
You only need a desire to stop drinking to go to AA and at the moment the desire to drink is stronger, and only you will know when you hit bottom
light and love Zac
light and love Zac
Hi Dodsworth,
Your post helped me much! You see you help remind me of where I was once just 5 months back. Vodka and beer were my favorite beverages. I repeated the research and testing as SKG puts it over and over and over again. Repeating the same thing and expecting different results is what the Big Book - AA calls insanity. I think you can relate, huh.
I drank for many years. It started out slow built up like climbing up to the peak of a mountain and then slowly my body couldn't handle such big amounts. My body needed less for the same effect. Actually trying to get that warm buzz was pretty much gone by that point.
I really got sick and tired of being sick and tired. Are You Getting To This Point? Because if you are theres hope. I tried two short stints at AA and back out I went until I reached this point. I'm one stubborn hard headed woman. I did however remember some of what I heard there.
Now I can't get enough of the program. I'm learning to live life on life's terms and have many people who have walked in my shoes to show me a program of action that leads back to sanity. It does require some belief in something more powerful than yourself. Which can be almost anything. As all my attempts and best thinking were keeping me drunk.
One thing that I hear in the rooms is don't drink no matter what just for today, or this hour, minute. Even if your a** falls off. Can you not drink anymore just for today until your friend is off work. Sit on your hands if you have to thats another thing the 12 steppers here and in the rooms have told me.
You will learn so much at AA and nobody will judge you there. Can you manage to eat a little something? Drink lots of water if you can. Alcohol dehydrates the body terribly.
Dodsworth, you are not hopeless cause!!! Many of us went really far down the dark, lonely and broken path of alcoholism. It is not a moral problem like I once thought. It is a disease of mind, body and spirit. If you really honestly want to get better you can. Of course if your not done doing research. You can keep going through the gates of insanity. They eventually lead to prison, institutions and death. I pray and hope you don't choose that path Adam!!! You deserve to live and finish that college degree.
I really do hope you see the urgency and get your butt to an AA meeting today!
Let us know how it went and anything else we can do to support your recovery journey. Welcome back to the first day of your life Adam! It works if you work it!
Take Care,
Chris
Your post helped me much! You see you help remind me of where I was once just 5 months back. Vodka and beer were my favorite beverages. I repeated the research and testing as SKG puts it over and over and over again. Repeating the same thing and expecting different results is what the Big Book - AA calls insanity. I think you can relate, huh.
I drank for many years. It started out slow built up like climbing up to the peak of a mountain and then slowly my body couldn't handle such big amounts. My body needed less for the same effect. Actually trying to get that warm buzz was pretty much gone by that point.
I really got sick and tired of being sick and tired. Are You Getting To This Point? Because if you are theres hope. I tried two short stints at AA and back out I went until I reached this point. I'm one stubborn hard headed woman. I did however remember some of what I heard there.
Now I can't get enough of the program. I'm learning to live life on life's terms and have many people who have walked in my shoes to show me a program of action that leads back to sanity. It does require some belief in something more powerful than yourself. Which can be almost anything. As all my attempts and best thinking were keeping me drunk.
One thing that I hear in the rooms is don't drink no matter what just for today, or this hour, minute. Even if your a** falls off. Can you not drink anymore just for today until your friend is off work. Sit on your hands if you have to thats another thing the 12 steppers here and in the rooms have told me.
You will learn so much at AA and nobody will judge you there. Can you manage to eat a little something? Drink lots of water if you can. Alcohol dehydrates the body terribly.
Dodsworth, you are not hopeless cause!!! Many of us went really far down the dark, lonely and broken path of alcoholism. It is not a moral problem like I once thought. It is a disease of mind, body and spirit. If you really honestly want to get better you can. Of course if your not done doing research. You can keep going through the gates of insanity. They eventually lead to prison, institutions and death. I pray and hope you don't choose that path Adam!!! You deserve to live and finish that college degree.
I really do hope you see the urgency and get your butt to an AA meeting today!
Let us know how it went and anything else we can do to support your recovery journey. Welcome back to the first day of your life Adam! It works if you work it!
Take Care,
Chris
Adam,
The only person you have to be accountable to is yourself. You know what you have to do....now do it. You have to take some steps to make some changes or nothing will change. You will be doing the exact same thing a year from now but probably to a higher degree. No time like the present. You can do it. We have all been where you are so know you are not alone.
Hang in there! Get to a meeting or get some other type of help but do something. Any action is better than no action.
Valarie
The only person you have to be accountable to is yourself. You know what you have to do....now do it. You have to take some steps to make some changes or nothing will change. You will be doing the exact same thing a year from now but probably to a higher degree. No time like the present. You can do it. We have all been where you are so know you are not alone.
Hang in there! Get to a meeting or get some other type of help but do something. Any action is better than no action.
Valarie
