My son is 20 years old and has been smoking synthetic marijuana for a few years now. We have battled this mess for a long time and he does good for a little while but then eventually goes back to it. Like most parents think, why is this happening? He was not raised like this? It started out with him experiencing a little bit at a party and then gradually it worsened until we started noticing he was losing weight, dark circles around his eyes, his phone ranged constantly all hours of the night, he was distant from his family, forgetful, slept alot, and the list goes on. As a single mother at the time I was furious seeing this and of course he rebelled when I tried to get him to stop. He eventually admitted to using when I would find things around the house like a pipe or stashes of foreign substances in his duffle bag or under his dresser drawer, etc. I did everything in my power to hinder his drug use. I searched his room, bathroom, and his belongings daily. I threw out whatever was suspicious. I went through his cell phone and collected numbers of contacts I suspected he was getting it from. I made threatening phone calls to them hoping they would be afraid to contact him. I ran off people that came to my house looking for him. I did any and everything possible to slow it down. Of course none of that worked. He would clean up for a little while and then there were always signs that he was using again. He didn't want to work and whatever job he did get he didn't keep. The situation worsened. He pawned family and friends' belongings, etc., and sold them to the pawn shops. We constantly ran after him paying his debts to keep him out of legal trouble or getting jail time. We kept saying that this is it and we are not getting him out of any more trouble. Of course, we continued to enable him. I prayed and prayed for God to work in his heart. We finally started showing tough love and stopped enabling him. I allowed him to live at home, eat, shower, etc., but there wasn't going to be anymore money given out until he changed his lifestyle, friends, and got a job. The situation never changed for the better until September of this year he came to me and said he needed to get help before he got too far down this road. We were excited that he made the choice in admitting he needed help. He said he was afraid to die. He checked himself into a 30-45 day recovery center and was doing great. He checked himself out after two weeks and came home. He was convinced he could do this on his own. He did good for a month and recently started a new job. He worked one week and then we noticed last Sunday that he was high as a kite. He has since then wrecked his truck. Two days ago we found him at one of his friend's house laid out on the bed with his eyes rolled back in his head. Another day longer he would have been dead. He apparently got a hold of a bad batch of synthetic marijuana. This was the worse we have ever seen him before. He was taken to the ER by ambulance and they transferred him to a rehab for 7-14 days where he is right now. I need suggestions on what I need to do to change things around my house. I want to enforce stricter rules and I now have someone in my life for the last two years that is willing to help me enforce those rules. I don't want to lose my son but I cannot stand to watch him do this to himself and wind up dead.
hi, unfortunately until your son is ready to quit there is nothing you can say or do that will help him long term- for yourself you should perhaps check out a local NA/ NA Anon group where you will find many people facing similar issues- addicts have to want to get clean- have to want it more than they want to get high only then will they give up- i am speaking from personal experience - i am an alcoholic and drug addict- much as you want to help your son only he can really help himself- you might like to have a look at "let me fall all by myself" on the bottom left of this page- it really says it all- you must realise addicts like myself and your son do not think or act like other people- when we are in active addiction the drugs come first - before everything and everyone in our lives-we lie and cheat and steal, if necessary to get the drugs we need to feed our disease of addiction-the hardest choice sometimes is the right thing to do - you have to leave him to find his own truth- it is really only when we get clean that we realise the consequences of our addiction and the pain it inflicts on those around us-i hope and pray that your son finds the right road and finds recovery- i also hope and pray you find the support you will need to get through this -
Call the rehab or detox where he is and ask them what you should be doing.
Click on http://www.nar-anon.org/ and find out where the meetings are in your area.
Go to those meetings. They will save your life/sanity and you will be better able to help your son.
I wish you the best.
Bob R
Click on http://www.nar-anon.org/ and find out where the meetings are in your area.
Go to those meetings. They will save your life/sanity and you will be better able to help your son.
I wish you the best.
Bob R
