Truth

Marijuana
1
I told the truth to my doctor today about my pot use. I was prescribed wellbutrin 150 mg/day. 14 day script for now. ( I'm assuming she's concerned because I have had suicidal thoughts and i guess i could od???) This drug is prescribed to cig smokers who want to quit. Makes sense. I have to come see her next week to talk again. She's going to get me into an outpatient program at the hospital too.

Today is day 4, no weed, no oil. I'm going to do a road trip by myself to visit my mom and my brother very soon. No husband, kids or drugs. It's nice to have something to look forward to. I plan on confessing to them too. That'll be hard. I wish I could stay with them for months. My mom and my brother are beautiful human beings. My husbands use/lack of concern is a huge problem for me, and I know I'm just running away from him and the drugs. But I chose him for my husband knowing he was a pothead. He offers no support right now. When he called and asked me how it was going today, I told him I was going through withdrawals and he started to talk about the stock market???? Several months ago he told me he honestly believes this is not an issue for me (addiction) because I am not "chronic". Dontcha love it??? You tell someone you love that you're an addict and they say, "nah, your not."

Anyway, I need to quit bitching about my husband and focus on me.

Ciao for now.
2
Good on ya! Going to a doctor I think is the way to go. Everyone thinks marijuana addiction is all in your head. Hopefully, this other drug will help you get off the pot. You sound so much more positive since i was last on the messageboard a few weeks ago. Are you feeling more confident, you sound it! Well done! I'm on the valium which just takes away those cravings and anxious feelings. It really works, except when boyfriend comes home and has a smoke. I have had one or two but that is better than the 15-20 bongs i used to smoke a day. I hope the road trip is successful for you and clears your mind!
Chrissie
3
You are so right, I feel ten feet tall, just because of 20 minutes with a really good doctor.

Thanks Chrissie. Good job on cutting back so much! That's great!

Going to watch the final Canadian Idol now....hoping our city wins!!!!
4
joy, congrats on day 4. welbutrin will help a lot. i have taken it for some time now, along with another antidepresant, but i have also battled with depression for a long time. i used to wonder too about is it the pot making me depressed or is it actual depression. my therapist point of view was, i was depressed pot or no pot, and i was better treated for it even if i was still smoking rather than ignoring it. i guess basically an addict in treatment is better than an addict not. i am positive i would have been in a horrible situation long before had i not had antidepressants.
mental health issues date far in my family and i have a great grandfather that committed suicide. so there isnt much i can do to avoid it. at least i get mine taken care of, most of my family wont even acknowledge it for themselves.
i know your husband is driving you crazy, it seems like it is all about him. after some clean time you might re evaluate the situation and decide what is best for you. now may not be the time to obsess over it, or feel the need to focus on the relationship. it may work itself out.
you are the one to focus on, you deserve to get the attention you need. i am glad you have a good family to visit. enjoy yourself.
5
you go girls!
6
Thanks Jamv and Hippienerd, your positivity is really helpful to me at this stage of the game.