Well yesterday I dropped my bf off at a rehab. It's only 16 days but I am trying to get him into a TC which is 9 months. It is a really strict program and he does not want to do it, bit I am going to get him on the list anyway just in case he changes his mind. He says he doesn't want to waste 9 months of his life. Hello, you have wasted four years doing drugs, can you not dedicate 9 measely months to your recovery? I don't know what it will do to us, but that should be the least of his worries. He can have visitors for 4 hours every Saturday. They have meetings every day at the house, and they also go out to meetings. They take little field trips, beaches in the summer, and they do a lot of other activities. It will help him change his way of life. He will see who are his real friends and the ones that were just hanging with him to get high. I hope he does it. I have my ex who I am still really close with pulling some strings to get him in there without a wait. He is also a recovering addict from H, and he did the program and he also worked there after so he has connections there. I'll keep you posted.
Poohbear
poohbear, that's really good news.
hopefully through rehab he will gain insight into the seriousness of his condition and respond.
hopefully through rehab he will gain insight into the seriousness of his condition and respond.
Poohbear, thats good that he went to that rehab to detox. What is this TC that you mentioned?
I'm feeling a bit off tonight personally, like a bad feeling. He got paid and came over to pay me what he owed me and left immediately. I'm just suspicious I guess that he went home to use, because he said he'd spend the evening with me. I listened closely to his voice but I couldn't really tell, being suspicious it kinda sounded like he was using but I don't know.
Anyways he came over crying yesterday because his crack head brother pawned off his new stereo and DVD's for crack and his moms vacuum cleaner, which was very expensive. I knew it was going to happen...besides I'm sure my bf would've pawned it anyways if his brother didn't get to it first.
So I hate having this bad feeling! I just feel depressed and anxious..hopefully tomorrow will be better. I hope things work out with your boyfriend...
I'm feeling a bit off tonight personally, like a bad feeling. He got paid and came over to pay me what he owed me and left immediately. I'm just suspicious I guess that he went home to use, because he said he'd spend the evening with me. I listened closely to his voice but I couldn't really tell, being suspicious it kinda sounded like he was using but I don't know.
Anyways he came over crying yesterday because his crack head brother pawned off his new stereo and DVD's for crack and his moms vacuum cleaner, which was very expensive. I knew it was going to happen...besides I'm sure my bf would've pawned it anyways if his brother didn't get to it first.
So I hate having this bad feeling! I just feel depressed and anxious..hopefully tomorrow will be better. I hope things work out with your boyfriend...
So sorry to hear you had a bad night. A TC is a Therapeutic Community, it is 9 months to a year of very strict recovery. You can't leave and get a job or anything. You have meetings and groups all day. You go out to meetings with everyone in the house, they take little field trips on the weekends, beaches during the summer stuff like that. But last night I called a place which is right near where he is now. He'd be on full restriction for fourteen days, then you go out and get a job. They provide your transportation so they can't wonder about. Every other weekend you go out a pass, as long as the person you leave with meets their criteria. And on the opposite weekend you have 4-6 hour os\f visitors on Sat. and Sun. It's 5 months long. I think it would be perfect for him. They make sure the job you get isn't like a career, more lke a self help thing. He called me yesterday and told me he wasn't aloud to use the phone while he's detoxing, which is 6 days. He told his counselor he HAD to call me to tell me he loves me. How sweet. We talked for a few and he said he'd call next week. Then his mother called me last night to say he called her and to tell me he wrote me a letter but sent to his house because he couldn't remember my add. Funny how guys never know that stuff. His mother said he was having a hard time with the withdrawals but wouldn't take any of the meds they offered, except for Immodium. So I am going to write him today to tell him about that other place. Let me know about your bf.
Poohbear, I think that place sounds like it would be great for your bf. Is he going to go? I think but don't of course have proof that my bf stayed clean because he went to work in the morning. I was expecting him to say that his boss called and said there was no work so he wouldn't have to go to work because he stayed up all night smoking crack but he went to work so thats a good sign.
When my bf left for rehab last November, he had a really hard time being there because he couldn't call me but he found a way anyways, probably every second day for the whole week and a half he was there. They finally called him into the office where he was and told him he can't call me anymore, maybe once a week and he couldn't handle that so he left. He was supposed to be there for a year. But nope he couldn't handle a year of his life in that place. It was all guys and it was a Christian place and they didn't get to go anywhere unsupervised. He's tried that place 4 times but never stayed.
So do you feel a lot better now that your bf is in detox?
When my bf left for rehab last November, he had a really hard time being there because he couldn't call me but he found a way anyways, probably every second day for the whole week and a half he was there. They finally called him into the office where he was and told him he can't call me anymore, maybe once a week and he couldn't handle that so he left. He was supposed to be there for a year. But nope he couldn't handle a year of his life in that place. It was all guys and it was a Christian place and they didn't get to go anywhere unsupervised. He's tried that place 4 times but never stayed.
So do you feel a lot better now that your bf is in detox?
I feel somewhat better. But I still want him to continue with it. 16 days is not going to do it at all. I need to convince him, it wll only better our realtionship. He is so stuck on it ruining it, and that I won't wait. His mother just called for my address and said he wanted to send me something, what a bomb!!! Just kidding. I am severly over tired. I can't sleep at all maybe 2 hours a night. It's crazy, I am goofy and stupid right now. Needless to say I won't accomplish anything at work today. Well at least your bf went to work. But that never really gave me comfort I was still curious about why they wouldn't see you the night before. I am somewhat happy I don't have to worry as far as him getting high, but he used to stay over every night and its weird not having his body next to mine, you know? Keep me posted.
Ya I understand, when my bf left for rehab, I cried as soon as he got on that bus..I knew he was getting help but I cried a lot that weekend he left because I missed him so much!
Sorry to hear you didn't get much sleep..I had a hard time getting to sleep too because he called at 8:30 last night to say he was going to bed...he does go to bed early but still I was stressed out that he just said he was going to bed so that he can do crack and not have to call so I can hear his voice. So I couldn't fall asleep till later. Then I was worried, what if his mom calls to tell me he overdosed? I just felt so depressed, its not the way I want to live. Usually I dont' have to worry if my boyfriend is going to die overnight you know?
And so that has left me feeling a little off...and now I'm stressed at work because I work monday to friday and they want us to take our first aid on the weekend without paying us!! I said no way! I'm not giving up my weekend to take a course, I have it but it just expired, I expect to get paid! So what a hassle, my day sucks..
Do you think your boyfriend will stay for the whole detox?
Sorry to hear you didn't get much sleep..I had a hard time getting to sleep too because he called at 8:30 last night to say he was going to bed...he does go to bed early but still I was stressed out that he just said he was going to bed so that he can do crack and not have to call so I can hear his voice. So I couldn't fall asleep till later. Then I was worried, what if his mom calls to tell me he overdosed? I just felt so depressed, its not the way I want to live. Usually I dont' have to worry if my boyfriend is going to die overnight you know?
And so that has left me feeling a little off...and now I'm stressed at work because I work monday to friday and they want us to take our first aid on the weekend without paying us!! I said no way! I'm not giving up my weekend to take a course, I have it but it just expired, I expect to get paid! So what a hassle, my day sucks..
Do you think your boyfriend will stay for the whole detox?
I actually just talked to him. He sounds really good. There are a couple kids there from the city we live in so he has made some friends. I think he'll stay. I didn't mention the other halfway house I found because I know he is already going through enugh with the detox and everything. He kept saying I sounded weird but its hard there is so much I want to say and we literaly have three minutes to talk. He told me I had to go by his house on my way home from work to pick something up. so at least he tried with Valentine's Day. I just pray for him every night to help him understand that it doesn't happen over night and any help he can get he should take full advantage, I am not going any where, and neither is his family or REAL friends. What are you guys doing after the mall?
Ya I know what you mean about the short phone calls, I hated that. My bf was only allowed 3 minutes too and I wanted to say so much but couldn't. His only questions when he'd call were 'what did you do on the weekend? Have you been faithful?" not "how are you? Are things good with you?" it was so hard, I couldnt tell him about anything in fear of upsetting him. The day is dragging on...so at the mall we're picking up some food at this meat shop and he's going to cook for me and we're just going to hang out watching TV..oh ya watch Desperate Housewives he made sure I taped it.
Not really romantic but what can I expect from him? Remember we're talking about someone who bought me a toaster for my birthday!
Not really romantic but what can I expect from him? Remember we're talking about someone who bought me a toaster for my birthday!
I am sorry, but when I hear you say he bought you a toaster, I start to laugh. I don't know why I find it so funny, and I am sure I wouldn't have if it was me who got it.
He seems to have severe isues with being insecure. It's really obvious from the things you tell me.
Do you see a future with this guy? Do you honestly think they can really love us? I posted under heroin to maybe get someone who is actually the addict to respond. It's so hard to tell listening to people who don't know how an addict feels. Not that they can read someone elses mind, but I just want to know if their feelings are real or not, you know?
He seems to have severe isues with being insecure. It's really obvious from the things you tell me.
Do you see a future with this guy? Do you honestly think they can really love us? I posted under heroin to maybe get someone who is actually the addict to respond. It's so hard to tell listening to people who don't know how an addict feels. Not that they can read someone elses mind, but I just want to know if their feelings are real or not, you know?
Ya I'd love to know how the addict feels. I actually did ask an addict on the crack/cocaine board how his ex could've done things differently to help him hit rock bottom a lot faster and he gave me a good reply if you want to go and read it. I can't remember the post but I will bump it up for you. I think its called "to Anniesdad" by kittycat. He's a recovering crack addict and is happy to answer my questions.
Ya the toaster thing...I'm not kidding he was more excited about it than I was. We're talking about the same guy who also gets excited to get flyers in the mail (Zellers, Walmart, etc)..he loves to look at furniture and how to decorate a place.His dream is actually to build a cabin out on a lake..but I keep reminding him that will never happen as long as he's an active user.
Is your boyfriend insecure too? Mine is really insecure. He always accuses me of looking at other guys, I mean I was on the bus going home friday and he called my cell phone. He heard guys in the background and accused me of being with guys in a car! Umm okay, hard as it is to believe, guys do take busses too!
I don't really see a future with him, not with his insecurities and also not with him being an addict and always wondering if he'll relapse but I keep telling myself I'll leave him and it never happens..how about you?
Ya the toaster thing...I'm not kidding he was more excited about it than I was. We're talking about the same guy who also gets excited to get flyers in the mail (Zellers, Walmart, etc)..he loves to look at furniture and how to decorate a place.His dream is actually to build a cabin out on a lake..but I keep reminding him that will never happen as long as he's an active user.
Is your boyfriend insecure too? Mine is really insecure. He always accuses me of looking at other guys, I mean I was on the bus going home friday and he called my cell phone. He heard guys in the background and accused me of being with guys in a car! Umm okay, hard as it is to believe, guys do take busses too!
I don't really see a future with him, not with his insecurities and also not with him being an addict and always wondering if he'll relapse but I keep telling myself I'll leave him and it never happens..how about you?
My bf is not insecure, and if he is, he hides it well.
I am not sure about a future. I mean there are soooo many issues you know. How can we want to be with someone we wouldn't even leave alone in our houses? They lie to our faces over and over. But yet why can't we get up and walk away? Because we love them even though they have crushed us completely on more than one occasion? I just don't get it. Sorry if I am bringing you down on V-day. I don't want to spoil your day because I am alone and grumpy.
I am not sure about a future. I mean there are soooo many issues you know. How can we want to be with someone we wouldn't even leave alone in our houses? They lie to our faces over and over. But yet why can't we get up and walk away? Because we love them even though they have crushed us completely on more than one occasion? I just don't get it. Sorry if I am bringing you down on V-day. I don't want to spoil your day because I am alone and grumpy.
Oh don't worry about it, you're totally not bringing me down on V-Day! I hear everyone here at work talking about their plans with their significant others and I feel jealous! Everyones spoiling everyone and they all sound so happy with their s/o and here I am just glad mines clean!!
Oh if your bf was insecure you'd know!! They have a hard time keeping that a secret. Anyways I'm on the phone with my ex now, wishing him a happy V-Day! We were together for ten years and are really good friends now. Man I thought WE had problems! At least he wasn't an addict! I didn't know how good I had it, oh well.
Oh if your bf was insecure you'd know!! They have a hard time keeping that a secret. Anyways I'm on the phone with my ex now, wishing him a happy V-Day! We were together for ten years and are really good friends now. Man I thought WE had problems! At least he wasn't an addict! I didn't know how good I had it, oh well.
