Unbelievable

Feeling depressed and like hell since getting off both prednisone and elavil...I have struggling along...still sticking to my taper. Coming off the AD was almost as bad as opiates..I am just BEGINNING to feel ok....I called the detox AGAIN and spoke to the head of intake and went through the past 3 "discusions" as to why I am too difficult to detox. She actually said there was no record of me calling. I was livid. She took down all my info and said she would personally speak to the DR.(there is 1) and call me back. She knew I was desperate and I told her what was told to me about me being a "difficult" patient, etc......so I am waiting and waiting...no call. I am really curious to see if I get a call today...I will call. I don't care how crummy the place is as long as it gets me home drug free...the beds are clean and I won't be alone...plus they can send you to a hospital if necessary...but why is it SO hard? The irony is killing me. 2 years ago...2 intake counselors were asking me to come and get help and I wasn't ready. Now I a asking. Go figure. Tony already is on board with it...he can hold it down for 7 days. If I come home feeling like crap...it's ok...I can proceed from there. Drug free right now sounds like heaven. For anyone coming off an AD...please taper. The last week has been dizziness, awful fatigue and unrelenting nausea. This is 8 months on Elavil...Drs. do not tell you jack about drugs...it is up to us...they whip out that rx pad and bla, bla bla........Sharonn
To answer my own post..they just called me and gave me the green light. No beds til April...I have to call March 31st.She was a little pissed that I couldn't come today, as this week would be ok........after that they are full until the first. I should and tell my boss adios..but he would not take me back. He already planned a trip to Florida and I promised to cover him..just knowing I can go is wonderful....By then Tony will be feeling ok and will be able to handle the pets and the house(I know,,focus on me) At least she called me back and I am grateful for that. I want to get this over with for sure. Thanks all...Wooooo-Hoooooooooooo! All they have to do is re-activate my paperwork. Sharonn
Sharon,im so sorry youre having to go through all this.You are one determined lady! Dont give up,keep trying.You really really want this,it will happen.

Youre lucky Tony is there for you and you have a nice safe,quiet,home to come home to when the time comes,that will make it easier for you.

So,im not quite sure what the problem is...you cant find a place to take you? And why is that? Everybody filled up?Are you on any type of waiting list?

I commend you for all that youve managed to do on your own.Thats quite alot to take on,but youve done it,you should be very proud.

I hope something opens up for you real soon.Wishing you the best~KIM

PS~you were typing as i was.Well thats great news.You'll go in April,that gives you plenty of time to prepare,get things in order.Congratulations!
Kim...you must have posted before me...I got the green light...FINALLY...this woman was so nasty but it's all good...I am not looking for a new friend...just sobriety. I wish I could go today. I have to call at the end of the month. I hope you are feling better Kim..I know you've been sad....Love, Sharonn
Thats right Sharon,youre not needing her friendship,just a helping hand.Why do they put people in postions they cant handle? Someone like that should not be dealing with people who need help,they/she obviously does not have the disposition for it!!! Um so glad theres a light at the end of the tunnel for you.

Thanks for your concern about me,im fine.It comes and goes.I truly think its the sub,or possible PAWS,there is no rhyme or reason for the bouts of depression.I will get it taken care of soon though,one way or another.

Spring is comign and i couldnt be happier about that!!!!!!! Might even hit 50's next week!!!!!!!!!! Warm weather,being outside is always so uplifting,it always gets me motivated.Cant wait! Take care Sharon~KIM
Sharon Oh huny Im glad you are getting a bed but huny to try & go off the Ads,well I dont know.I can only speak about myself as I made the mistake of going off my AD Ct & I truley felt like I couldnt hold on?I guess with mine you need to taper off.But anyways,I guess this means you wont be looking into Sub?I mean you should know Ill stand by & support you & try to help however I can,but I thought you were really interested in that????
By the way.....Ive missed you huny!!! You too Kimber!!!
All I know is that I am sick of going in circles..obviously I cannot make peace with taking pain meds so what is the point..nothing changes if nothing changes, Yeah...it would be nice if we lived in a world where people were all compassionate and kind...but it just isn't so.And I am horribly oversensitive...but this is MY choice. It will be a year in May and if I don't make a major move to get off now..this will be my life. I have pets who care about me and need me...a great guy,,,and the few true friends I have made recently. I know going off the Ad and pred would be bad but the weight is adding so much to my pain...it is a viscious cycle. When I have suffered long and hard to wake up feeling good I will get on my knees and thank God.Life is what we make it. Opiates make it a living hell. I already know what this place is like so I am mentally prepared...all I have to do there is get well..no housework,no demands...just get well.....it won't be easy but I will not have to struggle with this daily obsession. As long as I have pills in this house...my tapering will be difficult at best...I could do it but why? Why not go and ge it over with. I am not comfortable with Tony seeing me suffer so much...he feels helpless. Kim...I get depressed every Winter ...maybe next year when I don't have pills in my life I can concentrate on the gym or a hobby. This Winter was a bust.Spring is around the corner..we MUST hang on!!! Love, Sharonn
Sharon,it must be the end of winter blues because I also have been sad,.You TOO I would LOVE to meet & go fishing with or take a Hudson River Cruise with.
I wish there was an easy solution for you,but you do seem very determimed & that will work in your favor.You know it will.
Sharonn...happy that your happy honey. Have one question though..what made you decide to do the detox? What are you going to do about your pain when you get off of the drugs? And what will you do for recovery when you get out? Ok, that was 3 questions...Thinking about you...Lisa
I truly do not know what I will do about pain Lisa...I have put myself in God's hands and He will help find the answer. If I make narcotics no longer an option...then???? I know that losing weight has already helped my back and I believe in miracles. I have to Lisa. I cannot go on feeling this way...same s**t different day...it is depressing. My entire life will have to change..people ,places, things. I may have to quit the job I love because it is too physically demanding at times and basically the guy I work for is selfish...he has actually said to me "Why don't you pop a pill so you can vacuum?" Nice friend. I have to turn a corner for me and Tony too. He deserves someone who is not obsessed with pills. I know I am going to suffer but I will know in my heart that I tried...and to me...that is really the answer to your question. To start over and think differently...stop being a victim of illness and have more gratitude about what I DO have in my life. I might have an illness but I am blessed to have a home and food...more than what a lot of people have...I saw a homeless man walking in the freezing(5 degree) weather yesterday. I started to cry...no one cares.People are driving by in their warm cars and bitching about not winning the lottery. In America....it is not right. Where is the compassion? Thank you for all the support you have given me...I will need it. Love, Sharonn
You can count on my support Sharon...I'm going to challenge you though..get you to keep thinking and stay on course. You do know that 7 days is a drop in the bucket when it comes to withdrawals and quitting pills. Yes, the detox will help make you a little more comfortable, but you still have to come home after 7 days. Why not a 28 day program? Why not truly give yourself the gift of recovery done right? Have you thought about what you will do when you get out? Have you checked out meetings or a counselor? I have nothing but respect for you right now, what you are going through is horrible (the pain on top of addiction) and this is not going to be easy. But I think that you are very determined. L, Lisa
I wish 28 days were an option.....I have decided no more "pain" support groups because it involves talking a lot about drugs. I ned a totally different route...AA meetings have always helped me and I am not a fan of NA...at least the ones I went to. To me...recovery is recovery...12 step programs are all based the same.There are some relationships that will have to end...my sister for one. It is toxic to me and she is always drunk..I pray for her but cannot let her near me. I will stay close to positive things. I am a pretty strong person. At 50 I realize that I caused the majority of misery in my life...all of the addictions and "problems" are just symptoms...of not loving myself. I know deep down that I am worth it. Being a survivor of abuse has been a huge part of my problem...I must continue therapy...I was so upset when my therapist left...I am supposed to start with the "new' counselor but have been stubborn about it.I am proud of myself today...pain and all. I took a step. And you can kick my a** anytime LOL...Love, S