Over the past few months I have discovered my partner of nearly 15 years has been doing cocaine and other drugs for pretty much our entire relationship. Issues started to rear their ugly head when he moved from social use to addiction around 2 years ago mainly due to building debts to the tune of 30,000. He kept everything from me and it was only a sense of things not being right that kept me digging until he admitted the debt and then recently the addiction to cocaine.
I'm just trying to understand how serious a problem he has. He would spend 150 a time which I understand to be around 3 grams.
I'm struggling with this completely and just trying to get my head around it.
Apologies if this is the wrong forum. I'm totally lost.
I the ho w to. They often explain their own addictions and give helpful advice to family members of an addict a.m sorry to hear this is happened. I am not sure how much cocaine really is. But 3 gram sounds like a lot of anything to me. My sons substances of abuse are usually mass, and etc. That's a lot of money that he is putting your family in jeopardy for in my opinion. This is a great forum for you to look for some help. I'm sure others will respond to you . They often give great advice for family members who might be dealing with similar circumstances.Praying for you and your family. Contact me anytime.
His not being honest with you is a big addiction and reason for you to get free of that relationship as harsh as that sounds. 30 years from now do you want to be saying "if only I..." He will live his life and you need to live yours
Thank you both for taking the time to reply. I had a feeling it was a big problem. He isn't being honest with himself so I know he's not with me.
I know what I need to do but not quite there yet.
I know what I need to do but not quite there yet.
I'm sorry you're going through this. It must have been quite a shock to find out.
You're right in that he's not going to tell you the truth about how much he's using. He's going to minimize his addiction and he'll probably tell you he can stop any time he wants to, but he's just deceiving himself.
When you're ready you've got to decide what's best to do with your relationship.
When you're ready.
Those were the sweetest words I read when I was trying to come to grips with my son's addiction. It took the pressure off me and I was able to think more clearly.
But in the meantime, please protect yourself financially. If there are any joint acct's, credit card accts, separate your name from his. Don't let him have access to your money or any items that were joint purchases. Those debts are going to have to be paid back and you don't want to lose everything you've accumulated because of his addiction. Keep posting.. We all know what you're going through.
You're right in that he's not going to tell you the truth about how much he's using. He's going to minimize his addiction and he'll probably tell you he can stop any time he wants to, but he's just deceiving himself.
When you're ready you've got to decide what's best to do with your relationship.
When you're ready.
Those were the sweetest words I read when I was trying to come to grips with my son's addiction. It took the pressure off me and I was able to think more clearly.
But in the meantime, please protect yourself financially. If there are any joint acct's, credit card accts, separate your name from his. Don't let him have access to your money or any items that were joint purchases. Those debts are going to have to be paid back and you don't want to lose everything you've accumulated because of his addiction. Keep posting.. We all know what you're going through.
Thank you.
The sensible part of me disconnected us financially. Just left working out the emotions side now.
I've been reading up about codependency and its startling how true it is for me and our situation. Trying to reprogram myself so I can think clearly.
So awful that these things exist and cause such devastation. Thank you for your time and words.
The sensible part of me disconnected us financially. Just left working out the emotions side now.
I've been reading up about codependency and its startling how true it is for me and our situation. Trying to reprogram myself so I can think clearly.
So awful that these things exist and cause such devastation. Thank you for your time and words.
