Amity...hell...everyone...I GOT THE PROGRAM:::GOT MY FIRST DOSE OF METHADONE LAST NITE !!!!!!!! ABOUT FKIN TIME AYE ?? LOL LOL !!!! WHAT a relief...;) BUT....it made me sicker than a dog ..he gave me a small dose on top of using...i was kind of a mess last nite...there is high and then there is scary mfkin high..and i was in that category...he gave me it he said to keep me from using until i went back this morning at 0900. Lord...I have NEVER felt this fked up since like the first time I used heroin...vertigo, sick to my stomach..room spinning round...icthing like i have NEVER itched before...and WIDE AWAKE pretty much ALL night...is this normal ? or was I just close to OD status or was this just a good ploy to keep me from using ...well...I think i will ask for a really really low dose until the H is out of my system and I can deal with life....wow...what a wicked feeling...still feeling it this morning...numb in my arms...cold...hot....like wds but not...im such a sissy...but i am really really glad to have a program and a doc who was really nice to me...he's going to work with me..and thats my update for the morning :) Thanks to yoou and all for all your words to keep me trying and not to give up...i feel really good that I might have a chance now at staying ok and getting off the merrigo round for good !
Con dunno why ya got those symptoms.....bit weird maybe yer body was just trying to adjust.Fairplay to ya for getting on a program.........how much did the Doc.give you?Take care Con yer body will take awhile to adjust to the juice........best of luck.........Davey
Hi Eck...I found out why this morning...just a reaction to it...side effects sometimes run badly in about 50 percent of the population he said on this kind of methadone...he put me on a deffrent kind...didnt know it came in variety packs :)...its called poly something...its a cleaner version...worked like a charm...i feel much better and a lot stronger and way more postive about everything...after yesterdays reaction he's starting me out WAYYYY small...10ml on this juice and i can see where i am at tommorow...so far pretty good...big relief :) How are you doing ??
hey Con that's real good news for you.. I'm really pleased that you found a good doctor who is going to work with you rather than just see you as some statistic on their books.. I just know you're going to be one of these people who do really well and will take exactly what's needed for you..
I'm finding it real difficult at the moment but hey nobody said it was going to be an easy ride.. I'd love to find a way to turn off my brain - but that's what got me in this fine mess in the first place.. it's always tomorrow, tomorrow with me.. I started my get clean plan again and am finding it really difficult to stick to.. so far so good today though and that's the only way I can do it at the moment.. it's getting late here now and I'm definitely sticking to the plan for today just hope I can be strong tomorrow too.. I have to be the one who makes the effort for me otherwise I can just forget it.. I have to start taking responsibility for my actions at some stage and really feel like it's make or break at this stage.. it's crazy to think how something that can have such negative effects on our lives is so in control of us.. I hate being so beholden to something so nasty and yet it's so hard to walk away from.. I want to start living again, really living.. enjoying the sunshine, being able to wake up in the morning with a smile on my face rather than feeling sick.. I want a bit of honesty back in my life..
I really hope we can compare how things are in a few months.. coz you've just started your methadone and I've started again.. I've enough to get me through and out the other side.. I know there'll be some bad days when my methadone runs out but hopefully I'll be able to handle them.. I wanted to do it too quickly the last time.. thought I'd be ok on the fourth day by not doing any methadone which was stupid of me.. I know that now though so I'm going to taper myself off it the way Davey said to do it by going down 10 and then 5 etc till it's all gone...
anyway, I'll sign off now.. once again, good on ya, I really am happy for you, things are looking up... you'll be well able for boss hog now..
Davey, Eck, Linz and everybody else - hope you're all in good form.. Eck I can't tell you how jealous I am about your upcoming travels - hope you have a blast..
Arrie XX
I'm finding it real difficult at the moment but hey nobody said it was going to be an easy ride.. I'd love to find a way to turn off my brain - but that's what got me in this fine mess in the first place.. it's always tomorrow, tomorrow with me.. I started my get clean plan again and am finding it really difficult to stick to.. so far so good today though and that's the only way I can do it at the moment.. it's getting late here now and I'm definitely sticking to the plan for today just hope I can be strong tomorrow too.. I have to be the one who makes the effort for me otherwise I can just forget it.. I have to start taking responsibility for my actions at some stage and really feel like it's make or break at this stage.. it's crazy to think how something that can have such negative effects on our lives is so in control of us.. I hate being so beholden to something so nasty and yet it's so hard to walk away from.. I want to start living again, really living.. enjoying the sunshine, being able to wake up in the morning with a smile on my face rather than feeling sick.. I want a bit of honesty back in my life..
I really hope we can compare how things are in a few months.. coz you've just started your methadone and I've started again.. I've enough to get me through and out the other side.. I know there'll be some bad days when my methadone runs out but hopefully I'll be able to handle them.. I wanted to do it too quickly the last time.. thought I'd be ok on the fourth day by not doing any methadone which was stupid of me.. I know that now though so I'm going to taper myself off it the way Davey said to do it by going down 10 and then 5 etc till it's all gone...
anyway, I'll sign off now.. once again, good on ya, I really am happy for you, things are looking up... you'll be well able for boss hog now..
Davey, Eck, Linz and everybody else - hope you're all in good form.. Eck I can't tell you how jealous I am about your upcoming travels - hope you have a blast..
Arrie XX
It's about freakin time is all I'm saying. LOL
Con, good. Although I'd have been afraid out of my wits with all them weird symptoms......oh that itching all over when you're up with it too.......the worse......well not worse than kicking, but hey I'd have been afraid for ya.
At least ya stuck to your guns and it shows you want recovery absolutely I think dear Con..........man, your post sounded like your Birthday, Christmas and all rolled into one............I'm
glad they finally came through, dear Con.
Con, good. Although I'd have been afraid out of my wits with all them weird symptoms......oh that itching all over when you're up with it too.......the worse......well not worse than kicking, but hey I'd have been afraid for ya.
At least ya stuck to your guns and it shows you want recovery absolutely I think dear Con..........man, your post sounded like your Birthday, Christmas and all rolled into one............I'm
glad they finally came through, dear Con.
Hi Arrie, Hi Bryn ! glad to hear both of your voices, been kind of wondering about both of you....missing ya all and all that :)...
I have to say it kind of DOES feel like christmas and my birthday all rolled into one...im feeling really positive about it....still in adjustment mode as far as the dose is concerned ...its not quite enough but i dont want all that much...so its just fine tuning...dont like the line of people i have to stand with but hey...thats the price i guess for the moment...it just feels so damn good to know im finally on my way and i dont have to worry all the time about being sick and scoring and all the other crap that goes with it...i actually gave my wife the last of my bag so she could throw it out...and i threw out the rigs and everythng else this time...ya...feeling good and fine ..thinking im going to finally deal with it and kick it in its butt...i know the meth isnt for everyone but for me...i know ive got to have something or i will end up exactly where i always end up...and this also stops me from trying to replace one for the other...like drinking...cuz i cant do that now and this keeps me sane...though i need just a hair more of the dose...which i will be able to get tommorrow...thats where its going to stasrt getting a bit hairy for me...i cant get to the clinic until tommorow night after work...im going to try if im feeling bad in the morning but it doesnt open unitl 8 and i need to be at work by 830...the clinic is in a town right in between home and work...which is good except for the traffic in the mornings....but like i said...still working out the adjustments and arrangements...im really amazed at how different this doc is compared to the other one..im so damn grateful to God and the Unverse and everyone who has helped me...i really DO feel like a new person...im actually looking forward to finding new work and just...i dont know...like im interested in thngs again...ya...im feeling pretty damn ok guys...
Arrie...if i can do it...i KNOW you can do it...im a total sissy b**** when it comes to pain believe me...just hold on Arrie...get through the icky part...and keep trying to find a doc that will get u on a program...DONT GIVE UP...thats all i can say...just dont freakin give up...Love to you both...and Bryn ?..how are you ? I feel like its always about me and I am never there for you...please dont go away for so long :)...I could never have done this, be where i am at now without your words of support and humor you have given me...:)
I have to say it kind of DOES feel like christmas and my birthday all rolled into one...im feeling really positive about it....still in adjustment mode as far as the dose is concerned ...its not quite enough but i dont want all that much...so its just fine tuning...dont like the line of people i have to stand with but hey...thats the price i guess for the moment...it just feels so damn good to know im finally on my way and i dont have to worry all the time about being sick and scoring and all the other crap that goes with it...i actually gave my wife the last of my bag so she could throw it out...and i threw out the rigs and everythng else this time...ya...feeling good and fine ..thinking im going to finally deal with it and kick it in its butt...i know the meth isnt for everyone but for me...i know ive got to have something or i will end up exactly where i always end up...and this also stops me from trying to replace one for the other...like drinking...cuz i cant do that now and this keeps me sane...though i need just a hair more of the dose...which i will be able to get tommorrow...thats where its going to stasrt getting a bit hairy for me...i cant get to the clinic until tommorow night after work...im going to try if im feeling bad in the morning but it doesnt open unitl 8 and i need to be at work by 830...the clinic is in a town right in between home and work...which is good except for the traffic in the mornings....but like i said...still working out the adjustments and arrangements...im really amazed at how different this doc is compared to the other one..im so damn grateful to God and the Unverse and everyone who has helped me...i really DO feel like a new person...im actually looking forward to finding new work and just...i dont know...like im interested in thngs again...ya...im feeling pretty damn ok guys...
Arrie...if i can do it...i KNOW you can do it...im a total sissy b**** when it comes to pain believe me...just hold on Arrie...get through the icky part...and keep trying to find a doc that will get u on a program...DONT GIVE UP...thats all i can say...just dont freakin give up...Love to you both...and Bryn ?..how are you ? I feel like its always about me and I am never there for you...please dont go away for so long :)...I could never have done this, be where i am at now without your words of support and humor you have given me...:)
Who sounds like a happy camper then????Glad for ya Con you deserve it.......on one of the previous posts on this thread you mistook me for Eckie????sumthin subliminal going on ....or are we that much alike LOL
Take care Ms............Davey
Take care Ms............Davey
did i really ?? Oh my !! Im Sorry !! I cant help it... you sound alike !! lol !!! :) :)
awesome concon--you stuck with it, and lookie here, I am so happy i could cry, wow-i want to postmore but got to get to work, ill catch up later--xoxoxoxoxox
OMG !!!! I just got a NEW JOB OFFER !!! YIPIEEEEEEEE HURRAYYYYYY !!!!! I accepted it of course !! OMG I am SOOO relieved !!!! Away from the **** and his reptile !! Unbelievable !!! Ya know what ? Last week when my friend died and I was really distressed, I asked if I could go home and I was told from the sick twisted a******* that I could go out to my car and cry for a half hour if I needed to but no...couldnt go home...and I was crying...sitting at my desk all day tring not to cry...this guy was one of my best friends...you have no idea how glad i am to GET THE bloody hell OUT OF HERE !!!!!!! WHOOPIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Con, kewl beans..............see how life can come along...........I'm very happy for ya..................things are going well and looking up all around, babes.
Good things do happen to good people.
No flies on you, Sister
Con, kewl beans..............see how life can come along...........I'm very happy for ya..................things are going well and looking up all around, babes.
Good things do happen to good people.
No flies on you, Sister
Hey con, great news hon! You can get away from the b****** of eastwick!!!!
Loks like things are on the up for you, really pleased for you. About time something good happened for you.
Linz x
Loks like things are on the up for you, really pleased for you. About time something good happened for you.
Linz x
Con, I'm so happy for you and for your current run of good fortune...you are finally getting the breaks you deserve. When things start looking up they can really develop momentum.
Peace~MomNMore
Peace~MomNMore
