I made it to a meeting with my friend yesterday and am going again today. I mean I realize that just not using isn't going to work. I was 16 months sober and began to feel worse and worse. I really can't live like this anymore and I know all of the things that don't work, so I guess I'm at my rock bottom now. It may not be the rock bottom of using, but the rock bottom of the thinking that made me use and abuse in the first place. I heard a lot in the meeting that I could relate to. I don't see how I can change my thinking, but if they did it then maybe I can as well. I can't bear the thought of living in this state of mind for the rest of my life. I just wanted to tell you all that I was following through with what I said I would do. Honestly I feel like getting sober was the easier part and now I am faced with the impossible...my negative self. Thanks, CAS.
If someone works the steps with a sponsor as directed in the Big Book it is impossible to not change. No one could do all that work on themselves and not change. I hated the person I had become while using. I am not that person today. Meetings are a great tool but they are not recovery. Recovery is in the steps. Get yourself a sponsor and do the work. You'll feel a lot better about yourself. Honest.
smooch
smooch
| QUOTE |
| I can't bear the thought of living in this state of mind for the rest of my life |
You don't have to.
I'm glad you followed through Cass.I knew you would.Start looking around for a temporary sponsor next time you go.I'm from the school of thought that there's no time like the present to start on the steps.Waiting around until you feel the inspiration was about as effective as waiting around for the right time to get clean.
Good Luck........and don't be a stranger.You can be a big asset here.
Hi CAS...
I'm so glad for you that you took the positive action and went to a meeting...I remember for me, when I first went to AA, I went looking for a way to stay clean & sober and that was my only objective but what I have found by going to meetings, reaching out, finding the right sponsor (I've actually have had a couple) and then working the steps, my whole attitude has changed. I didn't go looking for this but today, by doing the right things and keeping my recovery my first priority, I have happiness, peace and serenity....I am still amazed at all the blessings I have been given and it's there for you too. When I finally surrendered and quite trying to do this my way, I went to a meeting and I prayed to be Honest, Open and Willing and when I remember these 3 things and incorporate them into my life daily, I am rewarded with more than I could ever imagine. Recovery isn't all a bed of roses, there are bad days, there are difficult days, there are sad days, but all in all, everyday is okay and for me, I have to go through the ups and downs to come out the other side okay. I'm with Tim and Kat, find yourself a temporary sponsor and keep going back. For me, I awoke one day, and the lightbulb had went off in my head, the compulsion/obsession to do drugs was lifted and a peace had filled my heart....It's yours for the taking...
God bless
Stacey
I'm so glad for you that you took the positive action and went to a meeting...I remember for me, when I first went to AA, I went looking for a way to stay clean & sober and that was my only objective but what I have found by going to meetings, reaching out, finding the right sponsor (I've actually have had a couple) and then working the steps, my whole attitude has changed. I didn't go looking for this but today, by doing the right things and keeping my recovery my first priority, I have happiness, peace and serenity....I am still amazed at all the blessings I have been given and it's there for you too. When I finally surrendered and quite trying to do this my way, I went to a meeting and I prayed to be Honest, Open and Willing and when I remember these 3 things and incorporate them into my life daily, I am rewarded with more than I could ever imagine. Recovery isn't all a bed of roses, there are bad days, there are difficult days, there are sad days, but all in all, everyday is okay and for me, I have to go through the ups and downs to come out the other side okay. I'm with Tim and Kat, find yourself a temporary sponsor and keep going back. For me, I awoke one day, and the lightbulb had went off in my head, the compulsion/obsession to do drugs was lifted and a peace had filled my heart....It's yours for the taking...
God bless
Stacey
Posted by ms. 12stepper
In two sentences put what I think is my core recovery plan. Though I will say the meetings help keep me balanced and give me "people practice" (I need it, believe me). They also keep me in contact with my sponsors. Helps keep reminding me to "do my homework" (i.e. the Steps).
Thanks.....strange looking cat......
| QUOTE |
Meetings are a great tool but they are not recovery. Recovery is in the steps. Get yourself a sponsor and do the work. You'll feel a lot better about yourself. Honest. |
In two sentences put what I think is my core recovery plan. Though I will say the meetings help keep me balanced and give me "people practice" (I need it, believe me). They also keep me in contact with my sponsors. Helps keep reminding me to "do my homework" (i.e. the Steps).
Thanks.....strange looking cat......
CAS...
Just wondering how you were doing....when you get a moment, let us know how it's going...I've been thinking of you and praying for you....
xoxo
Stacey
Just wondering how you were doing....when you get a moment, let us know how it's going...I've been thinking of you and praying for you....
xoxo
Stacey
