Hi, everybody!
As some of you know, I'm the Mother of a recovering heroin addict.
I'm a proactive person, and continue to do research in order to understand my son's disease - including being here, I think...
It's funny how the idea of "relapse" combines fear & hope at the same time...
I know that relapse is part of the process, and "normal" part of recovery for most addicts (no matter the type). I understand why.
At the same time, knowing my son relapsed now 3 times in the past year, even (after being clean for nearly 8 months at one point), and slipped with alcohol & weed a few times - I begin to wonder - is there a "normal" amount of times relapse, etc., occurs for heroin addicts?
What is it that really FINALLY gets one to stop doing "research," and just get on with the business of living their lives clean?
I know there's no ONE answer, but I'm interested in your thoughts - your experiences...if I may be so bold - even your personal time-lines...
Thanks ahead of time...
I hope my thread hasn't been taken as rude....
I reread it today, and I guess I'm concerned that someone may think that I'm overstepping my bounds - or even that I'm only here for the "research" and not for the fellowship...
Please know that I am simply trying to make sense of something that will never make sense...
I reread it today, and I guess I'm concerned that someone may think that I'm overstepping my bounds - or even that I'm only here for the "research" and not for the fellowship...
Please know that I am simply trying to make sense of something that will never make sense...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, JA you're not rude.................you can ask us anything.......speaking for all of us like I do..........LOL!
You're a mom..................you're concerned............you care.
O.K. here I can tell ya my "time-line"...............I didn't use until I was in my well late 30's..............never did drugs until then.
Of course I tried to kick after months of using...........one of them uh-oh moments...............I didn't even realize I was a heroin addict kicking.........until I used again within ten days.................I put months in several times..........and then finally did a rehab.................and I was clean for a fairly long time..........like I guess a year almost................picked up..............used again for I guess like two years and then finally I mean there gets to be a point it's like that's it.
That's that and it's death or prison.
So, I have like four years clean and four months...............but I never, ever get all full of myself thinking I am "cured"...........I mean I won't use........but I never say never...............hopefully that helped a little and made sense.
Talk about RUDE my mom has company over............dear friends and they are bugging me and trying to put discs in my computer as I type this...........again I hope this helped.
You're a mom..................you're concerned............you care.
O.K. here I can tell ya my "time-line"...............I didn't use until I was in my well late 30's..............never did drugs until then.
Of course I tried to kick after months of using...........one of them uh-oh moments...............I didn't even realize I was a heroin addict kicking.........until I used again within ten days.................I put months in several times..........and then finally did a rehab.................and I was clean for a fairly long time..........like I guess a year almost................picked up..............used again for I guess like two years and then finally I mean there gets to be a point it's like that's it.
That's that and it's death or prison.
So, I have like four years clean and four months...............but I never, ever get all full of myself thinking I am "cured"...........I mean I won't use........but I never say never...............hopefully that helped a little and made sense.
Talk about RUDE my mom has company over............dear friends and they are bugging me and trying to put discs in my computer as I type this...........again I hope this helped.
In the end the answer was right in your own words
Trying to make sense of something that doesnt, canteven with looking at the stories of all the others out there, the time line is so much different.
It involves, the pain felt, bottom hit, that little voice that says well see there look at you, clean for 6 months, 8 months, a yearcome on you are doing so well, lets have a bit of a
And that is that
And in many cases you can almost see the relapse before it even happens as the behavior changes distinctly
This was and always will be his, and he needs to find them answers so he sees where he is the biggest of his problem.
The act of using is just a symptom of something much greater.
And the not using heroin, and something else is part of the pattern as well
Trying to make sense of something that doesnt, canteven with looking at the stories of all the others out there, the time line is so much different.
It involves, the pain felt, bottom hit, that little voice that says well see there look at you, clean for 6 months, 8 months, a yearcome on you are doing so well, lets have a bit of a
And that is that
And in many cases you can almost see the relapse before it even happens as the behavior changes distinctly
This was and always will be his, and he needs to find them answers so he sees where he is the biggest of his problem.
The act of using is just a symptom of something much greater.
And the not using heroin, and something else is part of the pattern as well
Hi Ja , I dont think your being rude...I figure you just want some info and an explanation...unfortunatly the information and explanations are all different...I started using when I was very young...I was 12 or so I think...it started with pills...speed, coke...weed...progressed into heroin by the time I was 22...I hit bottom plenty of times...was arrested a few times...went into the army finally at the age of 26...managed to stay clean until I got out 4 years later...relapsed for about 3 years...didnt use heroin but used everything else...cleaned up and managed to stay clean again for another good 5 or 6 years and then relapsed again and this time went back to heroin about 5 years ago...now im clean again...and i cant tell you if I will or I wont go back to it again...im a functioning addict...i work, have a partner of 17 years, pay rent, have in every way a normal functioning life...except that at varies times in my life I go back to using...I dont think we are ever cured if thats what you are wondering or asking...but I think I can reassure you that most of us can manage if we want to; to live a decent life despite the addiction...its hard sometimes and sometimes some of us dont mange to make it out or even manage to fall back into the hole for awhile...but most of us get back up and get back in there....be gentle with yourself ...your son can only do for himself what he can do ....
Con
Con
Thanks so much for posting....all of you!
I guess I just need to know what to expect (broadly, and generally, of course) so that I can sort of prepare for the emotional roller coaster that I might find myself riding.
It's weird - there's always a sense of....ah oh....when he doesn't call...
The behavior does change a bit. You can hear it in his voice - his attitude...
And I live in the Ah Oh....until he feels better again or resolves (once again) to live the life he's been offered...
I don't know what I'd do without this safe place to rest, question, and learn.
THANKS to all of you!
I guess I just need to know what to expect (broadly, and generally, of course) so that I can sort of prepare for the emotional roller coaster that I might find myself riding.
It's weird - there's always a sense of....ah oh....when he doesn't call...
The behavior does change a bit. You can hear it in his voice - his attitude...
And I live in the Ah Oh....until he feels better again or resolves (once again) to live the life he's been offered...
I don't know what I'd do without this safe place to rest, question, and learn.
THANKS to all of you!
Ah JA you need to find a way not to ride that rollercoaster.
That is kinda the work we need to do for us, as those who watch.
It isnt like we are less any of the insanity, ours is just different.
You dont have to be stuck in limbo riding his ups and down and as the mother of an addict I know it is possible not toThere is still worry, but it isnt all encompassing keeping us from living our lives
Remember it is ok to laugh, have fun, have peace and contentment in our lives, no matter what is going on around usactually we ourselves control where we sit in each dayno one else ever can, or should
Love,
Tina
That is kinda the work we need to do for us, as those who watch.
It isnt like we are less any of the insanity, ours is just different.
You dont have to be stuck in limbo riding his ups and down and as the mother of an addict I know it is possible not toThere is still worry, but it isnt all encompassing keeping us from living our lives
Remember it is ok to laugh, have fun, have peace and contentment in our lives, no matter what is going on around usactually we ourselves control where we sit in each dayno one else ever can, or should
Love,
Tina
