Hi Geri
Haven't touched base with ya in awhile. Hope all is well. Last I remember,you were having some difficulties with your kid. Certainly hope that situation has been getting better.
Unfortunately, one of the reasons I stopped by here is because suddenly I now have a problem with my kid.- - OK , my son is 20 years old ,but I raised him(me and my folks) without any help or input from his mom since he was 3 years old.
Real quick- - I had a argument with his g/f. Who is a little wacky,bossy, manipulative & generally an insecure little beech. She was going through my fridge & pantry and then announced I didnt keep enough food for my son in the house. Imagine the nerve!! I told her that my son was old enough to get in his car & go grocery sh Well ,he took her side & and the next day he packed some things & moved to his mothers home. This not only is hurtful (even though is is an adult) but also concerning as his mother is a active alcoholic. No job- no license to drive- & state assistance to live.
How he thinks its going to a better situation - I don't know. Maybe his mother gets along with this girlfriend of his.
Anyway- this problem reminded me that you were having some issues with your daughter.- I know that things will probably work out but- if you learned anything through your situation and can share -that could be helpful I sure wouldn't mind .
Sorry for the long note- its 4 am here & Im feeling a little low
much peace&respect
jack
I'm going threw a pretty tough time right now too. My best friend who I got sober with went back out. I'm feeling pretty alone right now and feel like I'm doing everything I'm supposed to like praying, calling my sponsor, reaching out, being honest, talking about it in meetings and I still can't get threw it.....I keep reminding myself this to shall pass but it's not passing fast enough...I feel like just giving up. I don't know what to do.
Talk to your Higher Power. If you don't do that, call you sponsor. If you don't HAVE a sponsor, then call someone who's in the program. Or get to a meeting. If you don't HAVE any of the above, that's why you need it. It works if you work it.
Hi Jack,
But first off, welcome Emily...don't quit before the miracle...although I've been right where you've been...and it does pass, but not in our time...for me reaching out to other women on the program helps so much....picking up that phone when it feels so, so heavy...hang on tight...remember it's easier to stay sober than to get sober!
Okay, Jack, about the kid stuff...I have an almost 21 year old who is currently living with my sister and doing pretty good in life...at least I think so...then I've got an almost 17 year old who I've literally been physically, emotionally and spiritually sick over for well over a year...and it pretty much cost me my sanity this past year...so, I've come to a point that if she comes home before curfew fine, if not, then she better have an alternate place to stay, cause the door is getting locked...if she wants any cash or such, she better be sober or nada, if she shows rage, anger and violence towards me or my home, the Police are called...now believe me, I know it's hard not to enable our children, it is very tough...but I've just moved into acceptance of who she is, who she is seeing, what she is doing and have let go and let God....it took a long time for me to get to that point...when she becomes an adult in 13 months and 9 days, she can still live with me under certain conditions: that she goes to school, that she works as well, that she is respectful of me, that she maintains a sober household in my home...if not, get to steppin'....I believe now, as parents, we need to take care of ourselves first...then we can take care of those around us...I've been taught not to react and not to engage with those in my life who are upsetting me....that I leave or they leave....maybe just try to relax and enjoy your alone time...I don't know if this has helped you at all...but it has helped me to get out of myself and reach my hand out to you (albeit virtually)....hope you are feeling better by now. Geri
But first off, welcome Emily...don't quit before the miracle...although I've been right where you've been...and it does pass, but not in our time...for me reaching out to other women on the program helps so much....picking up that phone when it feels so, so heavy...hang on tight...remember it's easier to stay sober than to get sober!
Okay, Jack, about the kid stuff...I have an almost 21 year old who is currently living with my sister and doing pretty good in life...at least I think so...then I've got an almost 17 year old who I've literally been physically, emotionally and spiritually sick over for well over a year...and it pretty much cost me my sanity this past year...so, I've come to a point that if she comes home before curfew fine, if not, then she better have an alternate place to stay, cause the door is getting locked...if she wants any cash or such, she better be sober or nada, if she shows rage, anger and violence towards me or my home, the Police are called...now believe me, I know it's hard not to enable our children, it is very tough...but I've just moved into acceptance of who she is, who she is seeing, what she is doing and have let go and let God....it took a long time for me to get to that point...when she becomes an adult in 13 months and 9 days, she can still live with me under certain conditions: that she goes to school, that she works as well, that she is respectful of me, that she maintains a sober household in my home...if not, get to steppin'....I believe now, as parents, we need to take care of ourselves first...then we can take care of those around us...I've been taught not to react and not to engage with those in my life who are upsetting me....that I leave or they leave....maybe just try to relax and enjoy your alone time...I don't know if this has helped you at all...but it has helped me to get out of myself and reach my hand out to you (albeit virtually)....hope you are feeling better by now. Geri
Gidday Emily
Keep posting and talking it does get better and as you get stronger maybe one day your friend will see what you have and start seeking it again
light and love zac
Gidday VW and Jack
I as they say have it all in front of me like the man with the wheelbarrow in regards to kids as mine are only young...As i read i think about the hindsight that we all have in regards to life and the hindsight that sadly some of the kids are going to have to learn the hard way as i was young once (and still am LOL) and i sometimes new what i was doing was wrong but i wanted to try and change the outcome because my Dad was telling me it was wrong and he pissed me off at the best of times, but i was never going to succeed because i allowed the seed of doubt to be planted...Hindsight isnt it grand
All that can be done is trust in the process and that there learning curve isnt to hard and always be there with love even if it has to be tough at times
light and love zac
Keep posting and talking it does get better and as you get stronger maybe one day your friend will see what you have and start seeking it again
light and love zac
Gidday VW and Jack
I as they say have it all in front of me like the man with the wheelbarrow in regards to kids as mine are only young...As i read i think about the hindsight that we all have in regards to life and the hindsight that sadly some of the kids are going to have to learn the hard way as i was young once (and still am LOL) and i sometimes new what i was doing was wrong but i wanted to try and change the outcome because my Dad was telling me it was wrong and he pissed me off at the best of times, but i was never going to succeed because i allowed the seed of doubt to be planted...Hindsight isnt it grand
All that can be done is trust in the process and that there learning curve isnt to hard and always be there with love even if it has to be tough at times
light and love zac
Amen to that Zac!
Jack, How's it going?
Geri
Jack, How's it going?
Geri
Hi Gerri
Well Im meeting with him over breakfast this Saturday. We will try to talk out the issues like adults. Rules will be laid down if he wants to come back & if he chooses to stay with his mother, well - he always will have his dad.
who cares & loves him over here.
I refuse to have our relationship compromised by his nervy little girlfriend. I think he will understand, but if he continues to be stubborn & hurtful , he will have to learn for himself -thats its not that easy out there without the support & love of your family behind you.
thanks & much peace & respect to you as usual
jack
Well Im meeting with him over breakfast this Saturday. We will try to talk out the issues like adults. Rules will be laid down if he wants to come back & if he chooses to stay with his mother, well - he always will have his dad.
who cares & loves him over here.
I refuse to have our relationship compromised by his nervy little girlfriend. I think he will understand, but if he continues to be stubborn & hurtful , he will have to learn for himself -thats its not that easy out there without the support & love of your family behind you.
thanks & much peace & respect to you as usual
jack
Jack, do you ever sleep? Gosh, you must be exhausted. I am so glad you'll have not only an opportunity to talk to your boy alone, but that you also have time to think about how you want the interaction to go. You sound pretty together about what your boundaries are, and I know you'll find the right way to tell him how you feel. I know you didn't ask for advice, but I'm gonna toss in one little bit anyway - leave that awful girl out of it if you possibly can (I know you know this, but man, it's hard. I made that mistake and it goes nowhere fast.) He's had some time to think and he's willing to talk, so that's a very positive sign.
Sending you good vibes, Jack...always.
~MomNMore
PS Read your other post, too, and I'm glad you're doing something about that other stuff. I think you're hanging in there pretty well, all things considered.
Sending you good vibes, Jack...always.
~MomNMore
PS Read your other post, too, and I'm glad you're doing something about that other stuff. I think you're hanging in there pretty well, all things considered.
Good news Jack, it will all work out just how it is suppose to...I have to constantly remind myself, and it gets easier, that I am powerless over people, places and things. Let me know how it goes, but more importantly, how are you doing?
