the following is from page 417 in the fourth edition of the "big book" of alcoholics anonymous, page 449 in the third edition:
"and acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. when I am disturbed, it is because i find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and i can find no serenity until i accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. nothing, absolutely nothing happens in Gods world by mistake. until i could accept my alcoholism, i could not stay sober; unless i accept life completely on lifes terms, i cannot be happy. i need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."
i would like to give ANYONE here the same permission my sponsor gives me. she tells me that if i feel like getting nasty to someone, am very angry at them, etc., i can call her and tell HER what i really wanted to tell THEM. that way i vent my anger without harming anyone. one of my major motivations to get clean and sober was my strong desire to stop hurting others -- something i don't achieve if i continue, in sobriety, to attack/severely criticize my family, my brothers and sisters in recovery, and so on. the person who loses the most from my criticism is ME, because i'm staying in the behavior of my past instead of acting my way to better thinking today.
so...if someone here pushes your buttons...feel free to write nasty notes to ME, instead,
dsam2u@comcast.net
ill send ya back empathy, hugs and love. and you won't have hurt anyone.
as my grandmother might have said, "such a deal!"
namaste'
sammy
You're the best.
I hope it works......
I hope it works......
SAMMY- AWESOME..thanks for the post..you are so cool..
Sammy,
I do love that idea.....I wonder how full your in-box will be! You'll know if it is a great day on the board when you check your mail and have hundreds of messages......
Your a wonderful person.....don't forget to take care of yourself also....
Tina
I do love that idea.....I wonder how full your in-box will be! You'll know if it is a great day on the board when you check your mail and have hundreds of messages......
Your a wonderful person.....don't forget to take care of yourself also....
Tina
Hi Sammy,
I've never seen anything like this before, lol. If you would had sent this a couple of months ago I probably would had filled your email. I totally understand where you are coming from. I have been getting a little annoyed with somebody on the board and I have been holding my tongue, well fingers. I know when people are nasty it's coming from something within them. So it's not on me anymore if I don't respond to crap here anymore. I won't have to feel guilty about hurting anybody's feelings. That's something I always hated doing. Now I really try and practice if I don't have anything nice to say I will not say anything at all. Although a few times I have lately. But I'm working on it. I hope others will too.
Love,
Liz
I've never seen anything like this before, lol. If you would had sent this a couple of months ago I probably would had filled your email. I totally understand where you are coming from. I have been getting a little annoyed with somebody on the board and I have been holding my tongue, well fingers. I know when people are nasty it's coming from something within them. So it's not on me anymore if I don't respond to crap here anymore. I won't have to feel guilty about hurting anybody's feelings. That's something I always hated doing. Now I really try and practice if I don't have anything nice to say I will not say anything at all. Although a few times I have lately. But I'm working on it. I hope others will too.
Love,
Liz
Liz,
You are doing great. BTW thanks for all the funny emails. I love a good laugh.
Love you,
You are doing great. BTW thanks for all the funny emails. I love a good laugh.
Love you,
Dear Sammy,
Thank you for writing that post, Sammy. From the time I began posting here, your unselfishness to peers, young and old, has never wavered. You are a true person of your word. The last 6 weeks of the semester were rigourous, to say the least. I wanted to take a moment to apologize to you, and all of the people I know, for not being around. And to all of the new members, welcome to this wonderful board and forum, respectively.
Following the end of the semester, I took a long weekend trip to Washington, D.C., to see several sights. I toured the Supreme Court and, while looking at a picture of Mr. Chief Justice MARSHALL, my thoughts turned to you, hoping that all is well.
I hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday. I've missed talking with so many people on this board in the last month or so; however, now that I have a few weeks off, I hope that I can catch up.
I'll send you an e-mail soon. As always, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Ben
Thank you for writing that post, Sammy. From the time I began posting here, your unselfishness to peers, young and old, has never wavered. You are a true person of your word. The last 6 weeks of the semester were rigourous, to say the least. I wanted to take a moment to apologize to you, and all of the people I know, for not being around. And to all of the new members, welcome to this wonderful board and forum, respectively.
Following the end of the semester, I took a long weekend trip to Washington, D.C., to see several sights. I toured the Supreme Court and, while looking at a picture of Mr. Chief Justice MARSHALL, my thoughts turned to you, hoping that all is well.
I hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday. I've missed talking with so many people on this board in the last month or so; however, now that I have a few weeks off, I hope that I can catch up.
I'll send you an e-mail soon. As always, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Ben
you all - m, danny, tina, liz, sharon, ben - you are my heart and like so many who have clicked on this message and the messages that preceded this one, know what is real - love.
we all know this - we know what makes us want to change; what sustains us through our trials and tribulations. we are all in this together and i can't tell you how many times i tried - tried like you wouldn't believe - sometimes acting like a screaming banchee - sometimes being reserved and holding out for that moment to pounce. my motives were wrong.
it doesn't work like that...it is to no avail to tear someone else down in a public forum and air our dirty laundry so all can see. boundaries, tact when dealing with others, was a difficult subject for this addict to learn. while i would never say to let someone steam roll over you, there is a time and place and appropriate behavior for all of us, when speaking of problems we may have with others.
sometimes, more oft than not, it's good to just sit back and breathe. believe me, the answers will come. and may they come with the voice of compassion.
namaste'
sammy
p.s. ben - check it out
http://www.apva.org/apva/marshall_house.php
his home is located right behind the courtroom i spend most of my time in. he is buried just around the corner from me. next time you visit D.C. if you want to make some time to drive 100 miles, i would be more than happy to be your tour guide.
we all know this - we know what makes us want to change; what sustains us through our trials and tribulations. we are all in this together and i can't tell you how many times i tried - tried like you wouldn't believe - sometimes acting like a screaming banchee - sometimes being reserved and holding out for that moment to pounce. my motives were wrong.
it doesn't work like that...it is to no avail to tear someone else down in a public forum and air our dirty laundry so all can see. boundaries, tact when dealing with others, was a difficult subject for this addict to learn. while i would never say to let someone steam roll over you, there is a time and place and appropriate behavior for all of us, when speaking of problems we may have with others.
sometimes, more oft than not, it's good to just sit back and breathe. believe me, the answers will come. and may they come with the voice of compassion.
namaste'
sammy
p.s. ben - check it out
http://www.apva.org/apva/marshall_house.php
his home is located right behind the courtroom i spend most of my time in. he is buried just around the corner from me. next time you visit D.C. if you want to make some time to drive 100 miles, i would be more than happy to be your tour guide.
Dear Sweet Sammy,
What a pleasure it is to know you and have you on this board. Warmest reguads to you. Best wishes to you and your family, hope you all have a Happy Holiday.
God Bless,
What a pleasure it is to know you and have you on this board. Warmest reguads to you. Best wishes to you and your family, hope you all have a Happy Holiday.
God Bless,
Sammy,
Excellent post as always...
Deb
Excellent post as always...
Deb
Sammy, talked to this new therapist tonight and he also recommended AA instead of NA, even though I'm not an alcoholic.
Would you agree with that?
He said that at NA meetings, there is a lot of people picking up on each other, using each other for drugs... that it's not taken as seriously.. At AA he said I could find people with 20years + sobriety and learn more
Would you agree with that?
He said that at NA meetings, there is a lot of people picking up on each other, using each other for drugs... that it's not taken as seriously.. At AA he said I could find people with 20years + sobriety and learn more
Danielle, just from experience, and I've been to both, I'd take AA anyday over NA. I too got "hit on" for pills at a NA meeting. Of course I said no, but it happened. And then, the leader at NA yelled that religion or a higher power had no place in NA and everyone just kind of shut up. That was my last NA meeting. I'll stick with AA.
Hey Sam:
Thank you for posting the excerpt from The Big Book, hopefully your suggestion will not fall on deaf ears. I for one am going to take you up on the option of E-mailing you instead of the character assassination that runs rampant in my self righteous head. The old edition it was page 417, wasn't it? I know it is 449 now and forever ingrained in my thick skull as I must read that over and over as well as 86 and 87 where it says WE DO NOT STRUGGLE. That's a lifesaver for me. So, once again your post brought a smile to my face and let me remember what it truly is about. Thank you my dear friend.
Rachel
Thank you for posting the excerpt from The Big Book, hopefully your suggestion will not fall on deaf ears. I for one am going to take you up on the option of E-mailing you instead of the character assassination that runs rampant in my self righteous head. The old edition it was page 417, wasn't it? I know it is 449 now and forever ingrained in my thick skull as I must read that over and over as well as 86 and 87 where it says WE DO NOT STRUGGLE. That's a lifesaver for me. So, once again your post brought a smile to my face and let me remember what it truly is about. Thank you my dear friend.
Rachel
Great post, as usual, Sammy.
Thank you for that brilliant idea. I'll be writing you soon LOL just kidding -
Hope you have a wonderful holiday season and hope all your wishes come true in the New Year. You deserve it, Sammy - thanks again.
Love,
Marie
Thank you for that brilliant idea. I'll be writing you soon LOL just kidding -
Hope you have a wonderful holiday season and hope all your wishes come true in the New Year. You deserve it, Sammy - thanks again.
Love,
Marie
Danni, I get so much more out of AA. I actually have never been to NA, but I hear it is only about war stories, and those only trigger me. To me, it is the same disease...drugs, pills, booze, sex, food, we are all longing to escape.
I hope you are all well...
Sammy, thank you....
BBBBRRRREEEEAAAATTTTHHHIIINNGGG.
You are an insparation to me.
Kerry
I hope you are all well...
Sammy, thank you....
BBBBRRRREEEEAAAATTTTHHHIIINNGGG.
You are an insparation to me.
Kerry
Sammy as always my inspiration happy holidays hun jackie xxxxxxxxxxxx
Dear Sammy,
Your post was filled with concise words-of-wisdom - as always, my dear friend. Thank you for the link to the site, I will re-direct my way there after I post this message. If you are a fan of Mr. Chief Justice MARSHALL (which you are), take a look at Mr. Justice Joseph STORY [a member of the Court for 34 years (he held the "Masshachusetts Seat")] and, without a doubt, was the closest friend of MARSHALL, CJ.
On my next trip to the District of Columbia, I would be more than happy to drive 100 miles, and would be honored to have you as my tour guide. Though the "District" is small, it encompasses many spectacular sights, i.e.: (1) U.S. Supreme Court (for those of us that are studying law or are just plain interested); (2) The "Mall", (3) The Lincoln memorial, Monticello, etc.; (3) The White House (for those interested in looking at a large, white mansion - from a distance); (4) The Smithsonian; (5) Arlington National Cemetary, et al.
Washington D.C. was the last trip that Kelly and I took before she passed away (on January 10th, 2001), so I travel to D.C. for many sentimental reasons. This is the hardest time of the year for me. When I close my eyes, many of my thoughts and visions defer to Kel in her last days, before she passed. Though I try to remember the "good times," they seem to be compounded by negative images, and the "good times" seem to be few-and-far between.
Although this is the most difficult time of the year for me, I always know that Kel is watching over me. I pray that she watches over you and all of the people on this site. That's how Kel would have wanted it.
Thank you so much for the invitation, Sammy. The next time I plan a trip out of Boston, I'll let you know ahead of time - so we can make arrangements.
If we don't speak, via post or e-mail, I hope you have a wonderful holiday, my dear friend. As always, my thoughts and prayers are with you, your family, and your loved ones. I'll be thinking of you.
Ben
Your post was filled with concise words-of-wisdom - as always, my dear friend. Thank you for the link to the site, I will re-direct my way there after I post this message. If you are a fan of Mr. Chief Justice MARSHALL (which you are), take a look at Mr. Justice Joseph STORY [a member of the Court for 34 years (he held the "Masshachusetts Seat")] and, without a doubt, was the closest friend of MARSHALL, CJ.
On my next trip to the District of Columbia, I would be more than happy to drive 100 miles, and would be honored to have you as my tour guide. Though the "District" is small, it encompasses many spectacular sights, i.e.: (1) U.S. Supreme Court (for those of us that are studying law or are just plain interested); (2) The "Mall", (3) The Lincoln memorial, Monticello, etc.; (3) The White House (for those interested in looking at a large, white mansion - from a distance); (4) The Smithsonian; (5) Arlington National Cemetary, et al.
Washington D.C. was the last trip that Kelly and I took before she passed away (on January 10th, 2001), so I travel to D.C. for many sentimental reasons. This is the hardest time of the year for me. When I close my eyes, many of my thoughts and visions defer to Kel in her last days, before she passed. Though I try to remember the "good times," they seem to be compounded by negative images, and the "good times" seem to be few-and-far between.
Although this is the most difficult time of the year for me, I always know that Kel is watching over me. I pray that she watches over you and all of the people on this site. That's how Kel would have wanted it.
Thank you so much for the invitation, Sammy. The next time I plan a trip out of Boston, I'll let you know ahead of time - so we can make arrangements.
If we don't speak, via post or e-mail, I hope you have a wonderful holiday, my dear friend. As always, my thoughts and prayers are with you, your family, and your loved ones. I'll be thinking of you.
Ben
Little Beach, yesterday the therapist asked me to name one thing that I do to nurture myself.... I couldn't name anything. I'm so busy taking care of other people that I don't take care of "me"....
So I'm going to make going to AA "me" time.... Remind me to start looking it up tomorrow...
So I'm going to make going to AA "me" time.... Remind me to start looking it up tomorrow...
Sammy,
Did you get those last 49 emails I sent ya? Ha!
I love that and acceptance is a difficult lesson for everyone.
If only I could accept life on life's terms.
Dr. Wayne Dyers says,
"When you change the way you look at things,
the things around you change."
When we put on our tinted glasses we are bound to see things
in the shade we have chosen.
I use to get pissy with those who told me things like, "Well why did you
invite that into your life? What were you vibrating to attrack that? ......
It still can peeve me a bit but to a large degree it is true.
People aren't really able to do me wrong unless there is a part of me
which allows them to. I carry the buttons which get pushed. You can't
push it if I don't let you.
To those who find themselves always in the thick of a well played out drama
here or elsewhere in your life I would just ask you to look:
Notice of you are a common denominator in these events.
Try to see what the pay off is for you.
I know you will say but it's not my fault they came after me ................
i say but really what are you gaining out of it?
attention, drama, sympathy, someone listening, THE NEED TO BE RIGHT.
It's yours to figure out. There is a payoff for why the drama is still playing out.
If two people are playing ball and one drops the ball guess what? The game is over.
For everything like that there is something we are to gain by continuing or we wouldn't do it. For every negative trait there is a payoff for why we continue it.
When we understand this it becomes easier to let it go.
Forgive and forget. These two words are keys to living life and finding
real joy.
I watched someone very dear to me hang onto every little thing all her life. And eventually life ate her up. Her health failed and still she could not let go. It was the most painful thing I ever experienced and I was not able to help her in anyway. Her life played out one drama after another until she was worn out and had to let go of this world.
In my life above all I try to do no harm. Sometimes it works, sometimes I fail. Everytime I fail I learn and so I am sorry to those I hurt and thankful for having them be my good teachers.
Adonai,
PM
Did you get those last 49 emails I sent ya? Ha!
I love that and acceptance is a difficult lesson for everyone.
If only I could accept life on life's terms.
Dr. Wayne Dyers says,
"When you change the way you look at things,
the things around you change."
When we put on our tinted glasses we are bound to see things
in the shade we have chosen.
I use to get pissy with those who told me things like, "Well why did you
invite that into your life? What were you vibrating to attrack that? ......
It still can peeve me a bit but to a large degree it is true.
People aren't really able to do me wrong unless there is a part of me
which allows them to. I carry the buttons which get pushed. You can't
push it if I don't let you.
To those who find themselves always in the thick of a well played out drama
here or elsewhere in your life I would just ask you to look:
Notice of you are a common denominator in these events.
Try to see what the pay off is for you.
I know you will say but it's not my fault they came after me ................
i say but really what are you gaining out of it?
attention, drama, sympathy, someone listening, THE NEED TO BE RIGHT.
It's yours to figure out. There is a payoff for why the drama is still playing out.
If two people are playing ball and one drops the ball guess what? The game is over.
For everything like that there is something we are to gain by continuing or we wouldn't do it. For every negative trait there is a payoff for why we continue it.
When we understand this it becomes easier to let it go.
Forgive and forget. These two words are keys to living life and finding
real joy.
I watched someone very dear to me hang onto every little thing all her life. And eventually life ate her up. Her health failed and still she could not let go. It was the most painful thing I ever experienced and I was not able to help her in anyway. Her life played out one drama after another until she was worn out and had to let go of this world.
In my life above all I try to do no harm. Sometimes it works, sometimes I fail. Everytime I fail I learn and so I am sorry to those I hurt and thankful for having them be my good teachers.
Adonai,
PM
Danni, when someone asked me a year ago what I like to do...I couldn't even think of one...
All I knew were pills and beer..
Now I have many things that I enjoy.
It is kinda like being a kid again..
Danni, just stay away from the men in aa...
Watch out for the 13th steppers...
Kerry
All I knew were pills and beer..
Now I have many things that I enjoy.
It is kinda like being a kid again..
Danni, just stay away from the men in aa...
Watch out for the 13th steppers...
Kerry
