Pirate,
I am so happy you made it through such a difficult day! One day at a time....one minute at a time. It really does work.
Thinking of you.
Pirate-Man I am so happy for you.I can't tell you how much guts it takes to expose yourself like that and be as honest as you were.It's easy to have faith and say all the right things when things are going well, but laying it on the line and being vulnerable when things aren't takes a lot of courage.
I'm going to a group tonight in Houston called Sat.Night Live.It's a large group but it's real upbeat.It's more of a celebration and then we have refreshments afterward.I was thinking of blowing it off because I'm just being lazy but your story today has absolutely inspired me.I can't take anything for granted.
I think the message you've shared today is hope and seeing how everyone has rallied around you has given me a new appreciation of this site.Again Brooke,you never cease to amaze me.Thank you for taking the time to do that.
Everyone have a great Sat.evening
I'm going to a group tonight in Houston called Sat.Night Live.It's a large group but it's real upbeat.It's more of a celebration and then we have refreshments afterward.I was thinking of blowing it off because I'm just being lazy but your story today has absolutely inspired me.I can't take anything for granted.
I think the message you've shared today is hope and seeing how everyone has rallied around you has given me a new appreciation of this site.Again Brooke,you never cease to amaze me.Thank you for taking the time to do that.
Everyone have a great Sat.evening
I've been out most of the day and had an engagement that I attended this evening. I'm saddened that you have had such a horrible day! Even more saddened that your spouse has betrayed you!!!
I sincerely hope he is able to look within and see the pain and damaged he has caused his wife! I pray and hope he comes to remorse and asks for your forgiveness. That in time you will be able to forgive him. Marriage is not by any means an easy relationship to fulfill all the promise we dream of and hope for. It takes hard work and sacrifice to nurture it properly. You both have more on your plates than most parents have had to deal with in a lifetime. Which is probably effecting your relationship with each other in negative manner.
I'm so grateful that whatever he said, or did you didn't drink over it. I know you wanted to from your posts. Wanting to do something and choosing to do the right thing despite all your pain is growth, insight and maturity.
It's about 11:00 PM my time. Which means you are hopefully sleeping now. I will pray for strength and comfort for your aching mind and heart. I will pray that you will continue to surrender the beast of bottle to God.
I have used this visionary technique in my mind before, maybe you can see if it will help you. I picture a big red stop sign. I'm standing at the stop sign. I see one road to the left and one road to the right. The left road is the route to drinking and all it's destruction, pain, hell, self loathing, remorse, physical and mental torture for myself and my loved ones. That road is dusty, windy and cold, there are dark clouds. Further down I can see wild beasts holding out beers, wine, cocktails, liquor bottles. It begins raining then hailing there is lightning and thunderstorms. At first when I see the wild beasts everyone is partying and having a real good time. People are laughing, smiling, singing, drinking, eating, flirting.
I'm still standing at the big red stop sign. I look to my left again and see all the people are drunk. The wild beast are eating their flesh. They are screaming, crying, bleeding and begging for relief, help me. The beast drown them and pour and keep pouring more alcohol down their throats. They all quiet down with their pleads of help, but only for a very short time. Then all the screaming and crying start again.
I now look to the right road. From the beginning the route looks different. It is sunny not to hot, a slight breeze. There are magnificent trees of all varieties and sizes. There are flowers of every color, shape and size as well. There is so much greenery and color everywhere. Unique and glorious birdsong, yet soft and soothing. Some are flying about as they stretch out their wings I can see such an array of magnificent color. There is a river that is strong, yet gentle enough for now I see people swimming. The sound of the water is so tranquil and peaceful. There are animals grazing on the rich green grass. They smile at me. The people are waving come this way where there is joy and peace. I now hear and see musicians playing melodies. People are laughing , singing , dancing, drinking strawberry lemonade.
I stop and look again at the big red stop sign. I look again to the right road to see is this real, it is. I look again to the left and I see is that real, it is. I'm know at the a crossroad and I need to make a decision. But, I'm having a hard time. The temptation to relieve my troubled mind, my heartaches will not go away. There is a battle inside of my soul, my spirit. I'm having a very hard time choosing. I then realize I'm losing the battle. I must do something now. But what?
An angel appeared to me and said drop to your knees and pray, the way your Grandma taught you when you were little. So I did. Then the mighty angel of the Lord whispered you don't want to take the left turn, for it surely will lead to hell.
He then whispered take the road to the right they have a 12 step meeting going on and your sure to find some relief in your troubled mind there. When you see the big oak tree with purple and pink monarch's resting, turn right again. You will find the Lord saying read my word, keep praying for others, surrender your troubles to me, don't drink just for today. Keep your heart, mind and eyes turned toward me. One more thing I hand picked Bill W. and Dr. Bob, so read that book to. You will become more willing, open and honest if you stay on the right route. I Love You and if you think this is beautiful wait until you see heaven. Until then enjoy the days here, as best you can. Remember you never are walking alone.
Maybe I should really try this. Maybe we could both try this the next time those thoughts come after us. We can report back to each other. Use are imaginations.
I hope you don't think I'm to off the wall. Because this is my writing gift to you.
Congratulations On Four Months Of Continued Sobriety
You are a miracle! You are such a beautiful person! You are so giving and kind to others! Please Give some of it back to you. Treat your self to something special. You and God have worked hard for this! You deserve it! Your Worth It!
I love you Marie! Thank You, for being my good friend.
Love,
Chris xxx
I sincerely hope he is able to look within and see the pain and damaged he has caused his wife! I pray and hope he comes to remorse and asks for your forgiveness. That in time you will be able to forgive him. Marriage is not by any means an easy relationship to fulfill all the promise we dream of and hope for. It takes hard work and sacrifice to nurture it properly. You both have more on your plates than most parents have had to deal with in a lifetime. Which is probably effecting your relationship with each other in negative manner.
I'm so grateful that whatever he said, or did you didn't drink over it. I know you wanted to from your posts. Wanting to do something and choosing to do the right thing despite all your pain is growth, insight and maturity.
It's about 11:00 PM my time. Which means you are hopefully sleeping now. I will pray for strength and comfort for your aching mind and heart. I will pray that you will continue to surrender the beast of bottle to God.
I have used this visionary technique in my mind before, maybe you can see if it will help you. I picture a big red stop sign. I'm standing at the stop sign. I see one road to the left and one road to the right. The left road is the route to drinking and all it's destruction, pain, hell, self loathing, remorse, physical and mental torture for myself and my loved ones. That road is dusty, windy and cold, there are dark clouds. Further down I can see wild beasts holding out beers, wine, cocktails, liquor bottles. It begins raining then hailing there is lightning and thunderstorms. At first when I see the wild beasts everyone is partying and having a real good time. People are laughing, smiling, singing, drinking, eating, flirting.
I'm still standing at the big red stop sign. I look to my left again and see all the people are drunk. The wild beast are eating their flesh. They are screaming, crying, bleeding and begging for relief, help me. The beast drown them and pour and keep pouring more alcohol down their throats. They all quiet down with their pleads of help, but only for a very short time. Then all the screaming and crying start again.
I now look to the right road. From the beginning the route looks different. It is sunny not to hot, a slight breeze. There are magnificent trees of all varieties and sizes. There are flowers of every color, shape and size as well. There is so much greenery and color everywhere. Unique and glorious birdsong, yet soft and soothing. Some are flying about as they stretch out their wings I can see such an array of magnificent color. There is a river that is strong, yet gentle enough for now I see people swimming. The sound of the water is so tranquil and peaceful. There are animals grazing on the rich green grass. They smile at me. The people are waving come this way where there is joy and peace. I now hear and see musicians playing melodies. People are laughing , singing , dancing, drinking strawberry lemonade.
I stop and look again at the big red stop sign. I look again to the right road to see is this real, it is. I look again to the left and I see is that real, it is. I'm know at the a crossroad and I need to make a decision. But, I'm having a hard time. The temptation to relieve my troubled mind, my heartaches will not go away. There is a battle inside of my soul, my spirit. I'm having a very hard time choosing. I then realize I'm losing the battle. I must do something now. But what?
An angel appeared to me and said drop to your knees and pray, the way your Grandma taught you when you were little. So I did. Then the mighty angel of the Lord whispered you don't want to take the left turn, for it surely will lead to hell.
He then whispered take the road to the right they have a 12 step meeting going on and your sure to find some relief in your troubled mind there. When you see the big oak tree with purple and pink monarch's resting, turn right again. You will find the Lord saying read my word, keep praying for others, surrender your troubles to me, don't drink just for today. Keep your heart, mind and eyes turned toward me. One more thing I hand picked Bill W. and Dr. Bob, so read that book to. You will become more willing, open and honest if you stay on the right route. I Love You and if you think this is beautiful wait until you see heaven. Until then enjoy the days here, as best you can. Remember you never are walking alone.
Maybe I should really try this. Maybe we could both try this the next time those thoughts come after us. We can report back to each other. Use are imaginations.
I hope you don't think I'm to off the wall. Because this is my writing gift to you.
Congratulations On Four Months Of Continued Sobriety
You are a miracle! You are such a beautiful person! You are so giving and kind to others! Please Give some of it back to you. Treat your self to something special. You and God have worked hard for this! You deserve it! Your Worth It!
I love you Marie! Thank You, for being my good friend.
Love,
Chris xxx
Pirate, what an achievement. I am so happy for you. I hope that everything begins to clear and that you have a good day today.
Chris,
That's a lovely vision. It spoke so clearly to me of the beauty of this life and hope for the future that it moves me to tears. I pray to God my ex sees this path one day.
God bless you for this gift.
Martin
Chris,
That's a lovely vision. It spoke so clearly to me of the beauty of this life and hope for the future that it moves me to tears. I pray to God my ex sees this path one day.
God bless you for this gift.
Martin
Thank you all so much guys. I don't know what I would do without you all. You have kept me sober on more than one occassion. I don't feel so bad today . I am going to try my best to try and stay positive and be thankful for what I have. I don't know about you guys but when things go wrong for me I just about panic because I don't have the booze to help calm me. I mean I really go in a spin. It's hard enough trying to get sober but when other major issues are involved it makes it more difficult.I am doing better though because I did not react with rage yesterday like I normally would have . I was in more control and I realized something last night too,that if I were to drink then automatically all the problems would become MY fault. But this time the problem can't be blamed on MY drinking and for that I am grateful.I know there will be dark days and trying times and this is one of those times for me.Until the days get brighter I know I am not alone and for that I have the comfort of my friends ,both on and off the board. I am most grateful and thankful for all your support. I can't express to you guys how much it meant for you all to rally around me the way you did. I really really appreciate it. I will have to ask skg to put up a pic of a bouquet of flowers for you all as a thank you from me. would you do that skg? please lol .Take care all and God bless. Have a happy day.
That's great pirate.....can I suggest you NEVER lose sight of that day...the day you felt you really NEEDED a drink...and you didn't.
And how does THAT feel?
Love,
Martin
And how does THAT feel?
Love,
Martin
