So what to do? She's 24, admitted using pills and heroin... Now suspect of using again... Eyes tell no lies right? (Pin size pupils) But yet mouth does.. Yup she lives at home with what we think a very naive... newly Wed husband, who she has told him about her use. He works, seems normal.. She.. maybe six, eight weeks sober... sleeps (figured depression) for prolonged periods of time.. All, surely someone if not a majority of parents etc. reading this, what to do?
She already walked out of one treatment establishment but yet not brought up to again for another chance...
I get treatment is an option and regularly dismissed, so if that happens what direction to go?
Thank you
MRJB
If she is using, she has to want help or it won't work. Addicts will lie, and steal and do whatever they need to, to get their fix. I used to hear stories and never thought my daughter would do the things other parents were saying. As her disease progressed I realized she is like a bloodhound on a scent went she is using. Nothing, and no one will stand in the way. Boundaries should be set. I told my daughter if she wanted to use drugs she couldn't live in my home. One of the hardest things I ever had to do.
Thank you. We are playing the waiting game now. She's avoiding us due to calling her out on using. Time will tell.
You can offer to go to meetings with her. Get a list of meetings in your area and hand it to her. It's a start. Does or did she have a sponsor? Tell her to give them a call. Have a list of detox centers or day programs listed and hand them to her. Tell her you love her and will help in any way with her recovery. Try to get her to talk to you. This is a start, hope it helps.
Thank you for the reply. We had an intervention with her today after all parties talked. Surprisingly went well. As of now she is starting day 1 of inpatient treatment. She used and admitted, after we all talked. I looked her in her eyes and told her they tell no lies...after I gave her a big hug. Told her to come clean with those taking her. She did just that.
Now I get a lot of things in life, asked her..did she have anything... Of course the answer is...no.. Come to find out she used. No surprise even made a comment about it prior to knowing. It puts me on the fence to sway either way on if she really wants help or if it was her "last" one. What i don't fully get is the lies but wants help.
Now I get a lot of things in life, asked her..did she have anything... Of course the answer is...no.. Come to find out she used. No surprise even made a comment about it prior to knowing. It puts me on the fence to sway either way on if she really wants help or if it was her "last" one. What i don't fully get is the lies but wants help.
Mr. JB,
Glad to hear your daughter wants treatment.
As far as the lies, if she is using that is when they will usually talk to you.They might lie at the time, because their needs (the drug) are being met and they are comfortable. If they are coming down off of their high, and you try to approach them, sometimes they will get defensive and deny and refuse to talk to you. They might be embarrassed about their addiction, or feel that if they relapse they have failed. That is why support systems are valuable. Let them know not everyone succeeds the first time.
Best to your family and your daughter.
Glad to hear your daughter wants treatment.
As far as the lies, if she is using that is when they will usually talk to you.They might lie at the time, because their needs (the drug) are being met and they are comfortable. If they are coming down off of their high, and you try to approach them, sometimes they will get defensive and deny and refuse to talk to you. They might be embarrassed about their addiction, or feel that if they relapse they have failed. That is why support systems are valuable. Let them know not everyone succeeds the first time.
Best to your family and your daughter.
Thank you all for the replies.
Rehab let's you have your cell phone...Are you kidding me... Not my kid...I took it away. Facebook was a connection to obtain drugs. Along with today's traditional means of communication.. The nice thing is if she wants to leave....she has a 24 hour check out procedure.. We will be notified if she wants to leave.
Also learned the MacGyver way to use drugs. Empty tampon cardboard to suck like a straw along with straws. We have yet to toss her room... What else should we look for?
Rehab let's you have your cell phone...Are you kidding me... Not my kid...I took it away. Facebook was a connection to obtain drugs. Along with today's traditional means of communication.. The nice thing is if she wants to leave....she has a 24 hour check out procedure.. We will be notified if she wants to leave.
Also learned the MacGyver way to use drugs. Empty tampon cardboard to suck like a straw along with straws. We have yet to toss her room... What else should we look for?
Mr JB,
I am so happy the facility will notify you once if she decides to check out. I feel it is so important that anyone in treatment or recovery should have an advocate on their behalf. The families who not only are their saftey nets (In a good way) have also,and most probably were the ones standing in the wings ready to help in their recovery.
Lets face it, sometimes people aren't honest even with their treatment. An advocate, without invading privacy laws, could be very helpful in making sure things are being carried out in the proper manner.
As far as what to look for, basically strip the room, if you are looking for drugs. If your daughter wants to use, she will find a way. Not sure how long she will be in teatment, but you can call and speak with a counselor there. They should help guide you on how to help in her recovery once she returns home.
Best to all of you.
I am so happy the facility will notify you once if she decides to check out. I feel it is so important that anyone in treatment or recovery should have an advocate on their behalf. The families who not only are their saftey nets (In a good way) have also,and most probably were the ones standing in the wings ready to help in their recovery.
Lets face it, sometimes people aren't honest even with their treatment. An advocate, without invading privacy laws, could be very helpful in making sure things are being carried out in the proper manner.
As far as what to look for, basically strip the room, if you are looking for drugs. If your daughter wants to use, she will find a way. Not sure how long she will be in teatment, but you can call and speak with a counselor there. They should help guide you on how to help in her recovery once she returns home.
Best to all of you.
Thank you again for the advice and reply.
We learned yesterday one of her friends she has lost contact with is/was on the heroin train. Now her family has to decide when to pull the plug since the seizures have done so much damage to her brain that she is now brain dead. It was by happen chance we got a phone call from the rehab for an update all positive this far and they expressed that we tell her what has happened to a life long friend. She was told. Now if that doesn't keep her clean along with the program and resources available to her...
It's a time game right now.
We learned yesterday one of her friends she has lost contact with is/was on the heroin train. Now her family has to decide when to pull the plug since the seizures have done so much damage to her brain that she is now brain dead. It was by happen chance we got a phone call from the rehab for an update all positive this far and they expressed that we tell her what has happened to a life long friend. She was told. Now if that doesn't keep her clean along with the program and resources available to her...
It's a time game right now.
