Hi to you all hope you are all keeping safe and well.
Hav'nt posted for a few days lot going on.Last Thursday my daughter came to our home crying she had, had enough of living on the street and in hostels when she could get in one,and wanted us to take her back and give her help.
"I'm ready to do it she said ,do'nt want this life any more please help."With fear in our hearts we let her back in,with rules I must add. NO DRUGS, she agreed Friday she wasn't to well,not eating Saturday the same this is without medication mind. Sunday she gave me the slip for ten minutes,and shes been fine ever since . Hasn't taken subatex or anything. Which makes me think that she has used.
Took her shopping yesterday which was Tuesday, and she was caught shoplifting while I was in another shop, and taken to the police station.She therefore has to appear in court next Wednesday.
Getting back to the Heroine surley she would still be suffering if she had been using three bags a day,I think she is leading us up the garden path I feel such a fool for listening.
Lots of love Welsh Lady
Welshlady, if by what a fool you mean yourself.... far from it, you're a mum. Yeah if she was using 3 bags a day and hadn't been using she would be suffering, and you would notice. Everytime i told my mum or my sisters " that is it, i mean it this time", i did mean it!! But, when you're trying to fill that hole in the soul, and it's even worse when you're rattling, it is just so so so so hard to not go and get a bag. By what you said in your post she most prob did go and score when she gave you the slip. I don't know what you're going through, not got kids, but keep the faith, but also think of yourself 1st as when using everyday we don't give a sh*t about who we hurt( hate to say it ... but i didn't)
Wishing you and your daughter all the best, take care, Kev
Wishing you and your daughter all the best, take care, Kev
Hi Welsh lady,
Love is never wrong. In the end it's all that matters. You acted with the best intentions towards someone you love. The rest is out of your hands.
Have you tried Famanon? Or Cardiff Alcohol and Drug Team?
Families Anonymous is a lovely support group made up largely of mothers who have been and are where you are right now. I've been a number of times myself. They meet at Whitchurch hospital which as you probably know is on the Northern outskirts of Cardiff so pretty easy for you to reach. I don't go there often now as my ex's drug of choice is alcohol. I go to Al-anon (which uses identical ideas) whenever I can, often three times a week. I find it very helpful. You can find Family Anonymous's webpage at
http://www.famanon.org.uk/
From their website:
Families Anonymous
When drug addiction enters a family via one of its members, the effect can be devastating. If you have reason to believe or even a vague suspicion that someone close to you may have a drug problem, we know how you feel. We know what it is like to be alone with this problem. We remember the feelings of panic and frustration that resulted from this discovery. We in Families Anonymous have experienced this too.
We use first names only, as this is an anonymous programme. No dues or fees are required. The weekly meetings are regularly held throughout the year. Newcomers are welcome without prior arrangements. You will not be urged to participate in the group discussions, but may join in and ask questions if you wish. We do understand how you feel.
Cardiff Tuesday 7.30pm - 9.00pm
The Board Room, Whitchurch Hospital, Whitchurch, CF14 7XB
Go into the main building and turn right at the end of the Reception desk. The Boardroom is right in front of you. There will be a cup of tea waiting for you.
The next meeting is four days away and the room is full of understanding and supportive friends you just haven't met yet.
2) Cardiff Alcohol and Drug Team
I've been seeing a counsellor for the past 8 months to help me cope with the situation and more lately to help me address my own issues and to heal. In addition, I went to meet a counsellor at Cardiff Alcohol and Drug Team yesterday. I thought they offered information about drugs (which they do) but their main focus is to provide counselling to the families of alcoholics and other addicts. The counsellor I met was great. I have been paying 60 a week for counselling for the past 8 months (which I will continue) and the woman I met at CAT yesterday is every bit as good as my own counsellor but it will cost me (and you) NOTHING to go to CAT for as long as I like. CAT is based at The Infirmary in Cardiff. They have a waiting list of about a month.
Cardiff Alcohol and Drug Team
"We can provide information, one to one professional counselling and signposting to other drug & alcohol, family, or carers support services. We also run a Strenghtening Families service for parents - call for more details."
House 54
Cardiff Royal Infirmary
Newport Road
Cardiff
Wales
CF24 OSZ
Find us here
Office telephone: 02920 468 555
As I said before, we're all on a journey and these people make good companions.
I know not everyone in South Wales remembers Churchill with fondness, but here's something he said that might be relevant:
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal, what counts is the courage to continue."
Love is never wrong. In the end it's all that matters. You acted with the best intentions towards someone you love. The rest is out of your hands.
Have you tried Famanon? Or Cardiff Alcohol and Drug Team?
Families Anonymous is a lovely support group made up largely of mothers who have been and are where you are right now. I've been a number of times myself. They meet at Whitchurch hospital which as you probably know is on the Northern outskirts of Cardiff so pretty easy for you to reach. I don't go there often now as my ex's drug of choice is alcohol. I go to Al-anon (which uses identical ideas) whenever I can, often three times a week. I find it very helpful. You can find Family Anonymous's webpage at
http://www.famanon.org.uk/
From their website:
Families Anonymous
When drug addiction enters a family via one of its members, the effect can be devastating. If you have reason to believe or even a vague suspicion that someone close to you may have a drug problem, we know how you feel. We know what it is like to be alone with this problem. We remember the feelings of panic and frustration that resulted from this discovery. We in Families Anonymous have experienced this too.
We use first names only, as this is an anonymous programme. No dues or fees are required. The weekly meetings are regularly held throughout the year. Newcomers are welcome without prior arrangements. You will not be urged to participate in the group discussions, but may join in and ask questions if you wish. We do understand how you feel.
Cardiff Tuesday 7.30pm - 9.00pm
The Board Room, Whitchurch Hospital, Whitchurch, CF14 7XB
Go into the main building and turn right at the end of the Reception desk. The Boardroom is right in front of you. There will be a cup of tea waiting for you.
The next meeting is four days away and the room is full of understanding and supportive friends you just haven't met yet.
2) Cardiff Alcohol and Drug Team
I've been seeing a counsellor for the past 8 months to help me cope with the situation and more lately to help me address my own issues and to heal. In addition, I went to meet a counsellor at Cardiff Alcohol and Drug Team yesterday. I thought they offered information about drugs (which they do) but their main focus is to provide counselling to the families of alcoholics and other addicts. The counsellor I met was great. I have been paying 60 a week for counselling for the past 8 months (which I will continue) and the woman I met at CAT yesterday is every bit as good as my own counsellor but it will cost me (and you) NOTHING to go to CAT for as long as I like. CAT is based at The Infirmary in Cardiff. They have a waiting list of about a month.
Cardiff Alcohol and Drug Team
"We can provide information, one to one professional counselling and signposting to other drug & alcohol, family, or carers support services. We also run a Strenghtening Families service for parents - call for more details."
House 54
Cardiff Royal Infirmary
Newport Road
Cardiff
Wales
CF24 OSZ
Find us here
Office telephone: 02920 468 555
As I said before, we're all on a journey and these people make good companions.
I know not everyone in South Wales remembers Churchill with fondness, but here's something he said that might be relevant:
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal, what counts is the courage to continue."
Hi Sweetie
Don't be hard on yourself, she's your daughter and you love her. I know how hard it is and i've done exactly the same myself and so have all of us mum's at one time or another. This is all part of your journey and unfortunately we all have to go through this process before we get to the stage where we realise the only kind of love that really does help our "addicted kids" is TOUGH LOVE. I know it seems easy enough to say but its the hardest thing we ever have to do as it goes against every maternal instinct we have as mother's. You can't beat yourself up though, like I said she's your little girl and they really are so good at convincing us they really do want to get clean. I do believe that in their hearts they do want it, but not quite enough to fight the demon Heroin who is still in control of their minds and hence their lives. Its only when they really hit rock bottom for a while and have to live with the consequences of their actions that they really DO want to get their lives back on track. Try and look beyond the Heroin and she that your daughter is still "in there" somewhere its just that she's not yet strong enough to break free.
Unfortunately by letting her come back home you only enable her to continue her habit, only without suffering any of the hardship which this disease brings. Did you notice how when she was back in your everyday life how the desease spreads through your life and family.
This is just another little blip and there will im afraid be many more, so hang on in there honey and don't ever give up hope. I haven't posted for a little while and its been my first week back to work after being off with bronchitis - great!!! We all have periods like this but remember to have faith and if nothing else we all have each other here on the board ............. and these guys are the best!!!
Take care and keep the love in your heart my fine Welsh lady
Love & hugs to you
Christina xxx
Don't be hard on yourself, she's your daughter and you love her. I know how hard it is and i've done exactly the same myself and so have all of us mum's at one time or another. This is all part of your journey and unfortunately we all have to go through this process before we get to the stage where we realise the only kind of love that really does help our "addicted kids" is TOUGH LOVE. I know it seems easy enough to say but its the hardest thing we ever have to do as it goes against every maternal instinct we have as mother's. You can't beat yourself up though, like I said she's your little girl and they really are so good at convincing us they really do want to get clean. I do believe that in their hearts they do want it, but not quite enough to fight the demon Heroin who is still in control of their minds and hence their lives. Its only when they really hit rock bottom for a while and have to live with the consequences of their actions that they really DO want to get their lives back on track. Try and look beyond the Heroin and she that your daughter is still "in there" somewhere its just that she's not yet strong enough to break free.
Unfortunately by letting her come back home you only enable her to continue her habit, only without suffering any of the hardship which this disease brings. Did you notice how when she was back in your everyday life how the desease spreads through your life and family.
This is just another little blip and there will im afraid be many more, so hang on in there honey and don't ever give up hope. I haven't posted for a little while and its been my first week back to work after being off with bronchitis - great!!! We all have periods like this but remember to have faith and if nothing else we all have each other here on the board ............. and these guys are the best!!!
Take care and keep the love in your heart my fine Welsh lady
Love & hugs to you
Christina xxx
