drinking again last night - feel cr***y this morning but trying to stay positive none-the-less.
What I am trying does not seem to be working for me for any length of time. I know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Therefore I'm willing to try just about anything. I am desperate. I want to be sober I want to stay sober. I want to beat this.
should I do 90 meetings in 90 days. I will consider any and every suggestion.
I come here and read the posts and post back - I want to be sober yet I still drink. I am missing some vital ingrediant here. Please help.
Idgie
Hey there girlfriend! I don't know if I can be of much help, I have never gone to any meetings, nor have I done any counselling. Sometimes we just have to find our own paths, and I know that AA has done wonderful things for people, but sometimes it just doesn't work for some. Have you checked out the Smart Recovery web page? it's an interesting concept, I have followed alot of what they have suggested. the web page I think is www.smartrecovery.com
Have a great night, I'll be on line for awhile then I gotta go doggie sitting!
Big Hugs
lovedove
Have a great night, I'll be on line for awhile then I gotta go doggie sitting!
Big Hugs
lovedove
Hi Idgie, I know how hard this is, believe me I know...I'd start the day off something like this...okay, I'm not gonna drink or stop by the Dealer's today. I'd mark a 1 (I'd never get to 2) in my planner for one day without drugs and alcohol...then before I knew it I would get off work, start jonesin' and my car was on auto-pilot to a liquor store (I had 7 that I frequented because I didn't want them to think I had a problem if I went to the same store every day) and then amazingly there I sat at the Dealer's house. For me, I had to fully embrace the 12 step program philosphy. I got a Sponsor at my very first meeting (and I still have the same one today) and I probably did over 200 meetings in 90 days. But I was on disability...so I was able to do that...it is highly recommended fby those on the Program, to get a sobriety date and keep it, get a Sponsor, attend meetings daily ~ find a home group, and get started on the Steps. However, there are various methods that are keeping people sober besides AA...and you have to work with whatever works for you. I hope you are feeling better today.
(((hugs))) love dove.
VWGirl - yes I always start out the morning with good intentions but they don't last.
Oh you were lucky on disability. I was just thinking about that this morning how I would love to be able to not worry about work for a few weeks and just focus on nothing but recovery. I don't have that option unfortunately I would lose my job. My boss is of the stiff upper lip - deal with it variety. He really has no understanding of addiction or mental illness/mental struggles which is kind of surprising as his son committed suicide of a drug overdose about 4 years ago. He took one day off work to go to the funeral.
So yes I would be willing to immerse myself in AA meetings but it will mean virtually not doing anything else in my free time for 90 days or so. Not that I have such a busy social life anyway, but I do do SOME things.
However, if that is what its going to take then that is what I will have to do. Cripes I really relate to that comment about the bottle shops - I do that too!! For a while I was mail-ordering cases of wine so I didn't have to face anybody buying my liquor. But that just made me drink even more so I gave that up.
Well I think you are right VWGirl - immersion. Every minute of my spare time devoted to meetings, reading, spiritual development all that good stuff. Now I need to spend a little time thinking and praying.
thank you.
Idgie
VWGirl - yes I always start out the morning with good intentions but they don't last.
Oh you were lucky on disability. I was just thinking about that this morning how I would love to be able to not worry about work for a few weeks and just focus on nothing but recovery. I don't have that option unfortunately I would lose my job. My boss is of the stiff upper lip - deal with it variety. He really has no understanding of addiction or mental illness/mental struggles which is kind of surprising as his son committed suicide of a drug overdose about 4 years ago. He took one day off work to go to the funeral.
So yes I would be willing to immerse myself in AA meetings but it will mean virtually not doing anything else in my free time for 90 days or so. Not that I have such a busy social life anyway, but I do do SOME things.
However, if that is what its going to take then that is what I will have to do. Cripes I really relate to that comment about the bottle shops - I do that too!! For a while I was mail-ordering cases of wine so I didn't have to face anybody buying my liquor. But that just made me drink even more so I gave that up.
Well I think you are right VWGirl - immersion. Every minute of my spare time devoted to meetings, reading, spiritual development all that good stuff. Now I need to spend a little time thinking and praying.
thank you.
Idgie
She's right...you have to immerse yourself in the program.
Getting a sponsor is going to make you accountable to someone. You will be a bit more grounded..with someone to guide you. You will have to call them everyday...which helps with the accountability
You can 't be around AA, you have to be in the middle of it.
I found that getting a sponsor swept me up in the current of AA (kinda like a guide on a white water rafting trip) without her I was just kinda swirling around .....not knowing how to navigate the unfamilar waters.
Good luck..we are always here for you.
Sending you good sober energy.
C
Getting a sponsor is going to make you accountable to someone. You will be a bit more grounded..with someone to guide you. You will have to call them everyday...which helps with the accountability
You can 't be around AA, you have to be in the middle of it.
I found that getting a sponsor swept me up in the current of AA (kinda like a guide on a white water rafting trip) without her I was just kinda swirling around .....not knowing how to navigate the unfamilar waters.
Good luck..we are always here for you.
Sending you good sober energy.
C
thanks for the practical advice Avondale girl.
Can you or others tell me the guidelines for a sponsor? How does it work? Are there restrictions on who can be a sponsor or who you can ask? I'm kind of scared or breaking some unwritten rule I guess.
My self-confidence is low right now.
Also does it have to be same-sex? Not many women in the AA groups I've been to so far.
Can you or others tell me the guidelines for a sponsor? How does it work? Are there restrictions on who can be a sponsor or who you can ask? I'm kind of scared or breaking some unwritten rule I guess.
My self-confidence is low right now.
Also does it have to be same-sex? Not many women in the AA groups I've been to so far.
Hey Idgie!
Hows things,
Lovely day in sunny Brissie today, I just went to Big W bought a microwave, (as wife moved out last week) got it 60 % off which I thought was good, pluggged it in, It dont work~!!!!
Buggar cant be stuffed driving back down,
Idgie I went to my doc when I stopped drinking, she sent me to a drug and alcohol centre at the local hospital, which at the time I thought yeah right this is going to work for me..not!
But it did, one on one with a phycoligist, which I wasnt very comfortable with for the first few times but I did get comfortable in the end and really looked foward to going in there, Im15 1/2 mths down the track now and I still call or go in every 2 mths or so,
But also they put me on medication, Naltrexone, and Campral these really do help to stop the cravings believe me, Hey they worked for me and I was no casual drinker, I went from my 3 or so cartons of beer plus my all nighters all dayers! to Nothing with the help of My phycoligist and the medication,
Not for everyone, but heres my email if you want to know more
gingeginge@hotmail.com
Take care and remember 1 drink is to much 1000 drinks not enough, well that me anyway,
Bye Ginge
Hows things,
Lovely day in sunny Brissie today, I just went to Big W bought a microwave, (as wife moved out last week) got it 60 % off which I thought was good, pluggged it in, It dont work~!!!!
Buggar cant be stuffed driving back down,
Idgie I went to my doc when I stopped drinking, she sent me to a drug and alcohol centre at the local hospital, which at the time I thought yeah right this is going to work for me..not!
But it did, one on one with a phycoligist, which I wasnt very comfortable with for the first few times but I did get comfortable in the end and really looked foward to going in there, Im15 1/2 mths down the track now and I still call or go in every 2 mths or so,
But also they put me on medication, Naltrexone, and Campral these really do help to stop the cravings believe me, Hey they worked for me and I was no casual drinker, I went from my 3 or so cartons of beer plus my all nighters all dayers! to Nothing with the help of My phycoligist and the medication,
Not for everyone, but heres my email if you want to know more
gingeginge@hotmail.com
Take care and remember 1 drink is to much 1000 drinks not enough, well that me anyway,
Bye Ginge
thanks for the suggestions Ginge.
Hey must have been one of those New Zealand microwaves LOL.
Mine is only 4 years old and already the digital display is broken, now there's only about 5 dots still on th LCD display so you have no idea how much longer something has to cook and you can't tell the time - useless.
Hey must have been one of those New Zealand microwaves LOL.
Mine is only 4 years old and already the digital display is broken, now there's only about 5 dots still on th LCD display so you have no idea how much longer something has to cook and you can't tell the time - useless.
Idgie,
Even if you do go to AA which is great for most people might I suggest some sort of Therapy. I agree with Ginge. Until I knew why I was drinking...and I'm not talking the superficial physical addiction crap, I mean the deep down, childhood trauma crap, I never could quit. Once I understood better why I was doing things...it made it easier to deal with. I have done AA before and right now I am not but I see a therapist and it is really helpful for me. We sometimes don't realize that things in our past especially childhood changes who we are. At least it did for me. Keep your chin up and know you are in my thoughts! {{{{{{{{{ Hugs to you from me}}}}}}}}
Peace and Positivity.......a million mile journey begins with one step.
Valarie
Even if you do go to AA which is great for most people might I suggest some sort of Therapy. I agree with Ginge. Until I knew why I was drinking...and I'm not talking the superficial physical addiction crap, I mean the deep down, childhood trauma crap, I never could quit. Once I understood better why I was doing things...it made it easier to deal with. I have done AA before and right now I am not but I see a therapist and it is really helpful for me. We sometimes don't realize that things in our past especially childhood changes who we are. At least it did for me. Keep your chin up and know you are in my thoughts! {{{{{{{{{ Hugs to you from me}}}}}}}}
Peace and Positivity.......a million mile journey begins with one step.
Valarie
Val - thanks for the advice. I must say therapy is not something that's ever appealed to me. However, I did say I would openly consider every suggestion so I will take your comments on board and give them serious consideration.
I have to look at every option now.
thanks and have a good weekend
Idgie
I have to look at every option now.
thanks and have a good weekend
Idgie
Hi Idgie! Hope you're feeling better, i've been thinking about you. I've been there too, we all have. The thing that i always figure out after a little escapade is i really do want to be sober. Then when i start feeling good again, my alcoholic brain says, man, a beer would be good, and if i give in, i'm off on another binge. Honestly, this last one scared the hell out of me. I'm finally feeling "good" today, and have great intentions, but Friday is tough for me. Sorry i don't have much to offer as far as advice right now, but just wanted you to know, i'm here for you;)
P.S. Just emailed you too;) Hang in there!
P.S. Just emailed you too;) Hang in there!
Hey Idgie usually a sponsor is same sex cause if you are like me then your addiction is anything that feels good:) and that is why i've never gone to sex addiction meetings just fu**s my addictive thinking alone space up to much in my head. Also beware of the superficial addiction crap because it can kill people before they have a chance to sort anything else out. And i also should add i do not have a sponsor and never have as i have used the meetings an feedback.
Hey the microwave must be Auzzy made because anything NZ made are the only things that work in auzzyLOL
Try whatever you have to to stay sober there is an total abstinance based recovery centre in Canowindra (near Orange) 3-4 hours drive from Sydney called Lyndon House and people pay for there stay out of whatever benefit they are on and by doing chores. As well there are councillors and group and individual sessions all in house i don't know for how long but one ph call would answer any questions.
I know for me anything that is beneficial to my recovery is tried here they are in order rockbottom
1 week in institution as to scared to go out cause i wanted to drik
5 weeks in atotal abstinance based AA recovery centre(NZ)
Spiritual coucillor who showed me i was not evil
Scared s***less in real world and talking at AA meetings, because i had been brought up to believe what happened at home stayed at home so all my fears and emotions about life were driven inwards, now at AA meetings i had an outlet and i used it.
Self belief
Family
Posting on this site
Idgie work, relationships and life mean nothing if we are unhappy and yes sobriety isn't instant happiness but it is a fu**in good start.
Be proud of all you have done Idgie you have got the theory side licked nows the time for the practical and i know you can do it. Addiction is cunning but you can kick it's a**.
Light and love Zac
Hey the microwave must be Auzzy made because anything NZ made are the only things that work in auzzyLOL
Try whatever you have to to stay sober there is an total abstinance based recovery centre in Canowindra (near Orange) 3-4 hours drive from Sydney called Lyndon House and people pay for there stay out of whatever benefit they are on and by doing chores. As well there are councillors and group and individual sessions all in house i don't know for how long but one ph call would answer any questions.
I know for me anything that is beneficial to my recovery is tried here they are in order rockbottom
1 week in institution as to scared to go out cause i wanted to drik
5 weeks in atotal abstinance based AA recovery centre(NZ)
Spiritual coucillor who showed me i was not evil
Scared s***less in real world and talking at AA meetings, because i had been brought up to believe what happened at home stayed at home so all my fears and emotions about life were driven inwards, now at AA meetings i had an outlet and i used it.
Self belief
Family
Posting on this site
Idgie work, relationships and life mean nothing if we are unhappy and yes sobriety isn't instant happiness but it is a fu**in good start.
Be proud of all you have done Idgie you have got the theory side licked nows the time for the practical and i know you can do it. Addiction is cunning but you can kick it's a**.
Light and love Zac
Zac, You reminded me that what goes on at home, stays at home...that's how I was raised too...I hadn't thought about that in a long time. It is really good to have meetings where I am safe to share about what's really going on with me. Hope you are doing well today (or tonight?).
Hey VWGirl sweet as yeah i'm doing fine winter is alive and well in NZ and my wife is out shopping and the kids are cruisin . Best of all i'm sober today and breaking the cycle of addiction that has caused so much chaos in my family. Hey VW thanks again for being you the warmth in your heart shows in you smile keep up the good work and be proud of all you have achieved in sobriety:)
Light and love Zac
Light and love Zac
