Okay, so I made it through the Thanksgiving holiday with a few needy thoughts, some self-flagellation, and some smug serenity, but it's not all good. I'm ready to do the 5th Step and will probably get to it this week. :)
So I'm sitting in a group meeting that's not my 'home group' on Saturday and again on Sunday. I'm supposed to chair this meeting the month of December and I'm pretty familiar with the group's traditions, most of which are the same as any OTHER AA meeting I've been to...
So it flies all over me when this new chairperson decides to omit the 12 Traditions in reading. Okay, I can accept that. It's up on the wall and everyone can read it who wants to... So then he comes up with a subject after completely trashing the introduction to the meeting and so now The Producer is getting wound up. And he determines that he's going to talk about his problems with a Higher Power and will "Round Robin," the room that is, he'll select the people he wants to talk and they'll select people THEY want to share, etc. And THEN he interrupts the meeting, redirects the sharing, and targets the younger, attractive, more wobbly women in the room. So The Executive Producer's churning by now! This guy's been in and out of the rooms 5 or 6 times, back in THIS one since August, (I find this out on Sunday) and has successfully stomped all over my sobriety. I needed a meeting after my meeting, for HP sake!
Okay, I know, I know, I got over it. I left the room for a bit, regained my composure, and thought of the Reflections for the day. It just took me by complete surprise that my shortcomings would flare up like that.
Just thought I'd share.
Hi SKG,
Yes it can be difficult dealing with the various personality types that show up at meetings. In fact, if anything puts me off going to meetings it's some of the people who show up and often 'share' about anything except how alcohol has affected them. One guy took up twenty minutes talking about how the best way to pull a woman is take your dog to the park - apparently us gals can't resist a man with a pooch! So I sometimes find myself thinking is this going to be the rest of my life..............???
I don't know who said this maybe Zac or Cookster but going to the meetings and taking your good from them is key irrespective of the obligatory gobs***es who show up and like doing things their way. Some meetings are better than others in my experience but I guess keep focused on the higher good.....
And belated Happy Thanksgiving!!
Yes it can be difficult dealing with the various personality types that show up at meetings. In fact, if anything puts me off going to meetings it's some of the people who show up and often 'share' about anything except how alcohol has affected them. One guy took up twenty minutes talking about how the best way to pull a woman is take your dog to the park - apparently us gals can't resist a man with a pooch! So I sometimes find myself thinking is this going to be the rest of my life..............???
I don't know who said this maybe Zac or Cookster but going to the meetings and taking your good from them is key irrespective of the obligatory gobs***es who show up and like doing things their way. Some meetings are better than others in my experience but I guess keep focused on the higher good.....
And belated Happy Thanksgiving!!
Hi Ruth.
Yeah, I know, I know. It just flew all over me that #1, I still have this stuff coming up and, #2, that I allowed it to get to me and, #3, that despite my perception of my progress, my alcoholic thinking can snatch my serenity in an instant. Disappointed in myself--and that's the juice talking AGAIN! Grrr! 'Tis a subtle foe, this disease...
So how are YOU doing? I think my account has my website which has my e-mail on it if you want to yak. the "willingness" to make amends is sometimes more powerful than saying that, "I'm sorry," because they've all heard it a hundred times previous. Simply living a more serene lifestyle speaks volumes about me--and (at least in my case) actions speak louder than words.
My Brother-In-Law brought his family down for the holidays and we spent 3 days together. Usually we'd have been drunk the entire time. It was peaceful and enjoyable for the first time. For that I am thankful. I doubt we'd even have gotten together had I still been drinking. I'd have come up with some sort of excuse. The Mother In Law didn't make it--that was a good (God) thing, methinks. I need a bit more sobriety under my belt for that!
Be good--you seem to be doing so well--certainly a lot less frazzled than a few short weeks ago!
S
Yeah, I know, I know. It just flew all over me that #1, I still have this stuff coming up and, #2, that I allowed it to get to me and, #3, that despite my perception of my progress, my alcoholic thinking can snatch my serenity in an instant. Disappointed in myself--and that's the juice talking AGAIN! Grrr! 'Tis a subtle foe, this disease...
So how are YOU doing? I think my account has my website which has my e-mail on it if you want to yak. the "willingness" to make amends is sometimes more powerful than saying that, "I'm sorry," because they've all heard it a hundred times previous. Simply living a more serene lifestyle speaks volumes about me--and (at least in my case) actions speak louder than words.
My Brother-In-Law brought his family down for the holidays and we spent 3 days together. Usually we'd have been drunk the entire time. It was peaceful and enjoyable for the first time. For that I am thankful. I doubt we'd even have gotten together had I still been drinking. I'd have come up with some sort of excuse. The Mother In Law didn't make it--that was a good (God) thing, methinks. I need a bit more sobriety under my belt for that!
Be good--you seem to be doing so well--certainly a lot less frazzled than a few short weeks ago!
S
Gidday Skg and Ruth
Aint meetings grand......they help me through everyday situations in a safe place and when i work out what was disturbing me then i can have tools in place for when it happens in the supermarket across the road from the off licence.
I used to work to routines and if the routine was disturbed then my wheels fell off and i must admit having kids certainly cured me of that at home anyway, now i tend to bounce from situation to situation good or bad.
I used to think that my share at a meeting would drop jaws and have people crying and then they would choose a topic.....bugga.....
We had a guy at a meeting who talked about his walk for the day one F...ing step at a time and this pis#ed me off until i learnt his head injury was due to Alcohol and an accident.....there but for the grace of God go I.
And also i learnt that I am not the centre of the meeting, i am going to have to practise patience, and as long as i share freely and honestly any of my experience, strength and hope can be incorporated in a topic.
And i kept going to meetings and yes there are the pis# takers and 13th steppers but hey in early recovery i was a person who didnt go to a 12 step meeting on sex because i thought it would be a great place to pick up a friend......sick minds get better at meetings and that is why i need to go.
I used to get annoyed if i didnt get to share at a meeting now i just sit and soak up the safeness, gratitude, experience, strength, hope and at times patience and for this i am grateful that i can learn about life and become a better person allround.
Great post Skg
light and love Zac
Aint meetings grand......they help me through everyday situations in a safe place and when i work out what was disturbing me then i can have tools in place for when it happens in the supermarket across the road from the off licence.
I used to work to routines and if the routine was disturbed then my wheels fell off and i must admit having kids certainly cured me of that at home anyway, now i tend to bounce from situation to situation good or bad.
I used to think that my share at a meeting would drop jaws and have people crying and then they would choose a topic.....bugga.....
We had a guy at a meeting who talked about his walk for the day one F...ing step at a time and this pis#ed me off until i learnt his head injury was due to Alcohol and an accident.....there but for the grace of God go I.
And also i learnt that I am not the centre of the meeting, i am going to have to practise patience, and as long as i share freely and honestly any of my experience, strength and hope can be incorporated in a topic.
And i kept going to meetings and yes there are the pis# takers and 13th steppers but hey in early recovery i was a person who didnt go to a 12 step meeting on sex because i thought it would be a great place to pick up a friend......sick minds get better at meetings and that is why i need to go.
I used to get annoyed if i didnt get to share at a meeting now i just sit and soak up the safeness, gratitude, experience, strength, hope and at times patience and for this i am grateful that i can learn about life and become a better person allround.
Great post Skg
light and love Zac
