I know that recovery is very tricky with denial and all but i seem to think i am trying im not using but for some reason i cant bring myself to join a home group what is it that i am so scared of help?
It can be diffcult to find a homegroup. I've been sober for 13 years and I can tell you the perfect homegroup does not exist. There could be at least two possible explanations for your reluctance: 1) feeling diconnected from the people you have encountered at the meetings you have attended or; 2) a fear of commitment. If it turns out that number one is true than my suggestion is to find a meeting you can "tolerate" and connect with at least one person who can sponsor you. As it was explained to me, "Until one starts to participate in the program one will never feel like a member". This is true because meeting can be very intimidating. Alot of people in AA can be a bit arrogant about their time sober and seem a bit distant. But have you really made an effort to talk with people? Don't get me wrong opening up can be excruciating but it can save your life. Also if you are female stick with the females. I am male and I can tell you that at this point in the game things may be confusing and you want to make sure the messages you are getting are genuine and nothing can confuse the message like physical attraction. Let's be honest, AA doesn't always attract people with the most noble of intentions. Of course the same can be said about every organization, but at least in the case of AA (because you can expect tht many people are not at the top of their game), you know what to expect.
Cause number two for your reluctance is very common amoung us recovering drunks. Alcoholics have a neurotic (by which i mean irrational) but no less real fear of being exposed and of commitment. Both fears stem from a similar cause and many of us drank and did the things we did to escape this fear. The fear was there before you drank and now it has resurfaced because you have removed the solution to that fear, the drink. AA recovery is three fold (meetings, service, and step work), and meetings are only one part. Meetings can be great and meetings can be awful. What I'm saying is just jump into a group and jump into the program. And just remember you can always change, but don't change without commiting to a group for at least a couple of months. After all you can be scouting out other meetings at the same time.
Cause number two for your reluctance is very common amoung us recovering drunks. Alcoholics have a neurotic (by which i mean irrational) but no less real fear of being exposed and of commitment. Both fears stem from a similar cause and many of us drank and did the things we did to escape this fear. The fear was there before you drank and now it has resurfaced because you have removed the solution to that fear, the drink. AA recovery is three fold (meetings, service, and step work), and meetings are only one part. Meetings can be great and meetings can be awful. What I'm saying is just jump into a group and jump into the program. And just remember you can always change, but don't change without commiting to a group for at least a couple of months. After all you can be scouting out other meetings at the same time.
get in where you fit in it's up to you to found that place where you feel that viod has been filled go to every meeting find some spirituality what ever it takes be a big brother to keep it you have to give it away at the end of the dayPray and give thanks that you are still clean and sober.
I go to several different meetings regularly and have no specific home group. There is nothing in AA that requires a home group, so far as I know.
It can be an expectation in many AA communities that people in AA need a home group. This is difficult for those of us who are shy, don't want to make that commitment or dislike the expectation of joining a group.
If you don't like going to meetings, it may just be a matter of learning a new behavior - that is going to meetings. Or it may be good to identify what feelings you have when your consider the idea of going to a meeting. Do you feel sad, angry, scared? And then ask yourself how you feel about that reaction.
In other words, work on your feelings about meetings.
All evidence points to meetings as key to long term recovery, so it's good you are talking about this issue.
It can be an expectation in many AA communities that people in AA need a home group. This is difficult for those of us who are shy, don't want to make that commitment or dislike the expectation of joining a group.
If you don't like going to meetings, it may just be a matter of learning a new behavior - that is going to meetings. Or it may be good to identify what feelings you have when your consider the idea of going to a meeting. Do you feel sad, angry, scared? And then ask yourself how you feel about that reaction.
In other words, work on your feelings about meetings.
All evidence points to meetings as key to long term recovery, so it's good you are talking about this issue.
