I think it has two sides, both a physical side and an emotional side. I think the emotional side to alcoholism might be the more common of the two. Both can cause an other wise intelligent person to drink even though they know they are doing themselves harm......
what are your thoughts on what is an alcoholic?
Cookster
Gidday Cookster
Physical, Mental, Emotional and Spiritual...for me alcohol dulled them all enough for me to want to die....One drink is too many and a thousand is not enough....One persons rock bottom is anothers Sunday stroll.
Any one who can and is willing to admit it to another person and God
light and love Zac
Physical, Mental, Emotional and Spiritual...for me alcohol dulled them all enough for me to want to die....One drink is too many and a thousand is not enough....One persons rock bottom is anothers Sunday stroll.
Any one who can and is willing to admit it to another person and God
light and love Zac
What a good question Cookster!!!
When I was drinking, I would have said an alcoholic was someone who was old, virtually destitute and completely physically dependant on alcohol.
After I sobered up, I had to soul search alot to realise that I too was an alcoholic. So, my definition of an alcoholic (and that's me - because I don't wish to surmise anyone elses alcoholism), is someone whose life is controlled by alcohol. Someone who has a very unhealthy and unbalanced relationship with the liquor and uses and abuses it to block parts of themselves and life that they cannot deal with, to such an extent that they become very sick.
When I was drinking, I would have said an alcoholic was someone who was old, virtually destitute and completely physically dependant on alcohol.
After I sobered up, I had to soul search alot to realise that I too was an alcoholic. So, my definition of an alcoholic (and that's me - because I don't wish to surmise anyone elses alcoholism), is someone whose life is controlled by alcohol. Someone who has a very unhealthy and unbalanced relationship with the liquor and uses and abuses it to block parts of themselves and life that they cannot deal with, to such an extent that they become very sick.
Great observation, Lacey! We joke around the rooms that we used to consider alcoholics to be bridge-dwellers, sidewalk sleepers, box hoppers, and basically hopelessly ruined drunks. And then I realized: I AM ONE.
So my perception changed....
I'm surrounded by professionals, doctors, lawyers, business owners, truckers, moms, grandmoms, retired military, teachers... Well, hell, I AM ONE.
I've met the bridge dwellers and the box hoppers who found help and hope who are now productive members of society. I've met meth-heads and crackers and addicts who are living one day at a time with all the determination and sobriety that any one would be proud of--escept they have a knowing, patient, non-judgemental persona that preceeds them. And I want to be like them. I want the peace and serenity they have.
It's funny. I can see those suits and professionals and doctors and coaches and retirees that have my problem who've chosen to thumb their nose and I can't help but feel sorry for them. They know not what they overlook in the interests of themselves. Sad, really, because, as it turns out, the people who've gone through hell and are in recovery are far more interesting, loving, and patient than those "healthy" people.
I think I get it now...
I AM ONE.
So my perception changed....
I'm surrounded by professionals, doctors, lawyers, business owners, truckers, moms, grandmoms, retired military, teachers... Well, hell, I AM ONE.
I've met the bridge dwellers and the box hoppers who found help and hope who are now productive members of society. I've met meth-heads and crackers and addicts who are living one day at a time with all the determination and sobriety that any one would be proud of--escept they have a knowing, patient, non-judgemental persona that preceeds them. And I want to be like them. I want the peace and serenity they have.
It's funny. I can see those suits and professionals and doctors and coaches and retirees that have my problem who've chosen to thumb their nose and I can't help but feel sorry for them. They know not what they overlook in the interests of themselves. Sad, really, because, as it turns out, the people who've gone through hell and are in recovery are far more interesting, loving, and patient than those "healthy" people.
I think I get it now...
I AM ONE.
I believe that an alcoholic is someone who undergoes profound (and usually negative) personality and emotional change when drinking. I am the adult child of an alcoholic and have spent plenty of time around and hiding from drinkers and drunks. I can also put away a few myself and have drunk my share over the years, though I seldom drink anymore, just don't dig it.
I don't know if I can explain myself well, but here goes. Some people drink and maybe even get drunk and all that happens is they get a bit louder, a bit sillier, a bit looser - slightly exaggerated versions of their real selves. Others drink, a little or too much, and undergo complete transformations - maybe they go from nasty to morose, or nasty to the life of the party. Or maybe they go from normal engaging folks to loud, belligerent, mean, foolish, obnoxious, and ridiculous - they undergo such profound change that they no longer seem themselves, and I seldom like the people they become. Or maybe you just don't know what you'll get and they'll shift from one manner to another without warning.
I have learned to fear these changes whatever they bring. My dad was one of those who-knows-what's coming drinkers and only on rare occasions was it fun; more often than not it brought anger and meanness into our lives.
Don't know if that's a definition, but the change is what defines a drunk for me.
Peace Out Y'all~MomNMore
I don't know if I can explain myself well, but here goes. Some people drink and maybe even get drunk and all that happens is they get a bit louder, a bit sillier, a bit looser - slightly exaggerated versions of their real selves. Others drink, a little or too much, and undergo complete transformations - maybe they go from nasty to morose, or nasty to the life of the party. Or maybe they go from normal engaging folks to loud, belligerent, mean, foolish, obnoxious, and ridiculous - they undergo such profound change that they no longer seem themselves, and I seldom like the people they become. Or maybe you just don't know what you'll get and they'll shift from one manner to another without warning.
I have learned to fear these changes whatever they bring. My dad was one of those who-knows-what's coming drinkers and only on rare occasions was it fun; more often than not it brought anger and meanness into our lives.
Don't know if that's a definition, but the change is what defines a drunk for me.
Peace Out Y'all~MomNMore
Someone who has a very unhealthy and unbalanced relationship with the liquor
spot on Lacey - I think this sums it up for me - that and the control comment
PS can someone remind me how to do the quote box thing,
spot on Lacey - I think this sums it up for me - that and the control comment
PS can someone remind me how to do the quote box thing,
square brackets [ ] with the word "quote" inside them, and at the end square brackets [ ] with a back-slash / and the word "quote" inside them
| QUOTE |
| and uses and abuses it to block parts of themselves |
good answer Lacey! I was trying to form an answer to my question and then you said what I was trying to say so well. I know I was drinking to avoid parts of who I am.
Yes,when you are trying to escape your self, things can get unpredictable at times. MomNmore, you mentioned something to that effect.
My name is Dennis and I am an alcoholic. I think the reason I found it hard to say that is because to admit to being an alcoholic is to admit that there is a part of myself that I want to avoid. But it is true, I am an alcoholic; the good news is I am in recovery,
one day at a time, Cookster
| QUOTE |
| My name is Dennis and I am an alcoholic |
Welcome. Glad you're here.
Hi Dennis....
AMEN.
I don't quite know how to define an alcoholic but I know for me, I've had the feelings of "not fitting in", "less than", "different" for as long as I can remember, way before I ever took a drink...and when I did take that first drink, alcohol then became the solution and worked for me for quite awhile until it no longer did. When I first got sober, I didn't realize that alcohol was just a fraction of my problem, that the real problem was me and once I embraced recovery and started to change my attitude and perception, life has never been better...
What I had to learn the hard way was I am powerless over alcohol, drugs, people, places and situations, life....
Smooches,
Stacey
ps...~~waving hello~~ Idgie, Lacey, Mom, Zac & Skg
| QUOTE |
| But it is true, I am an alcoholic; the good news is I am in recovery, |
AMEN.
I don't quite know how to define an alcoholic but I know for me, I've had the feelings of "not fitting in", "less than", "different" for as long as I can remember, way before I ever took a drink...and when I did take that first drink, alcohol then became the solution and worked for me for quite awhile until it no longer did. When I first got sober, I didn't realize that alcohol was just a fraction of my problem, that the real problem was me and once I embraced recovery and started to change my attitude and perception, life has never been better...
What I had to learn the hard way was I am powerless over alcohol, drugs, people, places and situations, life....
Smooches,
Stacey
ps...~~waving hello~~ Idgie, Lacey, Mom, Zac & Skg
Dennis - brilliant!!! Hi.
It also took me a long time after sobering up to admit I was an alcoholic, but it was so liberating!!!
Here's to your freedom and your new found truth!
It also took me a long time after sobering up to admit I was an alcoholic, but it was so liberating!!!
Here's to your freedom and your new found truth!
Alcoholic to me is what Zac posted: mentally, spiritually and physically sick from alcohol...for me I knew I was an alcoholic at 23 years old because when I tried to manage and control my drinking I was miserable and sick and when I didn't manage and control my drinking I was miserable and sick. I couldn't stop at just one drink......one was never enough and a thousand was too many!
Welcome Dennis!
Welcome Dennis!
Gidday Dennis
And doesnt it feel good to belong and finally have somewhere that you are understood and never alone.
Light and love Zac
And doesnt it feel good to belong and finally have somewhere that you are understood and never alone.
Light and love Zac
bump for Izzy
Thanks Cookster.
Izzy
Izzy
I too am alcoholic, I've always been sick my whole life, this bloody personality disorder that I'm only on the verge of fighting now. I have the support of my mum my psychiatrist my psychologist and even an alcohol counsellor, but I still hate myself. So I drink. I drink I feel better next day I feel like a total waster.
I'm sick in the mind, so does this mean I can only stop drinking once the mind heals or do I stop now and try and fill this void in my life with something else? But WHAT?? That is what I can't get.
I'm really stressing myself out over this. I'm totally scared my dad is gonna die when he has this operation, even after coz he's got cancer. I'm so scared coz I know I'm not gonna cope. I can't face the day anymore, the closer it gets the worse my stress levels are getting and the more I'm craving a drink. Just to forget it all, I don't know what I'm gonna do and right now I'm on the verge of tears and my mum just doesn't get how anxious I am about all this because she has all her friends there to support her and all I have is her. I'm fighting the urge to spend money also coz I know right now I need that instant gratification, the same feeling I get when I have that first drink. All my problems are solved then and there but when I get home I just think to myself it's not enough. The same the next morning after a drink.
I'm so confused... I just want this alcohol life and this bloody mental disorder to dissapear... I'm scaring myself now when I drink coz I get cramps in my abdomen and chest pains, stress? Or too much alcohol? I know the answer to that one but I can't face it...
Too much already...
Izzy
I'm sick in the mind, so does this mean I can only stop drinking once the mind heals or do I stop now and try and fill this void in my life with something else? But WHAT?? That is what I can't get.
I'm really stressing myself out over this. I'm totally scared my dad is gonna die when he has this operation, even after coz he's got cancer. I'm so scared coz I know I'm not gonna cope. I can't face the day anymore, the closer it gets the worse my stress levels are getting and the more I'm craving a drink. Just to forget it all, I don't know what I'm gonna do and right now I'm on the verge of tears and my mum just doesn't get how anxious I am about all this because she has all her friends there to support her and all I have is her. I'm fighting the urge to spend money also coz I know right now I need that instant gratification, the same feeling I get when I have that first drink. All my problems are solved then and there but when I get home I just think to myself it's not enough. The same the next morning after a drink.
I'm so confused... I just want this alcohol life and this bloody mental disorder to dissapear... I'm scaring myself now when I drink coz I get cramps in my abdomen and chest pains, stress? Or too much alcohol? I know the answer to that one but I can't face it...
Too much already...
Izzy
Hey Izzy, it sounds like you sometimes feel you only have your mum for support, but you don't.....your beautiful spirit touches people who will never even see you in real life, but who sense who the real you is through this medium which, on a board like this, takes away all the trimmings, all the smoke and mirrors we human beings hide behind.....the clothes and make-up and false smiles and money/no money bulls*** that ruins who we could be....
People like who you are Izzy. I'd like to think we can care for anyone irrespective of how they behave but t's easy to care and to be here for you because you're obviously a good person.
We've "talked" about personality issues before - you were really helpful to me and I will always be grateful for your insight. I'm pretty sure there's something to it in my situation.
I might be wrong (that's a given, but something makes me feel a need to say it :)...but it sounds to me as if you want to understand a bit more than you do about the personality stuff that you mention is going on for you. Are you getting what you want from your counsellors etc?
Truth is Izzy, ANYONE would be feeling anxious and afraid about what's going on in your family's life right now. Knowing that doesn't stop you feeling those things, but accepting that fact might normalise it to some degree for you and take a bit of the worry and stress out of it.....it's NORMAL to feel stressed and worried in such a difficult situation and perhaps it would be good to do something that people would normally do to deal with their stress....and the truth is that's probably ANYTHING.....walking, painting, cleaning the house, cleaning it again, calling friends, calling The Samaritans (I think it's Lifeline in the US?), reading, cleaning the house, posting here to try to help others (lol)....
Sometimes life sucks and the only thing we can do is try not to make it worse for ourselves or anyone else.....don't make it worse Izzy, you are too precious a soul....keep yourself safe, well and....in time.....happy.
Keep in touch.
Martin
ps....you asked what you will fill "this void" in your life with Izzy.....I believe the answer is you....the real, wonderful you who is so obviously fighting through the alcohol and the personality stuff to reclaim her place in this wonderful life. You've always deserved you place in the sunshine Izzy, but for whatever reason a shadow stole it from you.....what is awesome and inspiring is that you are so insightful and determined and willing to fight to WIN it back. You deserve it twice over Izzy, I hope you realise that.
People like who you are Izzy. I'd like to think we can care for anyone irrespective of how they behave but t's easy to care and to be here for you because you're obviously a good person.
We've "talked" about personality issues before - you were really helpful to me and I will always be grateful for your insight. I'm pretty sure there's something to it in my situation.
I might be wrong (that's a given, but something makes me feel a need to say it :)...but it sounds to me as if you want to understand a bit more than you do about the personality stuff that you mention is going on for you. Are you getting what you want from your counsellors etc?
Truth is Izzy, ANYONE would be feeling anxious and afraid about what's going on in your family's life right now. Knowing that doesn't stop you feeling those things, but accepting that fact might normalise it to some degree for you and take a bit of the worry and stress out of it.....it's NORMAL to feel stressed and worried in such a difficult situation and perhaps it would be good to do something that people would normally do to deal with their stress....and the truth is that's probably ANYTHING.....walking, painting, cleaning the house, cleaning it again, calling friends, calling The Samaritans (I think it's Lifeline in the US?), reading, cleaning the house, posting here to try to help others (lol)....
Sometimes life sucks and the only thing we can do is try not to make it worse for ourselves or anyone else.....don't make it worse Izzy, you are too precious a soul....keep yourself safe, well and....in time.....happy.
Keep in touch.
Martin
ps....you asked what you will fill "this void" in your life with Izzy.....I believe the answer is you....the real, wonderful you who is so obviously fighting through the alcohol and the personality stuff to reclaim her place in this wonderful life. You've always deserved you place in the sunshine Izzy, but for whatever reason a shadow stole it from you.....what is awesome and inspiring is that you are so insightful and determined and willing to fight to WIN it back. You deserve it twice over Izzy, I hope you realise that.
Gidday Izzy
Wasnt there someone else who posted and was bi polar as well? maybe you could get there email and have a more personal and indepth discussion on the problems with someone who understands both angles and mind sets
light and love zac
Wasnt there someone else who posted and was bi polar as well? maybe you could get there email and have a more personal and indepth discussion on the problems with someone who understands both angles and mind sets
light and love zac
One who is mentally preocupied with drinking. Who may be physically dependent. A need to put a halt on withdraws. People drink/drug to change the way they feel. Emotional, mental, physical and spirtual.
I don't know who posted this qoute, it is not mine. I wrote it down many months ago, as it made sense to me.
"Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drug". In essence at the end this is how I felt. It means even more for me today. I was sick and tired of being sick. I was, still am willing to work look for more ways to remain sober then to drink. I want and need to live in reality. It is hard Izzy sometimes, but the other way had become harder for me.
I don't know who posted this qoute, it is not mine. I wrote it down many months ago, as it made sense to me.
"Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drug". In essence at the end this is how I felt. It means even more for me today. I was sick and tired of being sick. I was, still am willing to work look for more ways to remain sober then to drink. I want and need to live in reality. It is hard Izzy sometimes, but the other way had become harder for me.
