In the last 48 hrs he has been inundating us with texts. He has gone from finger pointing to blaming to shaming to the pity me stage pleading with us to let him come back home because he's clean now and lonely.
He is only 18 and it is breaking our hearts but we are remaining firm in saying no because we know that nothing has changed. He says that he only smokes weed now so we can see that his definition of clean is miles apart from what clean really is. Plus we know that he is short on cash so that might be curbing his appetite for the more expensive cocaine, meth & lsd that he was gobbling like candy.
Although I had to go back to work to pay for his apartment it is emotionally cheaper than ever having him back. We couldn't survive that torture again.
. stick to your decision to keep him out. I know it is hard to hear when they bend the truth and blame you, but that also fuels your fire to be firm.
Braceyourself, get her out of your house. You are enabling her to the point of incapacitation. It is possible to have hope while they are not living under your roof. Let her find a sober house, halfway house, or other place to stay. You've been in this way too long and she has NO reason to change her behavior, including the behavior that strings you along with false hope. Addicts are very resourceful people when they have to be.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
You will not change what you are willing to tolerate.
Same old=same old
Both parties stay in a cycle as long as both are getting something out of it. It's easy to see what she's getting out of it...what's in it for you? Why are you still doing what has not worked? What need is thie dysfunction filling in you? For me it was the need to control (make that the illusion of control)...one way or another, that's what it boils down to for most folks in similar situations...we fear, so we attempt to control the uncontrollable. It never works.
Peace ~ MomNMore
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
You will not change what you are willing to tolerate.
Same old=same old
Both parties stay in a cycle as long as both are getting something out of it. It's easy to see what she's getting out of it...what's in it for you? Why are you still doing what has not worked? What need is thie dysfunction filling in you? For me it was the need to control (make that the illusion of control)...one way or another, that's what it boils down to for most folks in similar situations...we fear, so we attempt to control the uncontrollable. It never works.
Peace ~ MomNMore
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Thank you for the list Momnmore...
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Last bump of the day!!!
Peace & blessings,
Lynn
xoxo
Peace & blessings,
Lynn
xoxo
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I read this one daily too.
Bump
BUMP.
And one obvious bit:
Stop doing whatever it is you've been ding for 2, 5, 10 years...Just. Stop.
If it hasn't helped and nothing has changed, it won't. Do the opposite of whatever it is you've been doing. Pull back and let them manage on their own...rise or fall on their own merits. Just. Stop.
And one obvious bit:
Stop doing whatever it is you've been ding for 2, 5, 10 years...Just. Stop.
If it hasn't helped and nothing has changed, it won't. Do the opposite of whatever it is you've been doing. Pull back and let them manage on their own...rise or fall on their own merits. Just. Stop.
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