I ex-boyfriend of 4 1/2 years called today. Apoligized for everything he has said and done (which he has never apoligized before) He ssaid he knows he has a problems, that he was taking his anger out on me. He wants to try again. He said he needss help and is willing to get some. However when I asked him how, he couldn't answer. He said he was just done drinking. I tried to explain that he can't do this on his own, his reply was that he is not a weak person, he is a sick person. I told him if he really wanted to stop drinking and was willing to get help I would support him. I told him he had to make the first step though. I wouldn't go back to him unless he went to get help first. He said he needs me. This is breaking my heart, but I can't trust him right now.
words by him mean nothing right now. he'll say anything in his desperation.
disregard what he says, and watch what he does.
don't feel sorry for him. only his misery, pain and interior emptiness will bring him to abstinence and recovery.
offer to pray with him.
hello there, when my ex made those promises i always sat back and watched his behavior. when someone stops drinking or using and goes into recovery you will without a doubt know there is a change. for my ex it was short lived, he just didnt want it badly enough. when i did see him sober for about 3 months he had changed however he went right back to drinking more than ever. just before i made a no contact rule he stated he wanted to go to meetings and he stayed sober for 3 days and said he fell off the wagon, with him he jumped off the wagon. you learn that words mean nothing and action is everything. i believe i wanted recovery more for him than he wanted it for himself.
take care
carol
take care
carol
I have made the decision to not go back, not until he has proven he wants this for himself. I feel the same way, that I want this more then he does. I love him, and he can do this, but I guess time will only tell. I am going to watch his actions, I have been very honest with him.. no false hopes. He needs to do this for himself not for me, and if in the end he can do this I will come back.
I just hope he quits consintrated so much on our relationship and starts consintrating on himself.
Thank you everyone for your support.
I just hope he quits consintrated so much on our relationship and starts consintrating on himself.
Thank you everyone for your support.
pleasant, come join us on the Families/Partners of Addicts board of this website. you will find and make friends there who can share your experience.
