My sister is a addict. Over the last 2 years I've seen a downward spiral that breaks my heart it pieces. She had a marriage, a family. I've done everything I can think of to help her. I've helped my mom get custody of her 3 kids that she began to neglect. I couldn't sit back and watch the kids suffer as well. I called children serves on my own sister hoping it would be a wake up call. It wasn't. It's been over a year and it's gotten worse. She went from pills to heroin. She's been arrested a dozen time and gets a fine and walks. She is on probation and just got charged again. With only a fine. She went to rehab bc it was court ordered. She was there for 17 days. 12 of those they lowered her doses of suboxen when she started to get sick. A fellow addict in rehab gave her drugs. When we picked her up the first thing she did was try to sneak someone else in rehab drugs since someone helped her out. She lose her house, her husband, her kids. She now lives in a camper with her bf a fellow addict and I only see it getting worse. I can't afford to send them to rehab or I would if they'd go. The only other thing I can think of at this point is to report to her probation officer her drug use. Seeing she using other people's pee to pass their tests. My question is am I wrong to think about doing it. Would going to jail help? Is it somewhere she would be able to get clean? I would rather resort to sending her to jail and her getting away from drugs and have her not talk to me again. Than watch her continue down this road and in a few months her be dead. I'm at a loss as to what to do. I can't talk to my mom about this bc she still believes my sisters lies. My sister tells her she is going to get clean all on her own with her bf. I know that's not possible. Any advice pls.
You could report her, but I'm not sure if it would do any good. Her PO doesn't seem to be doing a very good job if she's managing to sneak in clean urine. You could tell the PO she's using others urine. Maybe if the PO see's that somebody cares about what happens to your sister, he'll take more of an interest in her and monitor her closer.
As far as your sister goes. I know you want to help her get clean. Even if you could afford the best rehab's.. that's still no guarantee she's going to stay clean. Even jail may not help.
Ultimately, the decision to stay off drugs has to be hers. She's lost so much already that you'd think she hit rock bottom, but I guess this isn't her rock bottom yet.
I know it's frustrating but there's really nothing you can do to help your sister make better choices with her life. It has to come from her.
I'm sorry you're going through this.
hugs, L
As far as your sister goes. I know you want to help her get clean. Even if you could afford the best rehab's.. that's still no guarantee she's going to stay clean. Even jail may not help.
Ultimately, the decision to stay off drugs has to be hers. She's lost so much already that you'd think she hit rock bottom, but I guess this isn't her rock bottom yet.
I know it's frustrating but there's really nothing you can do to help your sister make better choices with her life. It has to come from her.
I'm sorry you're going through this.
hugs, L
Thank you both for replying. My sister just got oUT the hospital with a blood in infection thar started as a infection from her injection spot. I know I can't help her and that she needs to want to get help. She can't hit rock bottom bc my parents continue to bail her out one way or another. I know it can't be easy on my parents to just let her stuffer it out but I hate that they can't see they are just enabling her. I know they hold out hope. I do also. I'm just a little more realistic. I don't think she will go to rehab willingly. And you can't make her go any other way. That's why I was wondering if jail would be a option for her. It's the only thing I can think of trying at this point. I feel like I'm the only one who truly sees the direction she is going. I really wish someone would pass a law that would allow you to get your loved ones help when they don't realize they need it. It hurts watching my sister melt away. It hurts that I have to argue with my parents over it and they look at me as if I'm the bad guy. That bc I think the best thing would be to report her in hope of her getting help she needs. It makes me feel so lost.
Any chance you could get your parents to go to a nar anon meeting so they'd see that their enabling is doing more harm to your sister than good? Try talking to your mom and dad separately and see how they really feel about helping your sister. If they both shut you down, then there's not much you can do, but it's possible one of them is just going along with the other because they don't know what to do and are leaving it up to the other parent.
I've been thinking about your dilemma and I think you should call her PO, tell him what you've told us, and then ask if jail would help your sister. It's possible she wouldn't even get jail time but her PO would know the answer to that. I don't know how they handle those issues where you live. Where I am they basically get a slap on the wrist. Tell him about the boyfriend too.
You have nothing to lose by calling the PO and asking.
oh, I just reread your post where you ask if you're wrong to even think about reporting your sister. gosh, no. Your hearts in the right place. You want to help her. No need to feel guilt over this.
hugs, L
I've been thinking about your dilemma and I think you should call her PO, tell him what you've told us, and then ask if jail would help your sister. It's possible she wouldn't even get jail time but her PO would know the answer to that. I don't know how they handle those issues where you live. Where I am they basically get a slap on the wrist. Tell him about the boyfriend too.
You have nothing to lose by calling the PO and asking.
oh, I just reread your post where you ask if you're wrong to even think about reporting your sister. gosh, no. Your hearts in the right place. You want to help her. No need to feel guilt over this.
hugs, L
So I've got nothing good to report. My parents aren't together. My mom lives in Florida and my dad is here in Pa with us. My mom has my sister's 3 kids down there with her. I've tried to tell my mom about the meetings so she can go and see that she really isn't helping even though she thinks she is. My dad kinda avoids the subject unless its right in his face. My sister doesn't call him as much as she does my mom.
I called my sisters PO today after being woken by phone calls of people looking for her and her bf for items they stole. I told the PO everything. It's good to know that in the state of Pa nothing is done. I told her how my sister was in the hospital, how she is stealing and has people looking for her. I asked her to drug test her now and see that she is not clean. She told me that she has made the judge aware of the incident at her home. I found out that this "incident" was her PO finding baggies last month at her house with residue in them. She said there is nothing else to do. For me to get my sister into rehab. Ha if it was only that easy.
Last I heard my sister told my mom she was going to walmart to shoplift so she can sell the stuff and get money. If I knew which one I'd go and report her there in the act. Not that I think it would do any good. She has gotten 6 shoplifting charges in the last year.
Although I feel like giving up, I haven't. I've just truly exhausted every avenue I know to turn down. Now its just a waiting game.
She has a hearing this month for stolen property maybe one more charge will do something.
Thanks for letting me vent and get it out.
I called my sisters PO today after being woken by phone calls of people looking for her and her bf for items they stole. I told the PO everything. It's good to know that in the state of Pa nothing is done. I told her how my sister was in the hospital, how she is stealing and has people looking for her. I asked her to drug test her now and see that she is not clean. She told me that she has made the judge aware of the incident at her home. I found out that this "incident" was her PO finding baggies last month at her house with residue in them. She said there is nothing else to do. For me to get my sister into rehab. Ha if it was only that easy.
Last I heard my sister told my mom she was going to walmart to shoplift so she can sell the stuff and get money. If I knew which one I'd go and report her there in the act. Not that I think it would do any good. She has gotten 6 shoplifting charges in the last year.
Although I feel like giving up, I haven't. I've just truly exhausted every avenue I know to turn down. Now its just a waiting game.
She has a hearing this month for stolen property maybe one more charge will do something.
Thanks for letting me vent and get it out.
Hi Marie, Boy your a fighter. I wish I had you in my corner. I hope your sister gets well again.Your a great sister!! I have a daughter who has been an addict for 16-17yrs and I just told her yesterday to stay away from my home as she was meant to go into rehab and didn't. She also threatened me with grievous bodily harm last night. So I've washed my hands of her. I'm all done now. I think you have to allow yourself just so long to spend helping your sister and then stop. Don't waste all your years trying to fix her. You have to make a life of your own and find happiness. Don't let fixing her be your priority and rob your young years. It's not your job to do this. All day long I have had pleading texts begging me to let my daughter come here and I won't allow it. I've blocked her phone number from my house phone and thinking about changing my cell number. It's took a lot for me to get to this stage but I wish I had done it 16 yrs ago. I learned on here to let go. It's something you should try and learn too. We think they can't survive without us around but truth is they live in a different world from us and all they want is drugs. It's the only thing that makes them fill that void. There's an example she let her kids go. My daughter too. So you know this isn't the same person your dealing with. She is on survival instinct and nothing else matters. Strange when you tell them to stay out of your life that's when they want to stay in it. I wish you and your sister well. But look after you first Marie. God Bless. M.
So it's been a month and I figured I'd give a update. I went to visit my sister today in jail. Calling her po didn't do any good and she just kept on. She is now facing 6 felonies and 6 misdemeanors. She has been in there for a week now. They have her detoxing right now so hopefully she comes out of there stronger than she went in. It wasn't easy to see her behind that little glass. It wasn't easy to watch her cry bc she is scared. When she cried bc she wouldn't be able to call her kids for Christmas it broke my heart. But I know this was her own doing. I believe it was this or she wasn't going to stop and the call we would get could have been worse. I don't know how long she will be away for since she hasn't had any hearings yet. I do hope that she takes this times as a wake up call and takes full advantage of this hard learned lesson. I hope she comes out there stronger than she went in and gets the help she truly needs. Most of all I hope to get my sister back, that my parents get their daughter back and that my nieces and nephew get their mother back. I thank those that have responded and made me feel like I was doing something right.
