CPS random drug testing looming everyday and yet I still used today. Typical justifications, my boyfriend treats me like a low life burden. It's my feelings of not being good enough, low self esteem and just wanting to feel something other than worthlessness that sends that message to my brain. "If only he felt and I treated him like that."
But the bottom line is I don't feel happy or fulfilled after using meth.
I'm enrolling in IOP tomorrow.
Please guide me to stop using this useless drug that has brought such negative consequences to my children.
Thank you in advance for your guidance and support
it is not your boyfriend who makes you feel worthless. It is the drug that is doing that. it deadens your emotions. your boyfriend is reacting to your actions. once you are clean for many months you will feel emotions again. unfortunately you may feel depression and anxiety first. find support groups, even if they are temporary. digest all forms of information regarding withdrawl so you know what to expect and you have meds, etc to help you through it. keep adding healthy things to your day. if you slip up, start again. get comfortable with your triggers so you know what to avoid ahead of time. change ALL of your habits. drink lots of water so you are not dehydrated. sleep as much as you can. vitamins B and C. it will take several months or a year of clean time. be patient with yourself. put your health first. look into alternative medicine - massage, acupuncture, therapy. keep reading old posts to see what to do to help w withdrawl
It's not your boyfriend or your drug. YOU control your SELF esteem. It's called self esteem for a reason. I've never done meth and have had low self esteem. You have to have confidence in yourself and you need to think about your kids every time you're about to use.
