I have been using khat for the past three years. This year however things have just gotten a little out of control. I started seeing a shrink 4 months ago, and i feel its become a place where i can vent - get things off my chest?? However my intake to khat gets worse by the week and where i can finish a gram to 2 grams a day easily!! Thats alot of khat! For the past 4 weeks my shrink has been asking, suggesting and hinting rehab. But i dont think im ready to go that far?? Tried going to NA meetings but couldnt get out my car! I am struggling and feeling very lonely! I take drugs now to keep me happy, take me out of my head - away from all this! My relationship with family has deteriated slowly and im not interested in work anymore. I use there to! However, through all this i still feel that things arnt that bad ...? Am i Crazy?? I feel that i still have control over my life, and my intake..?? Am i to crazy?? I dont know what to do, where to go or who to ask. Im to proud to ask and admit my addiction. Im afraid il be looked at as someone whos weak and cant cope with life? Ive enjoyed sitting at home all night alone taking drugs and i feel content. Is this right? I have spent so much money that im borrowing left, right and centre! Yet, yes i do feel that i still have control. My body twitches and spasms, i lose focus in my eyes, i cant keep my concentration and lose train of thought and im always shaking, and cold! No matter how hot it is outside, im freezing! I would greatly appreciate your feedback, help and advice with regards to this? PLEASE! I dont know if im losing my mind, and whether or not i should just go to rehab and do a detox?
Thanks
Hugs
Me
I've posted back to you on my thread, "forced into rehab" keep strong and thanks for thinking of us and our daughter when you are battling yourself. This war you are having can be won, your post showed me that you have won the first battle and keep strong, do it for yourself and the rest of your family will admire you in the future. I have worked in the NHS for years and see the progressive damage of this crap, the downward spiral, thank god you have received help.
Luv and hugs
Rozzie
Luv and hugs
Rozzie
Rozzie, Hi there! Thank you very much for replying back to my post. I really appreciate your words and concern, it means a lot and has given me a little more hope and belief in myself to continue this road to recovery - I know it will be difficult and i will need all the strenght i have - So Thanks! You and your daughter, as well as family are going thorugh a difficult time, but hang in there and you to keep your strenght high - this is not an easy or quick raod and one must always keep that in mind.
I wish you all the best and hope things work out for the best.
And Thanks for thinking of me to... *wink*
Take Care
Hugs
Cyndi
I wish you all the best and hope things work out for the best.
And Thanks for thinking of me to... *wink*
Take Care
Hugs
Cyndi