I have a question that i need help with ..I am not a drug user but live with someone who is a recovering addict. At least i hope that is how it is put and i`m not offending anyone.My question is ...When you stop using drugs after using them most of your life ..Do you become someone new?My friend quit using months ago and seems to be sad, angry and very into himself. By that i mean, he doesn`t seem to want to talk or bother with anyone around him. Is this just a phrase he`s going thru or has he become a different person now?The littliest things set him off and this just started happening recently but seems to get worse everyday. Please i sure could use some input on this . I don`t understand what`s happening to him anymore ...
P.S. Please don`t say he needs to go to meetings ..hes been to many of them and he`s still agnry
Feeling Lost,
I totally understand where you are at. My boyfreind is in recovery
and It's like PMS 24/7 for dudes testostrone induced. That's it the
drugs effected his levels of testostrone. No without the drugs he's
ODing on testostrone. Honestly I have no Idea want I'm talking about
but I was hoping to make you smile. Hang in there.
Ladydor
I totally understand where you are at. My boyfreind is in recovery
and It's like PMS 24/7 for dudes testostrone induced. That's it the
drugs effected his levels of testostrone. No without the drugs he's
ODing on testostrone. Honestly I have no Idea want I'm talking about
but I was hoping to make you smile. Hang in there.
Ladydor
Thank you so much Lady Dor.. It feels soooo good to hear i`m not alone with this problem.. And yes.. you certainly did make me laugh..and i truly needed that ...So... do we find out theres light at the end of the tunnel? God, i hope so !!!!!
I can only pray. Some days I will see a breif glimpse of the man I
feel in love with but mostly he's a stranger. The question is " Is
this man you are sharing your life with truely sharing" and is he
worthy of your life.
Ladydor
feel in love with but mostly he's a stranger. The question is " Is
this man you are sharing your life with truely sharing" and is he
worthy of your life.
Ladydor
feeling lost
Is your friend recovering from meth(speed)?
MK
Is your friend recovering from meth(speed)?
MK
I'm going out on a limb here , lost ?? do we live in the same house?? if not I apologize but sounds like we do ... there might be more truth to that testosterone comment than you think !! if I can answer slipping from my "manly man" side to my "in touch with myself" side...( hey!!! dont go ther you perverts!!! , and there isnt anything feminine about me to the others ) (hahaha) Most men like to think they have "control" of things , ya know...on top of situations, can fix everything, (never cry?) ummm, have to be the providers ( ok, well in most cases) and so on .....speaking for me personaly it seems like life would be easier to be the male chauvinist pig , I could just do what I want , say what I want and not care about anything .... but I do care , and after using meth for soooo many years it HAS taken it's toll , I have had to admit it is stronger than I , That I am too weak to it's seduction .....I have never in my life been too weak to beat anything!!! ( can ya feel the testosterone raging??) I stayed in a bad relationship too long because I was headstrong about my daughter and her halfsister having a father and a mother , depression from that, and now I also know ,due to the use of meth would become overwhelming .For years my only avenue ( I thought at the time ...ok? gimme a break ?) was using meth, which made me go faster than my problems , and for most of the time kept me in a great mood. Looking at the overall picture now , I was usually in a happier and "level" frame of mind while using meth . The only other emotion I found to be powerful enough to overcome "dangerously" severe depression was anger. Now dont get me totally wrong ....there is one other emotion I find to be more powerful than anger .....love! ... love however is very fragile like glass , it is transparent , and breaks easily .....anger is like solid steel , dark , heavy , and unpenetrable ( ok linda, I need a dictionary! ) (ooops, I guess I could turn on spell check!! , naw.....that would be unmanly hahaha) My point is , now that I have laid my soul out practically ( oh my God!! I have turned into my sisters!!!) long term meth use DOES have an effect on the brain chemistry. Does it come back?? I tend to think all things can,. given the right invironment, and help. Finding a doctor with a genuine desire to help treat the underlying causes of certain problems rather than just treat the symptoms is what I hope to find ( I generally find most docs either too programmed to go with the "group" or sorry to say "ignorant" of addiction and behaviour isuues). other than that all I can say to you "lost" is TALK to him about what his issues are , I know from personal experience that "men" and "women" have a bad habit of only looking at things "their" way and not understanding what it is the other person is truly feeling.Face it ....women have a million emotions and discuss them all , or not . Men have them also but they are all shoved into very few groups , like ,( love, like, lust, sex, did I say sex?? and ummmm sex) is one group (frustration, disappointment, confusion, etc. etc. are all in the ANGER group) ( feelings like warm and fuzzy, caring, sharing feelings are all in a hidden file) hahaha, just joking .....but how much??? , d@mn ..after this post I might as well turn in my pants, boxers, t-shirts, and beer, and put on a dress , have my hair and nails done , and go "do" lunch with my girlfriends so we can talk about ......well whatever it is you all talk about !!! hahaha I wish you and yours the best Lost ......with love and respect to all of you .....with a dash of humor ....AL
feeling_lost,
Remember that your friend is dealing with emotions that have been medicated for so long that he has lost knowledge of how to handle these emotions. He has been emotionaly bedridden for so long that his emotional legs have atrophied. It is a learning experience, like a stroke patient re-learning to talk.
He feels helpless and angry that he does not know how to get along with life. As his brain become healthier this feeling will pass, but he must excercise that brain with activities that are safe and fun for him. Don't nag, but do observe him and try to find the things that engage him and give him confidence. Encourage these activities.
Remember that your friend is dealing with emotions that have been medicated for so long that he has lost knowledge of how to handle these emotions. He has been emotionaly bedridden for so long that his emotional legs have atrophied. It is a learning experience, like a stroke patient re-learning to talk.
He feels helpless and angry that he does not know how to get along with life. As his brain become healthier this feeling will pass, but he must excercise that brain with activities that are safe and fun for him. Don't nag, but do observe him and try to find the things that engage him and give him confidence. Encourage these activities.
Ditto, Ditto, And Ditto to JUstOneMore. Boy, have you hit the nail on the head!! I can tell that meth users must all follow the same path down the road. Every single word you state is so very true to form - maybe it's just this "older" generation that goes that way, who knows. Follow your heart and listen to your heart, and hopefully with time and patience, and a little guidance once in awhile, you'll find the person you once fell in love with. No guarantees it will happen, but where there's a will, there's a way. Good Luck!! Keep coming back for more, we're all here to support you - all us us young and old.
Thank you all for answering my posts..I`ve been checking the board but haven`t answered. Guess it`s because things only seem to be getting worse between us.He needs help and i mean professional help!! Only he refuses to see it. Again, thank you for your responses.
Feeling lost, I wish we could have given you a "magic pill" or something. For now we can only tell you the facts. The man I love is still using. I keep trying to pull myself away from the relationship. I suck big time at the detachment. I'm still hoping he'll see the "light". It's just not happening. I know I need to move on. I have the best intentions and try to pull away. But I guess I'm not ready to let go yet. Pisses me off. I start moving on and hear a song or see something that reminds me of the "beginning" and back I go. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Oh well, I'm learning each time. And who knows what tomorrow brings? Love and support,,,,,Linda
Feeling Lost, Maybe what you think are little things, he feels different about . It seems to me you are looking here on the board for answers that can only be answered by discussing with him.
If he is a recovering meth addict , there isnt the normal brain reaction of non-addicts. He will get better but it takes some time. And some understanding.
You say he is getting withdrawn, you use the word "seems" a lot . It sounds as though you are watching what is going on , but not talking with him , and by talking , I mean it is a two way conversation .
Only he knows what is going on in his head , No one but him . The first thing a proffessional is going to do is talk with him , and listen to what he says.
It is quite possible, to him , you were his therapist and stopped listening. For me personally , if that happened ....I would just shut up, and deal with all my feelings internally .
Kind of like ....why bother talking with someone who assumes how I feel , and then goes onto the internet to talk with people who have no clue as to ALL the facts??
I hope my rambling helps, just a thought I had .......AL
If he is a recovering meth addict , there isnt the normal brain reaction of non-addicts. He will get better but it takes some time. And some understanding.
You say he is getting withdrawn, you use the word "seems" a lot . It sounds as though you are watching what is going on , but not talking with him , and by talking , I mean it is a two way conversation .
Only he knows what is going on in his head , No one but him . The first thing a proffessional is going to do is talk with him , and listen to what he says.
It is quite possible, to him , you were his therapist and stopped listening. For me personally , if that happened ....I would just shut up, and deal with all my feelings internally .
Kind of like ....why bother talking with someone who assumes how I feel , and then goes onto the internet to talk with people who have no clue as to ALL the facts??
I hope my rambling helps, just a thought I had .......AL
"only he knows what's going on in his head" lol.... sometimes he/she has no idea what is going thorough their head either.... you could be in the same boat.... talk to him, listen to him.... maybe together you can figure out where the anger is coming from? Understanding and compassion is sometimes all I need to feel better when stuff is bothering me.
Hugs
Charmed
Hugs
Charmed
Hi friends,,Well I'm up and posting away this am. The "post-er" chick from hades,lol. Got my laundry going. Already thinking about a pm nap. I'm cleaning both stores tonight. More hours. More money. I'm trying to stay on the positive. Tomorrow is my one day off. Yipee!!!!! Bob is replacing a window, changing the oil, and replacing a CV joint assembly for me. Thank you, thank you. And bleeding the brakes. Sometimes free vehicles take a little money and time to bring up to snuff. I have a van to drive <<<<grin>>>>>. And, of course, I have been. I feel like a free spirit. Yipee!!! Hope my friends are a-ok today, Al??? L&S to you all,,,,,Linda
