AFTER THE PAST 6 MONTHS I TRULY HAVE DECIDED MY BELIEF IN GOD HAS CHANGED DRAMATICALLY.
I DO BELIEVE IN MY HIGHER POWER---GOD BUT IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW HARD I PRAY THINGS JUST GET WORSE.
NO PITY PARTY JUST BEING HONEST. I AM TIRED OF ASKING FOR THE LEAST OF THINGS AND NADA/
WAY TO MANY NEGATIVES AND I HAVE BEEN ON MY HANDS AND KNEES BEGGING FOR GUIDANCE AND I RECEIVE SHEET--HARDTO EXPLAIN BUT VERY DOWN--
USUALLY I WOULD GO OUT AND EAT MYSELF INTO WELL GROSS--PAST MONTH THE VOICES ARE BACK--AND THERE SCARY TO ME--
MY D.O.C WAS NEVER A PROBLEM TILL RECENTLY AS i MEET A YOUNG 28 YR OLD VERY SMART PRETTY BLA BLA BLA--LOVES COKE???
i AM GOING TO BECOME A PRIEST--i CANNOT BE NEAR HER AND YET i WANT TO SO BADLY.
I AM IN A AWFUL PLACE MENTALLY AND WELL??pUCK IT--CALLED MY BUDS AND THEY ALL TALKED NE OUT OF THESE YOUNGER? i AM 46 ???
I JSUT WANT TO GET TO START A RELATIONSHIP?
THIS ALL BLOWS BETWEEM THE KIDNEY STONES MY USUAL ILLNESES AND MY DAD AND NOST IMPORTANT WORRIED ABOUT MY MOM
GOD ME --SO FREAKIN HORNY--WOMAN?
JEFF
jeff sometimes its hard for us when we ask and do not receive, its not that God is ignoring you, it is not in Gods plan yet to answer until the right time, and i believe one day you may look back and say to yourself, wow, God DID answer my prayer, He is listening jeff,
God always answers prayers but sometimes He says no.
Jeff, we do not know each other, but I related to your sense of being hopeless and overpowered. In 2003, I learned that I had advanced lymphoma and had begin radiation and chemotherapy. Exactly 5 years ago today I met and hired my oncologist who set up my chemo.
Three days previously, my sweetheart of 20 years with whom I had remained close, had entered hospice care for advanced stage leukemia. We spoke by phone for the last time when I returned home from the oncologists office. I had sat with her through two years of horrific treatments, celebrated her remission, saw her relapse 6 weeks later, and then watched the cancer destroy her internal organs from the inside out. She died a painful death 5 weeks after that day I met with my oncologist.
I survived my cancer and got free of the pain killers that eased my suffering but could have robbed me of real life. I got lucky. Why is that I lived and she died? I can assure you it is not because my faith is somehow superior to hers, nor that I am a better person. Neither could be further from the truth. How does a merciful God, or even a just God allow this to happen? I would have gladly exchanged places with her. I wasnt doing much with my life, and she had much to live for.
I was lucky. I had many years of recovery to draw on and that got me through this difficult time in my life. I do recall a family member wanting to pray to God that He remove my cancer. I looked at him and asked him why not just ask God to make it so that I never had cancer?
I have grown in my faith beyond viewing God as a bearded man on a cloud who grants my wishes. I have not put much faith in Santa Claus for many years now. What I do believe quite ardently is that my HP, whatever I choose to call him today, grants me peace and spiritual centeredness to meet head on the challenges that life presents me. I do not ask Him for favors to ease my burdens, but rather, for strength to carry them with gratitude.
Life is a messy business, full of pain and loss. Nonetheless, life is Gods gift to you, such as it is. Your gift to God is how you choose live it in the face of your struggles.
Gods grace is present if you learn to seek it. Good luck, Hang in there.
August
Three days previously, my sweetheart of 20 years with whom I had remained close, had entered hospice care for advanced stage leukemia. We spoke by phone for the last time when I returned home from the oncologists office. I had sat with her through two years of horrific treatments, celebrated her remission, saw her relapse 6 weeks later, and then watched the cancer destroy her internal organs from the inside out. She died a painful death 5 weeks after that day I met with my oncologist.
I survived my cancer and got free of the pain killers that eased my suffering but could have robbed me of real life. I got lucky. Why is that I lived and she died? I can assure you it is not because my faith is somehow superior to hers, nor that I am a better person. Neither could be further from the truth. How does a merciful God, or even a just God allow this to happen? I would have gladly exchanged places with her. I wasnt doing much with my life, and she had much to live for.
I was lucky. I had many years of recovery to draw on and that got me through this difficult time in my life. I do recall a family member wanting to pray to God that He remove my cancer. I looked at him and asked him why not just ask God to make it so that I never had cancer?
I have grown in my faith beyond viewing God as a bearded man on a cloud who grants my wishes. I have not put much faith in Santa Claus for many years now. What I do believe quite ardently is that my HP, whatever I choose to call him today, grants me peace and spiritual centeredness to meet head on the challenges that life presents me. I do not ask Him for favors to ease my burdens, but rather, for strength to carry them with gratitude.
Life is a messy business, full of pain and loss. Nonetheless, life is Gods gift to you, such as it is. Your gift to God is how you choose live it in the face of your struggles.
Gods grace is present if you learn to seek it. Good luck, Hang in there.
August
Jeff the only thing I can say that has been true for myself,friends,& even my own daughters......it does seem that when we finally get to a place in our lives where we are contented with & by ourselves...well THAT always seem to be the time that love finds us.Maybe if your not looking the best thing that ever happen to you will fall into your lap.
MJ
MJ
Be careful what you pray for,you might just get it.
A 28 year old coke head who decides she wants a daddy and some new digs.
That won't be pretty.
A 28 year old coke head who decides she wants a daddy and some new digs.
That won't be pretty.
This has helped me a lot:
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, Who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you.
1 Peter 5:10
Keep the faith,
Michelle
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, Who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you.
1 Peter 5:10
Keep the faith,
Michelle
I know exactly how you feel about God. It seems the more I pray and try and form a relationship with him the worse my life gets. It's very discouraging.
Hang in there!
Hang in there!
Jeff.think about the post Stacy posted yesterday about those two gorgeous little babies(4&5) who were beaten starved and left ina closet for months in agony,until their deaths at the hands of their own father?!?!?!?!
Where is god in this?
No matter how bad we have it,others have it worse.Im going through a very rough time myself and trying so hard to be strong,pray and take it day by day,each seperate problem.
I feel its not god is ignoring me,its god has much more important work elsewhere right now,but he will be here for us at the right moment.
I agree with tim,a young girl,looking for a sugar daddy,on drugs,DISASTER,you know it,its hard but.....you know how that scenerio ends.Your parents need you now,dont mess that up,good luck~KIM
Where is god in this?
No matter how bad we have it,others have it worse.Im going through a very rough time myself and trying so hard to be strong,pray and take it day by day,each seperate problem.
I feel its not god is ignoring me,its god has much more important work elsewhere right now,but he will be here for us at the right moment.
I agree with tim,a young girl,looking for a sugar daddy,on drugs,DISASTER,you know it,its hard but.....you know how that scenerio ends.Your parents need you now,dont mess that up,good luck~KIM
Tim you lost me bud--
August I understand --I am very grateful for evreything and I do beleive in 'God" I beleive there is some form of a higher power.
Whati have learned or feel strongly about is you can pray all you want but its your actions that make your prayers come true
And this bullsheet with my dad is going on 7 years. I never shared about it at the beginning or I do not remember if i did as my first year on this board I was in the twighlight zone.
Anyway things jsut suck now my dads stomach is messed up they have no idea what is causing the problem--its a boring story bottom line he is one tough sone of a beetch and will never quit fighting.but his body is totally diseased.
the cancer is spreading as these tumors keep breaking his bones. The radiation is slowly killing him. my mom for the first time realizes this is it he will never be right again. and this is whats killing me inside.
i had a mnor pity party ate like a pig but back on my diet life goes on-
Jeff
P.S anybody know how to add a spell checker?
TIA--
August I understand --I am very grateful for evreything and I do beleive in 'God" I beleive there is some form of a higher power.
Whati have learned or feel strongly about is you can pray all you want but its your actions that make your prayers come true
And this bullsheet with my dad is going on 7 years. I never shared about it at the beginning or I do not remember if i did as my first year on this board I was in the twighlight zone.
Anyway things jsut suck now my dads stomach is messed up they have no idea what is causing the problem--its a boring story bottom line he is one tough sone of a beetch and will never quit fighting.but his body is totally diseased.
the cancer is spreading as these tumors keep breaking his bones. The radiation is slowly killing him. my mom for the first time realizes this is it he will never be right again. and this is whats killing me inside.
i had a mnor pity party ate like a pig but back on my diet life goes on-
Jeff
P.S anybody know how to add a spell checker?
TIA--
Just messing with you Jeff.
I don't have any answers.I was told years ago from some wiser people than me that we don't ask God for things.We ask for guidance and then hope we have the fortitude to live up to that.
Wanting companionship is normal.Sometimes our picker is broken.I am constantly checking my motives and 75% of the time they are totally self serving.Right now I'm content with the companionship of my two dogs.
I don't have any answers.I was told years ago from some wiser people than me that we don't ask God for things.We ask for guidance and then hope we have the fortitude to live up to that.
Wanting companionship is normal.Sometimes our picker is broken.I am constantly checking my motives and 75% of the time they are totally self serving.Right now I'm content with the companionship of my two dogs.
Jeff, I think I understand. Life is messy and my experience with my former sweetheart taught me that few of us are lucky enough to die as my Grandfather did, while tending his garden and with a smile on his face. For most of us, the transition between this world and the next is painful for all concerned.
One thing that used to help me on my sickest chemo days was to remember that my worse day was better than my former sweetheart's best, and that my worst day did not define the rest of my life, but rather was just a bad day.
Hang in there Jeff. And feel free to unload. Sometimes that can help a lot.
August
One thing that used to help me on my sickest chemo days was to remember that my worse day was better than my former sweetheart's best, and that my worst day did not define the rest of my life, but rather was just a bad day.
Hang in there Jeff. And feel free to unload. Sometimes that can help a lot.
August
Are you speaking from experience, Tim? <BEG>
Tim you should know my by now. First off 28? more like 19 and no COKE and of course a REDHEAD I would pray for that
August I just came back from the hospital. Surprised my dad --he got a transfusion andthat helped. Thank god there is no staff infection on his stomach. hew is making another recovery. Physcial therapy came in early this morning to get him up and about .
Yea it does make me feel better to talk it out.
Take care August--Jeff
August I just came back from the hospital. Surprised my dad --he got a transfusion andthat helped. Thank god there is no staff infection on his stomach. hew is making another recovery. Physcial therapy came in early this morning to get him up and about .
Yea it does make me feel better to talk it out.
Take care August--Jeff
Jeff
LOL........then that makes all the difference in the world.You can drive her to school.
Kat
Yes, and several unpaid loans.
| QUOTE |
| First off 28? more like 19 |
LOL........then that makes all the difference in the world.You can drive her to school.
Kat
| QUOTE |
| Are you speaking from experience, Tim? |
Yes, and several unpaid loans.
Yep thats the point Tim 19 year olds hang with other 19 yrolds OHH LA LA
Man tim my eldest is 18 yrs old. she visited recently. downloaded pictures from a party -man these girls all 17-18 looked like they were 25+ its scary.
My daughter is a prude --THANK GOD --My younger daughter who is 9 going on 15 she will probaly lose her virginity before my eldest. LOL--
Tim these freakin fruit flies are driving me nuts--turns out my disposal was not working. The food backed up--one poster gave me a tip from Martha stewart 'Mom" I am going to try once they fix my disposal ---- as they are still buzzin
Jeff.
Man tim my eldest is 18 yrs old. she visited recently. downloaded pictures from a party -man these girls all 17-18 looked like they were 25+ its scary.
My daughter is a prude --THANK GOD --My younger daughter who is 9 going on 15 she will probaly lose her virginity before my eldest. LOL--
Tim these freakin fruit flies are driving me nuts--turns out my disposal was not working. The food backed up--one poster gave me a tip from Martha stewart 'Mom" I am going to try once they fix my disposal ---- as they are still buzzin
Jeff.
Posted by MonN More:
"Martha Stewarts solution and it works...I have to do it every summer.
Fill a flat-ish soup plate/bowl with cider vinegar, pull plastic wrap tightly over bowl and poke it several times (10-12) with a toothpick. The fruit flies fliy in but can't can't go out. I dumped my little trap the other day and there were like 40 in there."
Jeff.......That is a great suggestion.You then don't have to worry about using strong chemicals.Mom's a holistic gardener so she knows her stuff.
Don't work yourself up over things you can't control.Your daughters sound bright.In the end they probably will make smart choices.
"Martha Stewarts solution and it works...I have to do it every summer.
Fill a flat-ish soup plate/bowl with cider vinegar, pull plastic wrap tightly over bowl and poke it several times (10-12) with a toothpick. The fruit flies fliy in but can't can't go out. I dumped my little trap the other day and there were like 40 in there."
Jeff.......That is a great suggestion.You then don't have to worry about using strong chemicals.Mom's a holistic gardener so she knows her stuff.
Don't work yourself up over things you can't control.Your daughters sound bright.In the end they probably will make smart choices.
Hi, Sub. I have found myself in the very same situation. It is hard going through life thinking that God is not hearing our prayers. I was taught by a very wise and Godly man that when you are going through hell and trials, that God is using all of that to make you a stronger person. No one said doing the right thing was going to be a rose garden. I definitely know that. Most of the time, it is so much easier to go ahead and do the wrong thing. Sin is for a season, but WOW what a season, right? LOL Anyway, just know that the more trials and tribulations you are going through is actually a good thing. That just means that you are getting closer to God and further away from the devil. That old devil is trying every trick he's got to get you back to him. Just rebuke him and keep drawing close to God. Your prayers do not go unheard. It's just not their time to be fulfilled. God's blessings to you and hang in there. Just know and believe that you ARE FREE. I will be praying for you too.
M
M
Who knows?
I don't mean that glibly.
Do we really expect or hope to understand God?
I feel that's too much.
I don't think God answers prayers. I don't think he's the help.
I believe God has His purpose. I don't presume to hope to understand it.
My job is to try to find Faith and act as if I believe that goodness counts.
My job is to try to understand what God wants me to do.
I believe God wants me to be happy.
I try to pray for guidance, and for the strength and courage to follow it.
I often forget to pray. I often forget He is there. I often forget He has saved my life and showed me that He exists in a hundred astonishing ways.
I do not understand, and if I did, I wouldn't need Faith.
I try to find Faith; that's my job. And that's all there is.
It's easy for me to say this in the face of another's awful pain. I am sorry if I have struck the wrong note. I am so sorry that you and others are suffering. I hope things improve and I hope that all the love you feel and show and share unfolds in a thousand wonderful ways in your life.
God bless you.
M
I don't mean that glibly.
Do we really expect or hope to understand God?
I feel that's too much.
I don't think God answers prayers. I don't think he's the help.
I believe God has His purpose. I don't presume to hope to understand it.
My job is to try to find Faith and act as if I believe that goodness counts.
My job is to try to understand what God wants me to do.
I believe God wants me to be happy.
I try to pray for guidance, and for the strength and courage to follow it.
I often forget to pray. I often forget He is there. I often forget He has saved my life and showed me that He exists in a hundred astonishing ways.
I do not understand, and if I did, I wouldn't need Faith.
I try to find Faith; that's my job. And that's all there is.
It's easy for me to say this in the face of another's awful pain. I am sorry if I have struck the wrong note. I am so sorry that you and others are suffering. I hope things improve and I hope that all the love you feel and show and share unfolds in a thousand wonderful ways in your life.
God bless you.
M
