I've been jumping around through posts and have so many questions. Our 25 year old son is addicted to oxy. He graduated from college nearly two years ago, came back to live with us to save a bit and move on, but, a year went by and now nearly two and we recently learned he hadn't saved anything and is actually greatly in debt through check writing against credit cards. He admitted use and searched and found treatment with suboxone in mid- december. Little did we know - or did he know that the physical withdrawal would be the easy part. I'm not sure how long he stayed on the suboxone before going back to oxy. The doctor told him to get to NA meetings and counseling, but with Christmas travel to see family, it was put off till after the first of the year. And then he found excuse after excuse. We've just confronted him again and he went back to the doctor for another round of suboxone 8 days ago, but I know he hasn't taken the meds and he's written more checks on a credit card that I thought was closed, so his oxy use has escalated. He said he needs to do this (treatment) for himself, not because we want him to - which is true. He also said he would spend time this weekend to try to figure out why he isn't where he should be. He's gone with friends for the weekend. I printed out something from this site and had also previously shown him a book that speaks of the "hijacked brain" and told him that he can't figure this out for himself - he needs help. My husband and I are trying to figure out the next step that we should take. Obviously he needs to do something - How do people deal with the psychological addiction? He went to our county drug & alcohol treatment center for evaluation on this past Tuesday, but he has to wait a week - till next Wednesday to get the results of the evaluation and their recommendations. It already took nearly a month to get in for the appointment - and by that time he fought about going because he was back using. I know we can't make him do any of this, and have come to the decision that if he won't commit to help, he will have to move. I'm scared to death that he will die. I haven't discussed this with anyone but my husband and we're both too close to it and too naive to be of much help. I'm sorry for rambling - I've read so much support from many of you and those on other forums who are beating their addiction, I pray that our son can do the same. For now I'm scared, sad, angry and oh so tired..........Thanks for listening
Hi,
Well, I know oxy is similar to heroin and highly addictive. I'm not sure what the physical withdrawals are with oxy or if they are the same as heroin, but I know the mental stuff is tough for people trying to get clean. This crap does something to their brain - messes with their seratonin (sp??) and it takes time again for their own bodies to begin to make the seratonin on it's own. During that wait, there is a lot of depression and stuff. From a mother of an addict, I can identify with the fear you have for your son. It's sad to have to be thinking about them possibly dying, but that's the reality of drug addiction. I know the wait can be long on some of those lists to get into facilities for treatment, but I think it's good to get on the list no matter what and get there when your turn comes. At least your son knows he has to want to be clean for it to work and that's so important. There is a book by Dr. Drew Pinsky, "Cracked" and agree with him or not, he at least points out things from a medical perspective so you can have an idea of what is going on internally with your son's addiction. I would suggest reading it - my daughter read it first about a month after she got off heroin because she wanted to have an understanding of the healing process. She also attended NA and got a sponsor which has been an immeasurable help to her. As for yourself, this board is wonderful - I wish I would have known about it back then! I prayed and lot and my faith in God grew in leaps and bounds! Please keep us all posted on how things go for your son and you.
Well, I know oxy is similar to heroin and highly addictive. I'm not sure what the physical withdrawals are with oxy or if they are the same as heroin, but I know the mental stuff is tough for people trying to get clean. This crap does something to their brain - messes with their seratonin (sp??) and it takes time again for their own bodies to begin to make the seratonin on it's own. During that wait, there is a lot of depression and stuff. From a mother of an addict, I can identify with the fear you have for your son. It's sad to have to be thinking about them possibly dying, but that's the reality of drug addiction. I know the wait can be long on some of those lists to get into facilities for treatment, but I think it's good to get on the list no matter what and get there when your turn comes. At least your son knows he has to want to be clean for it to work and that's so important. There is a book by Dr. Drew Pinsky, "Cracked" and agree with him or not, he at least points out things from a medical perspective so you can have an idea of what is going on internally with your son's addiction. I would suggest reading it - my daughter read it first about a month after she got off heroin because she wanted to have an understanding of the healing process. She also attended NA and got a sponsor which has been an immeasurable help to her. As for yourself, this board is wonderful - I wish I would have known about it back then! I prayed and lot and my faith in God grew in leaps and bounds! Please keep us all posted on how things go for your son and you.
Dear Mother W, I wanted to thank you for your posts and thoughts. Although my late bf was not one of the sucess stories in recovery from drug addiction I have known of people to sucessfully overcome it, and hope your daughter continues to stay strong. I am sure this has been a heartwrenching experience for you and wish you all the best. Dora p.s. Could you list the above book under recommended reading post, it may get out to others, Thanks!
Another Mother,
Isn't funny how naive we are as parents. I had to find out through my other son that my son David was on heroin. He was 20 at the time. I was not trained in what to look for and it was not like he was walking around like a happy drunk.
Once they are adults we are powerless to really control their life. At least you were able to see your son graduate from college.
You might want to read my sons thread: "My son died from a heroin overdose at 21." There is a lot of good discussion that may give you some ideas on how to deal with your situation. There is no right or wrong in dealing with addiction. There is no cure for addiction. It has to be handled one day at a time. All I can say is love and support your child to overcome his addiction.
Make sure he is assessed from a psychiatrist when he is clean and get him into a program that includes NA, an NA Sponsor, Psychologist and Family Support. Also, keep him busy. When they get busy they get better. As soon as they get too much spare time that leads back to bad habits.
God Bless and I am praying for your son.
Phil
Isn't funny how naive we are as parents. I had to find out through my other son that my son David was on heroin. He was 20 at the time. I was not trained in what to look for and it was not like he was walking around like a happy drunk.
Once they are adults we are powerless to really control their life. At least you were able to see your son graduate from college.
You might want to read my sons thread: "My son died from a heroin overdose at 21." There is a lot of good discussion that may give you some ideas on how to deal with your situation. There is no right or wrong in dealing with addiction. There is no cure for addiction. It has to be handled one day at a time. All I can say is love and support your child to overcome his addiction.
Make sure he is assessed from a psychiatrist when he is clean and get him into a program that includes NA, an NA Sponsor, Psychologist and Family Support. Also, keep him busy. When they get busy they get better. As soon as they get too much spare time that leads back to bad habits.
God Bless and I am praying for your son.
Phil
another mother, you'll find other posts here about our family and 24 year old son who was living with us last year. i'm convinced in many cases the adult child returning home is simply an enabling situation. we try to help, but end up taking over for them. mine's detoxed from alcohol primarily, but has used other things, and is currently in a half way house living with about 12 other guys -- most of them are trying to stay sober and clean. at least there he has to take care of himself and there are rules, support and structure that are someone else's, not ours. and he's treated just like everyone else.
thanks for posting here. it's all anonymous -- and other gain support and comfort from reading the experiences and stories of others. advice is freely given and many questions are answered. prayers are answered too.
thanks for posting here. it's all anonymous -- and other gain support and comfort from reading the experiences and stories of others. advice is freely given and many questions are answered. prayers are answered too.
phil, i totally agree with the busy part, even my son has commented on that one. they need to work and have a structure. boredom and lack of having to be accountable to someone that won't bend is a part of the answer for addicts and alcoholics it seems.
I know keeping my son busy was one of the the keys, but during the summer, before he died, he had too much time on his hands. He was working part time, at a golf course as a cart attendant. So the evenings and some days were free. Also, like you say. They need to take direction from somebody other than us. Unfortunate as that is, it is true. The problem is they can walk away from structure as adults. I offered him a half way house, after he got out of rehab, for his sake and for my wife, my other son and I. they are called sober living houses out here in California. David thought he was too good for that. Also, I am sure he did not like the rules like drug tests and having a job.
Thanks Bob for the good discussion.
Phil
Thanks Bob for the good discussion.
Phil
Dear Another Mom,
Please know that I know the pain you feel and I will pray for you and your son. Please pray for my son Harry to get free of this horrible addiction. God bless!
Love,
Susan
Please know that I know the pain you feel and I will pray for you and your son. Please pray for my son Harry to get free of this horrible addiction. God bless!
Love,
Susan
It's been a busy two weeks, but I wanted to thank each of you who wrote to me for your posts and good advise and prayers. My prayers go out to each of you and addicts and families everywhere each day. We are all living a nightmare - one we never imagined. Phil, I am so sorry about the loss of your son. I fear that daily for my own son and he knows it and sometimes uses it against me. My own brother committed suicide at the age of 22. Though he had used drugs, he wasn't addicted at the time and had just begun seeking help for depression. But life took its toll on his fragile mind and I see the depression in my own son as well as the drug use. I pray for you and your family as you live through life's greatest tragedy.
My son did go the county counseling orientation last week, and will go again this week. It is so frustrating that each step is a week between - and that we didn't know that other options were available before. Now he doesn't want to start over again with another workup and other treatments- and I hope and pray that he is on the road to recovery. For those who are seeking help - we just learned that for someone who has health insurance, the local hospitals will do a workup and begin counseling immediately and treat inpatient or outpatient. Why didn't someone tell us any of this? I called our local Diocese and the only thing they gave me was the county alcohol & drug number - and it was disconnected! I had to find the right number on my own. My mission when I can spend more time on it will be to inform them of treatment options so that others don't have to waste time as we did. I have another question - There is a page on this site that speaks of a book called "End your Addiction Now" which speaks of nutritional supplements to help one overcome addiction. Has anyone ever used this method and what were the results? I hesitate to buy all this stuff if it is quackery or will make him sick! May God bless each of you and bring your loved one to health.
My son did go the county counseling orientation last week, and will go again this week. It is so frustrating that each step is a week between - and that we didn't know that other options were available before. Now he doesn't want to start over again with another workup and other treatments- and I hope and pray that he is on the road to recovery. For those who are seeking help - we just learned that for someone who has health insurance, the local hospitals will do a workup and begin counseling immediately and treat inpatient or outpatient. Why didn't someone tell us any of this? I called our local Diocese and the only thing they gave me was the county alcohol & drug number - and it was disconnected! I had to find the right number on my own. My mission when I can spend more time on it will be to inform them of treatment options so that others don't have to waste time as we did. I have another question - There is a page on this site that speaks of a book called "End your Addiction Now" which speaks of nutritional supplements to help one overcome addiction. Has anyone ever used this method and what were the results? I hesitate to buy all this stuff if it is quackery or will make him sick! May God bless each of you and bring your loved one to health.
Dear Another Mom,
I was very interested in the herbal/natural ways to get free of addiction also. Our story sounds very much like yours except that my son has depression so bad that he hasn't been able to work for about 5 months and has turned to retail theft to get money for his drug. He first had maxed credit cards with cash withdraws and written bad checks. He started on vicodin. Then oxycontin being told it was about the same as vicodin, but he was addicted IMMEDIATELY!!! Oxycontin is synthetic heroin. My son turned to heroin because it is cheaper and easier to get.
I found this site and gave it to my son at first, but stopped because we were afraid it would affect his drug (urine) tests. Table 1 about amino acids really interested me.
http://www.counselormagazine.com/di...ne_Theraphy.asp
Let me know if it works.
Please know that my thoughts, compassion, and prayers are with you. I honestly do KNOW the heart-breaking pain, frustration, exhaustion, and anguish you are feeling. My email is devangreb@aol.com if you want to write me. I will try to respond as quickly as possible. God bless!
Love,
Susan
I was very interested in the herbal/natural ways to get free of addiction also. Our story sounds very much like yours except that my son has depression so bad that he hasn't been able to work for about 5 months and has turned to retail theft to get money for his drug. He first had maxed credit cards with cash withdraws and written bad checks. He started on vicodin. Then oxycontin being told it was about the same as vicodin, but he was addicted IMMEDIATELY!!! Oxycontin is synthetic heroin. My son turned to heroin because it is cheaper and easier to get.
I found this site and gave it to my son at first, but stopped because we were afraid it would affect his drug (urine) tests. Table 1 about amino acids really interested me.
http://www.counselormagazine.com/di...ne_Theraphy.asp
Let me know if it works.
Please know that my thoughts, compassion, and prayers are with you. I honestly do KNOW the heart-breaking pain, frustration, exhaustion, and anguish you are feeling. My email is devangreb@aol.com if you want to write me. I will try to respond as quickly as possible. God bless!
Love,
Susan
Another Mom,
Yes, if you have good insurance it will pay for drug addiction therapy on an outpatient basis. They will also pay for depression treatment. You have to have a Mental Health benefit as part of your medical insurance.
Rehab is another story. Most insurance companies have short arms and shallow pockets when it comes to doling out money.
The insurance I have is great. I have Value Options Mental Health benefit through my company and it is the best according to my sons psychiatrist.
Too bad my son never fully utilized it.
God Bless,
Phil
Yes, if you have good insurance it will pay for drug addiction therapy on an outpatient basis. They will also pay for depression treatment. You have to have a Mental Health benefit as part of your medical insurance.
Rehab is another story. Most insurance companies have short arms and shallow pockets when it comes to doling out money.
The insurance I have is great. I have Value Options Mental Health benefit through my company and it is the best according to my sons psychiatrist.
Too bad my son never fully utilized it.
God Bless,
Phil