Hiya everyone, im new to this site, just been reading peoples posts, god its like everyone knows exactly how it is, that been a addict is the worst place to be. ive been a heroin addict for 12yrs and its been the same cycle day after day, ive been clean numerous times over the yrs but for some reason i can never manage to completely stay clean and its really doing my head in, ive been on 70mls of meth daily for the last year, everyday i take my meth and get on with life but for some stupid reason just once a week on a friday night i use, the rest of the week it does'nt bother me, its like just so long has i can have my friday treat has i call it i justify it to myself thats it alright. and everytime after ive used i get so annoyed at myself for doing it because i know i really dont want to be using but its like i cant stop myself i get so frustrated at myself, has anybody else had this problem and how do i stop doing the same thing time and time again, you'd think i'd have cracked it by now because its been years but it truly is the hardest thing in the world to do and to cope with, why is it so hard!!! but then again who said life was easy, see u for now take carexx
Hey LittleAngel...I'm new to this board here as well but not new to addiction. Your weekly routine seems to be getting the best of you and yet you continue to be trapped by this demon same as I was. It seems I always had an axcuse to use...it was easy to lie to myself, I had gotten so good at it lieing to everyone else over the years. I kept telling myself this time it would be different. Now THAT'S insanity. Doing the SAME things, thinking I would end up with a different result. The one thing I can suggest to you is to keep talking to other addicts about this both here and if possible in a face to face situation and at some point you will get a better grip on this. In the mean time, keep up the good work. Using once a week is not the solution but it's so much better than being totally out there..you're gonna make it.
Hi littleangel, ive been were you have so many times and i never thought i woould ever get away from heroine as with all the will in the world it just kept sucking me back in I was on drugs for 10yrs and tried many times to stop but i kept gping back to it, I was on 50ml methodone too but it done nothing to me to stop using it made me put weight on, the sweat would always be running off my face and body i hated it, but it was that or do rattlling with nothing to help me. 4 days before christmas (2008), my young brother took his own life and hanged himself he was only 33yrs old.
He was my best friend everything to me and i lost him its only been 20 wks so im finding it so hard and difficult to deal with it, anyway i from scotland and a new drug suboxone(well new to me) was offered to me and i went into a rehab for 21 days and came off 50ml of meth and heroine and after 4 days of having no meth or heroine in my system went on to suboxones that was 7wks ago and i havent used since. The suboxone has a blocker in it so it makes you have no mental craving for it, honestly i cant believe it myself im 7 wks clean, i know its not long but long for me as i dont want it or crave it, i was the worldest worst fot talking myself into "oh 1 bag wont do any harm", bt as someone one said to me 1 is to much and thousands are never enough. My point is angel if anyone can i can so dont be down on yourself your time will come and believe me you will know yourself when you really want to stop as it does nothing but make you sad and depressed on and off it. Take loads of care, im new to this site too so you keep your chin up.
He was my best friend everything to me and i lost him its only been 20 wks so im finding it so hard and difficult to deal with it, anyway i from scotland and a new drug suboxone(well new to me) was offered to me and i went into a rehab for 21 days and came off 50ml of meth and heroine and after 4 days of having no meth or heroine in my system went on to suboxones that was 7wks ago and i havent used since. The suboxone has a blocker in it so it makes you have no mental craving for it, honestly i cant believe it myself im 7 wks clean, i know its not long but long for me as i dont want it or crave it, i was the worldest worst fot talking myself into "oh 1 bag wont do any harm", bt as someone one said to me 1 is to much and thousands are never enough. My point is angel if anyone can i can so dont be down on yourself your time will come and believe me you will know yourself when you really want to stop as it does nothing but make you sad and depressed on and off it. Take loads of care, im new to this site too so you keep your chin up.
Hey Yvonne..it seems so senseless when someone so young loses their life under such tragic circumstances. I lost my brother 24 yrs ago to AIDS. The cause of death listed on the death certificate was 'chronic intravenous narcoticism. He was a heroin user and shared needles so I know how you feel losing someone in a seemingly senseless way. It's an incredible thing you're doing getting yourself clean and I want to congratulate you on the time you have. Keep coming back and let me know how you're doing because you are definitely an encouragement for me.
