Hi, everyone
Bob, I hope you're feeling ok after your surgery. I didn't realize you were having surgery. Sorry if I missed it. I would have said some prayers for your surgery and will say some for your recovery.
Danny, you will be in my thoughts and prayers that God will give you peace of knowing you are in his loving care and that He will guide the hands of the surgeons.
I'd like to explain to you why I'm posting on this forum if you don't mind. I'm not saying this in any smart aleck way...just explaining for you to understand why some that aren't addicts might post here.
When I found this board, there was no families/partners of addicts forum, so I went to the pain pills forum because at the time that's what I was told my son was on. I met some very WONDERFUL people on here who helped me TREMENDOUSLY to get through one of the most DIFFICULT times of my life. Lo and behold, a families/partners of addicts forum was started, and it's a great blessing too, but just because my posts jumped over to that forum, my heart was still tied to this forum because of how you all reached out to me and tried to help me understand how to help my son. I still care about you all and have to come back to check on you to see what is going on.
Bob, you remind me a lot of a man (also named Bob) that I worked with (in the same classroom) for 5 years. We worked together with elementary students who needed emotional support. It was a VERY stressful job, but I LOVED it. I have the utmost love and respect for my boss, but we had major differences. He was what he termed "the bad cop" and I was the nurturing "good cop". It worked very well with our students, kind of like a family with the mother and father having different ways of helping their kids. Sometimes I would get to feeling sorry for him always being the meany and me getting all the hugs, that I would try being the "bad cop". I didn't like doing it, but sometimes it needs to be done. I didn't always agree with when he felt it was needed, but I KNOW that he did it out of the goodness of his heart because he felt it was best for them. Sometimes it wasn't the right time...he wasn't perfect...but he tried his best just as I did. Sometimes my soft nurturing ways enabled my students to continue their bad behavior. That's not good either. We usually balanced each other. That is what we do on here most of the time. Like I said before, one of the big disadvantages of talking online is not hearing the tone with which something is said or not seeing the expression.
Just wanted to tell you all that you're special in your own ways. God bless!
Love,
Susan
Susan,
I don't think you needed to explain why you post here........or for that matter what you post about. You share your love for your son so freely. You are here just as we all are.....for guidance, support, understanding, and most of all hope.
May no one ever lose sight of how pure your intentions always are and of how much you care for all on here. It does shine as brightly as you do.
Love,
Tina
Emailing the links about suboxone........
I don't think you needed to explain why you post here........or for that matter what you post about. You share your love for your son so freely. You are here just as we all are.....for guidance, support, understanding, and most of all hope.
May no one ever lose sight of how pure your intentions always are and of how much you care for all on here. It does shine as brightly as you do.
Love,
Tina
Emailing the links about suboxone........
Susan, hugs to you for all that you have been through. I would hate to watch as a parent the pain you are in.
And I don't think that we have "talked," but my heart goes out to you.
Kerry
And I don't think that we have "talked," but my heart goes out to you.
Kerry
Susan, I just like you. So I'm glad you're here. But besides that, I think you add something intersting to all of us addicts. You help us to be less selfish, to remember what using does to our loved ones. While a non-addict may never know exactly what it feels like to be one, they know first hand how it effects them and they see objectively how we behave. Misty adds her own perspective to this as a wife of an addict. I think if this board were made up of non-addicts it would lose it's focus, but that's not the case. The two of you have become friends to everyone as well. If we go out in the world not everyone is going to know exactly what it feels like to be us, the world is made up of all kinds of people. I think it's kind of nice the way the two of you offer support and allow us to support you as well. Love, Kat
Dear Tina, Kerry, and Kat,
Thank you so much for the kind words. May God bless you for how much you have helped me to understand my son and get through all of this one day at a time. I think that one reason we are so helpful to one another is that when we hear about the pain/frustrations we have from someone "detached" from the immediate situation, we can more clearly see the affects because we're not caught up in the emotions of it. It's very hard to put into words...but I tried my best! Not that we don't have emotions for the people on here. We surely do,
Well, I've got to run!
Love,
Sue :)
Thank you so much for the kind words. May God bless you for how much you have helped me to understand my son and get through all of this one day at a time. I think that one reason we are so helpful to one another is that when we hear about the pain/frustrations we have from someone "detached" from the immediate situation, we can more clearly see the affects because we're not caught up in the emotions of it. It's very hard to put into words...but I tried my best! Not that we don't have emotions for the people on here. We surely do,
Well, I've got to run!
Love,
Sue :)
If I may.
I would like to thank you dev for two things... while it is true you do not need to explain why you post here it is plain to see you do it to not only get support for your self and your son but also to get educated about addiction from those that know it best... those of us that are in it and going through it at different levels. That is a very intelligent and courageous thing to do because that picture can be bleek before it turns encouraging. The first thank you for your post is on behave of bob, (I hope he doesnt mind my posting this.... ) for he, as I am some like him, in that we both can be bad cop and your post was right on about we are varied on here and some play bad cops and some play good cops so to speak.. that works good for the most part.. one without the other is just not effective as you so eliquently pointed out.. all good cop enables.. all bad cop turns people aways.. so that has been my point at times all along.. ..though some might not agree yes might vehimently disagree actually with you that bobs motive are pure at heart and that he just wants to help people.. I will atest to this till I am blue.. he does just want to help and has no other incentive..... so thank you for your words to that....
Secondly... thanks for coming here as kat said and showing us a perspective of the family member while not being attacking and being judgemental of us... sometimes some come here and while seeking knowledge they turn and become defensive because of there own pain. This does great damage to some here who are having there own guilt issues. You have not once done that. You have kept the lines separate and that is not easy to do. You are a great mom and a wonderful person and I only wish I had a mom such as you and I wish to be a mom like to my daughter as you are obviously to you son.
God Bless you tina... and I pray for your family...
Teresa
I would like to thank you dev for two things... while it is true you do not need to explain why you post here it is plain to see you do it to not only get support for your self and your son but also to get educated about addiction from those that know it best... those of us that are in it and going through it at different levels. That is a very intelligent and courageous thing to do because that picture can be bleek before it turns encouraging. The first thank you for your post is on behave of bob, (I hope he doesnt mind my posting this.... ) for he, as I am some like him, in that we both can be bad cop and your post was right on about we are varied on here and some play bad cops and some play good cops so to speak.. that works good for the most part.. one without the other is just not effective as you so eliquently pointed out.. all good cop enables.. all bad cop turns people aways.. so that has been my point at times all along.. ..though some might not agree yes might vehimently disagree actually with you that bobs motive are pure at heart and that he just wants to help people.. I will atest to this till I am blue.. he does just want to help and has no other incentive..... so thank you for your words to that....
Secondly... thanks for coming here as kat said and showing us a perspective of the family member while not being attacking and being judgemental of us... sometimes some come here and while seeking knowledge they turn and become defensive because of there own pain. This does great damage to some here who are having there own guilt issues. You have not once done that. You have kept the lines separate and that is not easy to do. You are a great mom and a wonderful person and I only wish I had a mom such as you and I wish to be a mom like to my daughter as you are obviously to you son.
God Bless you tina... and I pray for your family...
Teresa
Dear Teresa,
Bless your heart! That was such a sweet post. I hope you don't mind that I copied it to save for one of my bad days to get it out and read. I don't always succeed as a mom because sometimes I'm too soft, but I never give up trying to be a good mom and everything I do for my kids, right or wrong, is done out of love. Thanks again for your kindness!
Love,
Susan
Bless your heart! That was such a sweet post. I hope you don't mind that I copied it to save for one of my bad days to get it out and read. I don't always succeed as a mom because sometimes I'm too soft, but I never give up trying to be a good mom and everything I do for my kids, right or wrong, is done out of love. Thanks again for your kindness!
Love,
Susan
dev..
of course i dont mind if you copied it.. i am honored... and I truely meant every word.. Your son has a rocky road ahead of him and you do as well .. conserve your strength and keep your expectations in check... ( that always gets me into trouble...lol...) Best wishes..
Teresa
of course i dont mind if you copied it.. i am honored... and I truely meant every word.. Your son has a rocky road ahead of him and you do as well .. conserve your strength and keep your expectations in check... ( that always gets me into trouble...lol...) Best wishes..
Teresa
Hi Susan, how are you doing today?
What you dont ask about me danny?
Teresa
Teresa
Hey Ter- I'm going to call you Ter-Bear because of your Avitar. How are you this morning. Sucks here..too much snow..I'm going out to shovel though..I hate winter...
