this choice is easy a life without drugs or no life at all with drugs. So why is implementing the chioce so bloody hard for me when i want it so hard is it just me or does everyone find this. God knows that it won't be easy and i wasn't expecting it to be but i was hoping that at some point when i am at my lowest that my motivation would kick in and start pulling me out from this darkness and gloom of an existance not a life.
I have just returned from hospital after having my gall bladder removed i was two days clean only on my meth of 100mls and felt good until i was nearly home and i started to sweat and get anxious and before i knew iti found it within myself to score as soon as i got into my town even though i am a diabolical ammount of abdominal pain. Is there anything i could do to work on my resolve or motivation so i will be better equiped to try again and i am sick of the constant battle of trying and failing it's worse than the smack itself as then you know what you get.each discion is getting harder instead of easier and to be honest i am getting sick of hearing myself saying that i as giong to get clean i just want it to stop now and let me get off and start living again!!!
Moc....theres no magic wand...your on the only magic wand available; methadone...its either that or subs, and Ive said, maybe you should try that instead of the meth...either way though...its all about YOU, and YOUR desire to stop...you need a support group; get a sponsor, someone you can call when you want to go score, someone who will talk you out of it...you have to go to a meeting to get a sponsor...so, you need to start somewhere...sitting there whining about it and doing the same things over and over are NOT going to get you anywhere...hugs
Con
Con
Moc....firstly good words of wisdom from our Con,but Moc ya should be covered by the juice physically anyhow,its the lifestyle ya gotta change....dump yer dealer i know its hard coz yer thinking what if i get clean but want a smoke now and again,and ya dont have a connect,as i said ya gotta get out of the druglife,severe all links with smack,Moc to be honest you are in a good situ.to give it up...ya got yer juice,so no or hardly any withdrawls....its yer mindset ya gotta change.....this will not happen over night....but if ya got enuff willpower you will get there in time,also how commited is yer fella regarding getting clean?you both have to lay yer cards on the table,honesty being the best policy.My daughters mum continued to use when i was trying my hardest to get some clean time in,the result was i kicked her out and took my daughter away from Dublin which is smack central,and moved to a quiter town....best thing i ever did....smack is everywere even where i live there are 7/8 dealers that i know of....and the population were i live is no more than 20,000....its cheap and decent qaulity...so theres many addicts were i live...im rambling now.Moc bottom line is ya can do it for yerself and yer nippers,be under no illusion that its gonna be easy but ya got yer whole life ahead and a future without gear is really possible,the folks who love ya will see a change,but as i said ya gotta cut all ties connected with smack,start with that and you will be able to get some clean time.Take care Moc......thinking of you and yer fella....fight it!!!.....Davey
Can't say much more than what has already been said, f***, i tried and tried, but kept on failing. It is hard mate, i know, but it is possible. I personally think that leaving old 'mates' behind is a important thing to do. They might not mean it, but they will get you back using. Dealer 'mates' also, get them to f***.
With the help of Naltrexone, friends and family i've been clean for just over a year now. I never thought i'd do this, but it is possible. Keep fighting the good fight mate, you will get there, Kev
With the help of Naltrexone, friends and family i've been clean for just over a year now. I never thought i'd do this, but it is possible. Keep fighting the good fight mate, you will get there, Kev
Con, Davey & Dee are all right, You have to sever all ties with the drug life. You need to ruthless about it. Go to meetings, network with people that no longer use. This is your life dude. Ask yourself how many of your former buds would show up at your funeral or visit you in prison. Ya got to start taking care of #1.
Good luck,
and keep at it.
Good luck,
and keep at it.
Moc pal i can't give better advice than whats already been said, i think you need to really sit down and evaluate your life -ie , am i going to be able to quit staying in my present surroundings , does my boyfriend want to really get clean or is it just the dream every user has, are you really ready to get clean as i know deep down i always said this will be the last ,just one more,oh ok i'll ween myself off if this is the way your brain is thinking i fear the time aint right, you have to want it more than anything youve ever wanted and you have to be prepared to give up anything thats going to stand in your way and i mean everything because what you have to be saying to yourself is 'it's my life i'm fighting for here , i think most of us had to hit rock bottom before we started really reaching out for help and started clawing for the ladder of real life , i might have made this sound a bit mellow dramatic but i believe thats how serious it is , honestly pal ask yourself will i succeed in this enviroment with these people round me and if theres the slightest doubt it's maybe time to pack your bags clear the floor step out through that open door leave a note that says goodbye ,the ones who mean anything to you will meet you again someday when the times right , thats been my experience anyway , take out of this what you need pal hope you achieve your goals just remember it's your life your fighting for ...PEACE OUT !!!! paul
Hi moc hows trix pal have'nt heard from you for a bit hope things are going with you get in touch..PEACE OUT!!!!!!
hi there soz it's been a while but just had an op and i'm getting better now thank f***. It's been quite a few days have cut that dealer off for good I have paid the full 500.00 that me and my partner had ticked now we owe no money for the first time in years. To behonest i am really proud of that how sad! This is day two of sticking to the meth had no pysical withdrawls but had plenty of mental ones if you know what I mean. My partner has done the same we are determined as we done three days last week and it wasn't that bad so we know we can do it. we need to do it theres so much out there you just have to want it bad enough and believe me we do.
hope evryone is ok
speak to you soon
stay clean
moc
hope evryone is ok
speak to you soon
stay clean
moc
Alrite Moc......nice one yeve started to sheds the gladrags of smack addiction.....paying ya bail with ya dealer and getting those three days last week.....you got it all ahead but yeve given yerself a decent toehold in staying clean,string those days together and youll get a week and so on,Moc yer doin all the right things,continue and fight that poison.......thinking of you two........Davey
Proud of you mate, Keep posting......
Stay Strong Moc; you can do it !
Con
Con
You stay strong too, Con...you know what I'm talking about...I've been snooping again =)
Well in moc bet you feel good inside and it's hopefully only gonna get better , can't hang about today got little summer with me and she want's to go to the park but hey the weathers getting good we're all waking up after smelling the coffee time to reap the benefits and get out there and breath in the fresh air and greet the world with a smile ,god i actually love this straight life , pats on the back for yi moc PEACE OUT !!!!paul
have just started acouple of courses if u live in the uk check out this site .... set up for ex users and users www.westsussexdaat.co.uk also www.stepstowork.org even though the titlesays west sussex it runs all over the uk....
keep smiling
sj
keep smiling
sj
