I'm a 69 year old mother of three sons. My youngest son is 42 years old and a very serious meth addict using it IV method. seven months after my husband of 47 years passed, our family found out that my son is a meth addict. I began to encourage him to get help thru NA or rehab. Of course he refused. In February 2013 he began using IV method. He made a huge and rapid spiral down. We have a small business of which he has worked for the last 20 years. He was a very integral part of management and was very successful with his department. After a few months of counseling and learning that I was co-dependent and my actions enabling his addiction, I was finally able to terminate him from our company. That broke my heart. He was living on my farm when this all came to light, but when he began the IV use, he became a different person. He became very verbally abusive, especially when he was coming down. I made him move. As his condition worsened I began to realize he is going to die. I allowed him to move back to my farm in the mobile home on the property after I saw him in a very bad state of being high. It was a huge mistake. As his use became much worse, he began to be very paranoid. I became afraid of him, knowing that he would never hurt me if his mind is good, but now his mind was not good. I was called away for a family funeral and told him I would be home in 4 days and that I wanted him to be gone. He became very unruly making threats against my property and others while very high. His two older brothers took matters into their own hands, being very angry for all he has put us through, things getting out of control and he was beaten. Again my heart was broken. He is now staying in a campground in his rv. Today he asked me to pay some bills for him. I told him I would not. He would only use whatever money he has to buy more drugs. I told him I would not and could not be a part of his addiction any longer. I have to take care of myself. I cannot help him. Only he can help himself. I'm having trouble with depression myself, seeing a doctor, and have started on medication. I feel like Nar Anon meetings would help me, but cant find one listed for our area, only Al-anon. Would that be good for my circumstances? Am I doing the right things by not helping him. I feel like I am. The last time he was in jail I did not get him out. He has managed to elude the law and jail until this past July. Now he has two felony charges against him, one in AR and one in TX. I'm not hiring legal representation for him. I feel court appointed is good enough. The court dates have been put off until spring. I pray I'm doing the right thing for him. I pray for him every day, praying that God will help him to see that he and God are the only one who can cure him. I also pray for myself every day asking God to keep me sane and strong. And I ask God to keep my son safe until he becomes sober and well. I pray for his daughters and I pray that our families can heal. Thank you for listening to me. Just writing this letter has helped me.
Your story is very much like too many others. Your courage and wisdom is incredibly inspirational. Try al anon. Addiction is addiction. The same process applies. Stay stong.
It's certainly a difficult path for both of you, mother and son.
You must be strong. Being strong means exactly what you are beginning to look into; gathering people who know, gathering information, gathering peace around yourself.
My daughter is struggling with a meth addiction. She wanted out but then got right back in. I've had to let her go. I will support her through recovery but not dealing, not using, not running out of control. I do not know this person that she has become, and that's so sad but it's also her choice.
I am a single parent and know first hand the difficulties of raising kids, and the roller coaster ride that drug use can bring.
Like you I am deciding to continue with my life. To get out and breathe.
Be strong.
Know that you have the strength.
Stewart
You must be strong. Being strong means exactly what you are beginning to look into; gathering people who know, gathering information, gathering peace around yourself.
My daughter is struggling with a meth addiction. She wanted out but then got right back in. I've had to let her go. I will support her through recovery but not dealing, not using, not running out of control. I do not know this person that she has become, and that's so sad but it's also her choice.
I am a single parent and know first hand the difficulties of raising kids, and the roller coaster ride that drug use can bring.
Like you I am deciding to continue with my life. To get out and breathe.
Be strong.
Know that you have the strength.
Stewart
Dear Mom, Don't be so hard on yourself,you are doing yourself and your son better by dealing with his situation with your head now instead of your heart....if you give him money he will only use it to inject meth into his arms...addicts are so wonderful at story telling...he's trying to weaken you through your heart...You have to stop supporting him...he's a 42 year old man....He needs to admit he has a problem and then take the necessary measures to correct his addiction...if you enable him you will only go down with him....sometimes the hardest thing to do is to say no and allow the life to play itself out on them...but if you keep butting in and bailing him out he will never want to change...after all why would he if Mommy will make it all better....You have to be strong and if that is the only meeting attend it....true one is alcohol and other narcotics but they both consist of substance abuse....You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves.....he's an adult and so are you..you have to cut the cord....eventually he will make a choice live or die......it's up to him...in the meantime look out for yourself.
You can could certainly go to Al-Anon. You will find help there. It is suggested to try at least 6 meetings before you decide if it is for you.
