It"s been a long 16 years of being a mother of a meth addict. I have seen it all and relate to a lot of your stories and feel your pain. My son is currently doing time in prison for stealing guns from his grandfather for drug money. His grandfather unexpectedly passed away this January while my son was in prison and I am having the hardest time living with the guilt of my son stealing from him and never making it right before he died. You would think it was me that stole.
After the passing of his grandfather his grandmother wanted to spend money to hire a lawyer and get him in to a drug rehab program (at my sons request.) It is a 2 year program that teaches sober living while provides a job. I was very hesitant over the idea because I figured he was just trying to get out of doing jail time because we have heard this in the past. I finally agreed, on the condition it was only to get him help and not to just get him out of doing his jail time. Since that time the court approved for him to serve 18 months jail plus the 2 year rehab. Well sure enough the ungrateful child of mine was so upset that he just wants to do jail time because he thought he would get out right then. Will he ever change?
The icing on the cake was on mothers day he called, told me happy mothers day and he loves me and then ask his dad to send his girlfriend flowers might as well of kicked me in the stomach.
I have heard so many promises that he was going to change. How do you ever learn to live with the chance the he probably never will. I would give anything to just find peace for myself. It is beginning to affect my life worse than ever. I have been going through depression and was on the verge of suicide because I just can't get over my son never recovering. Will the pain ever stop enough to be able to live a normal life.
I have looked in to NA and AA meetings but I live in a very small community and most of them are closed classes for addicts only. Does anyone have any other ideas? I have been to the doctor and I am on anti depressants but I still can't get a grip. Why can a lot of people deal with it and I can't?
Have you tried to go to Naranon meetings? Or maybe talk to other Mother's? I found that I surround myself with people that don't judge helps & people that have been where I am. It is a horrible disease. It takes families and rips them apart if we let it. I set boundaries with my daughter. Not just for her, I did it for myself & my other children. I let her know that she cannot come to my house if she wants to do drugs. I also let her know that I love her & that it is the disease I hate. I will pray for you and your Son.
