I have been with my husband for 7yrs. He is addicted to alcohol and coke. it started about five years ago , maybe once or twice every couple of months he would go on a bender, in the last year it has progressed to 3 or 4 times a week. The lies, excuses and means he will go to to get it have become ridiculous and frightening. He admits he has a problem, but doesnt ever do anything about it. At this point I'm not sure what is sincere and what is said to get me to shut up. I know I cant help unless he is ready. At this point, I feel like I am co-enabling, making it easier by covering for him all the time. I Love the man, but cant take the life style anymore. Addicts are such great and creative liers, I cant tell if its a cry for help or just an excuse to justify his addiction. I would really appreciate some advice
Jen-
You are right- we addicts are terriffic liars. I think that you really need to talk to him. Of course you are gonna cover for him- he is your husband- but try to get him to open up to you about why he does this to himself.Suggest that the two of you do things together at times you know he will try and get high- it is way corny sounding- but the best high is the high that you get from loving someone- not drugs. Tell him that. He may laugh but then again, you are the one thinking sober, right? Stay strong and keep in touch. You're in my thoughts today. :)
You are right- we addicts are terriffic liars. I think that you really need to talk to him. Of course you are gonna cover for him- he is your husband- but try to get him to open up to you about why he does this to himself.Suggest that the two of you do things together at times you know he will try and get high- it is way corny sounding- but the best high is the high that you get from loving someone- not drugs. Tell him that. He may laugh but then again, you are the one thinking sober, right? Stay strong and keep in touch. You're in my thoughts today. :)
Thanks for writing me, I will talk to him again. I'm not one to give up, and corny things are not all that bad
Jen
Please read the book "Co-dependent No More". It will explain to you how you enable people and how not to. You need some relief yourself and this book will help. God blesses people who help themselves.
Please read the book "Co-dependent No More". It will explain to you how you enable people and how not to. You need some relief yourself and this book will help. God blesses people who help themselves.
Jen tell him that if he keeps it up he will die, print out a few of the message threads from others on this forum, not of your own talks, and don't show him the site you are printing from, and leave somewhere for him to see, if he asks tell him that those are just a few of the things that can happen and that those are real people's stories, tell him that from your research most eventually have heart problems and either die or then get sober, ask if that is where he is looking to take it....just suggestions...
Jen I feel for you I've been married for 7 years and have two boys that adore there father. We have lost everything and i'm afraid because i loved him i let everything go. Now after 6 years he desided he will get help as i was walking out the the door. I have been told a gazillion lies and i don't know if i can ever trust him or if i even want to. be true to your self or you will end up bitter and angry.