Ok so Ive posted my story on here before. My ex husband is an opiate (painkiller) addict. We are in the midst of a divorce and he is still trying to get me to reconsider. When I discovered his addiction during our marriage, I forced him to go see a pain management dr to try to manage the alleged pain he was having. The pain management dr gave him lidocaine injections on a few occasions in his office. So fast forward, many things have happened since then and I couldnt handle his addiction anymore. One day while searching in the garage I find a similar container with a package of hipodermic needles and a bottle of liquid lidocaine. He says he received it from the dr. I call the dr because Im suspicious and the office tells me that the dr does not prescribe lidocaine injections for patients to self administer outside the office...oh my dear God. .. he stole that stuff from the drs office. Very disturbing. Any thoughts??
I've read a number of your posts, and I feel your frustration. You start to wonder is it the character of the person or is it a disease? Either way, there is usually no good ending. I am a devoted father of eighteen year old daughter, and I just paid thousands of dollars for her to go to a great treatment program in Arizona. She has done wonderfully for the past ninety days... until last night. She relapsed on heroin. Her drug of choice had always been benzos, not the opiates. She had never used opiates before. She was asked to leave her sober living house, and she'll be on a bender for the next who knows how long? This is my daughter, so I will not leave her, though I will let her hit bottom. On heroin, her bottom could be death, most likely jail. It tears my heart to pieces, but I am growing hard hearted as this terrible addiction plays out.
Would I go through a lifelong battle with addiction for a wife or girlfriend? No way. Addicts can talk a great game. They can make you think they are contrite and they'll change forever, but be ready for what just happened to my daughter. They'll almost always go back and chase the high. They are hardwired to use, and their minds will nag and taunt them until they do use again. They are in perpetual mourning over the absence of their drug of choice. This may sound cynical, but why waste the rest of your life on this guy when you can find a non-user who does not put you through ups and downs and wild turns in the road. You sound like you loathe liars. Addicts get off on lying. Heck, they believe their own lies--that's what's so dangerous.
I wish you good luck, but I don't think you'll find anyone here telling you to stay with this guy until he has months of recovery under his belt, and he can prove it. I know there are success stories with people who have gotten off opiates, but they are rare indeed. You have to weigh out the odds of your husband changing. He has already shown a propensity to lie and steal for his drug. I would trust him as far I could throw him until I saw some major track record.
Would I go through a lifelong battle with addiction for a wife or girlfriend? No way. Addicts can talk a great game. They can make you think they are contrite and they'll change forever, but be ready for what just happened to my daughter. They'll almost always go back and chase the high. They are hardwired to use, and their minds will nag and taunt them until they do use again. They are in perpetual mourning over the absence of their drug of choice. This may sound cynical, but why waste the rest of your life on this guy when you can find a non-user who does not put you through ups and downs and wild turns in the road. You sound like you loathe liars. Addicts get off on lying. Heck, they believe their own lies--that's what's so dangerous.
I wish you good luck, but I don't think you'll find anyone here telling you to stay with this guy until he has months of recovery under his belt, and he can prove it. I know there are success stories with people who have gotten off opiates, but they are rare indeed. You have to weigh out the odds of your husband changing. He has already shown a propensity to lie and steal for his drug. I would trust him as far I could throw him until I saw some major track record.
When it came to important relationships my Dad used to say...If you don't have trust you don't have anything.
Before considering getting back w/your husband please realize that you'll always be haunted by the possibility of him relapsing as whether he's telling you the whole truth about things.
Is that what you want?
Before considering getting back w/your husband please realize that you'll always be haunted by the possibility of him relapsing as whether he's telling you the whole truth about things.
Is that what you want?
Hi Strong,
I second all the posts.
Your post gave me a flash back! I remember in high school, for fun, I would occasionally steal a cigarette from my Mom's purse. I felt so guilty! But, then I started smoking cigarettes regularly (QUIT a long time ago, thank god). But, the point is...I started stealing more of the cigarettes...and even when I knew I was stealing too many (and she would surely find out), I could not stop. I still remember that horrible feeling of needing the cigarette so bad that I stole from her. I eventually would steal a couple dollars to buy my own packs. I started getting addicted to the ritual process of stealing from her purse, listening to her footsteps, the sound of the door, the pounding of my heart as I stole them. I started justifying that I HAD to steal because I was young and no money of my own. Trying to run from that horrible truth that I was stealing from my mom...I quit when I was 20. Partly because of my breathing, but mostly because of the process I was just describing-it had me in its grip.
I say all that because it does not surprise me at that he stole this. He is deep in the sickness. Addiction takes over their lives and they are addicted to the rituals as much as the drugs.
Like the others have said, I really could not live with a spouse with this problem. It will just keep dragging you under. Big hugs.
I second all the posts.
Your post gave me a flash back! I remember in high school, for fun, I would occasionally steal a cigarette from my Mom's purse. I felt so guilty! But, then I started smoking cigarettes regularly (QUIT a long time ago, thank god). But, the point is...I started stealing more of the cigarettes...and even when I knew I was stealing too many (and she would surely find out), I could not stop. I still remember that horrible feeling of needing the cigarette so bad that I stole from her. I eventually would steal a couple dollars to buy my own packs. I started getting addicted to the ritual process of stealing from her purse, listening to her footsteps, the sound of the door, the pounding of my heart as I stole them. I started justifying that I HAD to steal because I was young and no money of my own. Trying to run from that horrible truth that I was stealing from my mom...I quit when I was 20. Partly because of my breathing, but mostly because of the process I was just describing-it had me in its grip.
I say all that because it does not surprise me at that he stole this. He is deep in the sickness. Addiction takes over their lives and they are addicted to the rituals as much as the drugs.
Like the others have said, I really could not live with a spouse with this problem. It will just keep dragging you under. Big hugs.
Thank you for all of the unbiased opinions and posts. Thank you for affirming my feelings and confirming that Im on the right path. :)
