I was just wondering how long it took you guys to get from active alcoholism to sustained abstinance?
I'm at least 3 years into my wanting to get myself well. My illness has held me back but I'm really determined to get sober and stay sober. I'm doing the rounds and making a huge effort to overcome my Borderline Personality Disorder and in doing so I KNOW I am gonna beat this disease that's taken hold over my life. The one thing that I'm holding onto is the fact that it's taken me almost 10 years to get where I am today and it's not going to be an overnight change.
I shall tell you about my drinking. I used to drink almost a whole litre bottle of Bacardi in one go, then I switched to wine, two bottles a night plus gin and beers on top of that. I cut it down to one bottle with the help of my alcohol counsellor and it's been decreasing gradually ever since then. Today I drink two or three glasses at the most when I do drink. I feel that is an achievement, it's made a huge difference to me and my mental health, also my physical health.
Today I feel positive. I feel like life is worth living again. I go through these periods of being fine and then I get depressed again, it's like a cycle and I'm aware of it.
I also want to congratulate all of you who abstain daily. You are my inspiration and I know I'll get to be like you one day soon!
Izzy
Hi Izzy you have already achieved quite the accomplishment by decreasing your intake of alcohol as you have. I was the opposite , the further into my drinking the more I drank. It seemed as if I could never get enough. I can understand the way you feel when you say you want to get sober and stay sober. I was years wanting it but never getting up the courage to actually do it. many years ago I contacted AA and then believe it or not actually hated myself for doing so because I felt like I had betrayed myself if that makes any sense to you. Then at another time I made contact with an AA member and got the big book only to toss the book in the garbage. It was like I felt shame or something and even though I knew I had a problem I would not admit it to myself. I was beating myself up emotionally saying to myself why why did you make the call you stupid fool. LOl insanity yes , And again yet another time I made contact with AA ,all the same emotions and not being willing to admit defeat or that I needed the help. It was years after this that I had come to the point which is recently to go and get the help that I needed and yes deserve. my wish is that I had done it the very first time I contacted AA . I would have lived a lot better life and I wouldn't have so many regrets. I have also learned in my recovery that I did not admit defeat by becoming involved in AA actually it's the opposite I am defeating the demon that controlled me practically all my life. I am finally becoming free. I wish you the freedom Izzy that I am just becoming to experience. The freedom to be you ,the REAL beautiful you. Don't let alcohol take your life because as long as you drink it owns you and robs you and destroys you. BE FREE and LIVE. wishing you all the best in your recovery and I have faith in you that you will win this battle you are fighting. ((((( )))))
Gidday Izzy
My addiction is like a car with the keys in the ignition get in turn the key on and vroom, active drinking is one decision away for the rest of my life and abstinence is due to the options that recovery and things i learned in AA have given me.
I knew from 18 that i had a problem, but hey it felt good and thats all that mattered, at 32 the feel good was gonna kill me, no more chances death was the next step so the attention seeker in me saved my life because yeah you have a lot of attention at a funeral but F all after that.
keep looking at yourself positively and accentuate that, life always has ups and downs and by practising recovery you are surfing the waves instead of them crashing on you, as it has been said there is no dues or fees for AA membership only a desire to stop drinking so accentuate that desire that you have:)
light and love Zac
My addiction is like a car with the keys in the ignition get in turn the key on and vroom, active drinking is one decision away for the rest of my life and abstinence is due to the options that recovery and things i learned in AA have given me.
I knew from 18 that i had a problem, but hey it felt good and thats all that mattered, at 32 the feel good was gonna kill me, no more chances death was the next step so the attention seeker in me saved my life because yeah you have a lot of attention at a funeral but F all after that.
keep looking at yourself positively and accentuate that, life always has ups and downs and by practising recovery you are surfing the waves instead of them crashing on you, as it has been said there is no dues or fees for AA membership only a desire to stop drinking so accentuate that desire that you have:)
light and love Zac
Izzy
I know you won't believe this because I sure didn't when I was still trying to control my drinking but I am much happier without booze than I ever was with it. I learned to change my thinking and my actions and I don't feel the need to change myself with any substance any more. I have a peace and serenity that I always looked for in some form of buzz. I went to AA for almost 5 years before I finally gave up and tried it their way. By their way I mean no drinking once a year (which I did for a few LOL) and no pills and no coke. Total absinence is the greatest gift I ever gave myself. And yes, it was very hard in the beginning but I told myself just for today I will not drink and one day at a time it turned into a year and then two and so on. You can do it too.
I know you won't believe this because I sure didn't when I was still trying to control my drinking but I am much happier without booze than I ever was with it. I learned to change my thinking and my actions and I don't feel the need to change myself with any substance any more. I have a peace and serenity that I always looked for in some form of buzz. I went to AA for almost 5 years before I finally gave up and tried it their way. By their way I mean no drinking once a year (which I did for a few LOL) and no pills and no coke. Total absinence is the greatest gift I ever gave myself. And yes, it was very hard in the beginning but I told myself just for today I will not drink and one day at a time it turned into a year and then two and so on. You can do it too.
Thanks for all your help, you know something, I'm always really happy within myself when I don't drink. Being sober is a fantastic feeling and I know what it feels like and I want it all the time.
I still go back to the drink though. I haven't figured out why yet, maybe I have and just don't realise it... I've got so much to work on, it's going to take me a while to get my head around things.
Meanwhile... I'm sober at the moment. Just taking it one day at a time... making no promises to myself as the minute I put pressure on myself to do something I do the total opposite! Lol.
Thanks again,
Izzy
I still go back to the drink though. I haven't figured out why yet, maybe I have and just don't realise it... I've got so much to work on, it's going to take me a while to get my head around things.
Meanwhile... I'm sober at the moment. Just taking it one day at a time... making no promises to myself as the minute I put pressure on myself to do something I do the total opposite! Lol.
Thanks again,
Izzy
Hi Izzy,
I can't say exactly when I started trying to quit or "cut back" but I suppose it would have been at least 3 maybe four years. But like you I would always go back to the drink, and wonder why.
I'm still not sure why I drank the way I did, however I do know why I don't drink now. For me, knowing and understanding/accepting that my drinking was out of control and my life was headed for disaster was/is why I don't drink.
This knowledge/acceptance came on quite abrutly. I'm truly thankful that it happened. It wasn't something that happened because of any concious rational decision or choice that I made.
Perhaps there are other ways of stopping other than recieving this "moment of clarity" but I don't think so. If I had a way to help you with this, I would; but it seems as though we all need to stumble along until we have our "clarity" moment.
I wish you well and hope you find your reason to not drink. In the mean time, take it
one day at a time, Cookster
| QUOTE |
| I still go back to the drink though. I haven't figured out why yet |
I can't say exactly when I started trying to quit or "cut back" but I suppose it would have been at least 3 maybe four years. But like you I would always go back to the drink, and wonder why.
I'm still not sure why I drank the way I did, however I do know why I don't drink now. For me, knowing and understanding/accepting that my drinking was out of control and my life was headed for disaster was/is why I don't drink.
This knowledge/acceptance came on quite abrutly. I'm truly thankful that it happened. It wasn't something that happened because of any concious rational decision or choice that I made.
Perhaps there are other ways of stopping other than recieving this "moment of clarity" but I don't think so. If I had a way to help you with this, I would; but it seems as though we all need to stumble along until we have our "clarity" moment.
I wish you well and hope you find your reason to not drink. In the mean time, take it
one day at a time, Cookster
Hummmm...good question Izzy. I guess I never really thought about it before. I would say a good 5 years. I always drank but drugs were my DOC. Once I got clean off of speed in 2000 I immediately hit the bottle and hit it hard. I spent 5 years in denial thinking I was fine because I quit drugs. How ridiculous that thinking was. Got sober 9/6/05 and haven't had a sip since.
Hope you are having a great day Izzy.
Hope you are having a great day Izzy.
Started trying to get sober when I was 23 years old and finally did when I was 44 years old...my sobriety date is 11/22/2003.
