Hey Cookster!
I wrote to you on the pain pill category entitled 'Cookster, where you at'? Check it out! I've been wondering about you, congratulations on 3 (almost 4) months! I'm so proud of you! Read my thread on the pain pill category and hopefully we'll chat soon. Yeah, my situation is basically still the same, but I'm starting to get to the end of my rope. I'm getting sick of the merry go round. The thread I posted to you is pretty silly as I was in a strange kind of playful mood. I'd like to talk to you a little more serious soon - kind words, advice and encouragement would be appreciated - just the mood I was in earlier was a little wacky. I look forward to talking to you again, soon!
Hey lola, don't worry about being wacky with me, I work in a junior high school, age 13-15! I posted to you on the pain pills board...
stay in touch... Cookster
stay in touch... Cookster
Cookster, what'cha up to?
It's 4:00 am and I can't sleep. I have to work today, but thankfully I have Saturday off. I think I've decided to go on the suboxone. I'm scared, though, and I'm not really sure why??? Maybe the hell you know is better than the hell you don't. Not that it should be hell, but this sure is. I didn't even realize I was scared about it, unitl I just told you. It could change my life completely. It'll fill up all those bitchy, little opiod receptors clamoring for more opiates. I'll have to do work myself too, of course, but simply being able to get of the frigging merry go round from hell, to do some work myself. I guess I'm scared cuz as uncomfortable as this is....it's comfortable, y'know what I mean? I'm not explaining myself too well. Suffice it to say: I've gone from wanting to want to quit, to actually wanting to quit. Wish me luck, I'll keep ya posted!
What about you, Cookster? Are you off for the summer? You teach Jr. High, right (no wonder you drank, kidding)? Is it beautiful where you live? I hear it is! Well, you're coming up on four months, right? That's amazing! How's it going? Neither one of us go to 12 steps, right? Wasn't that our first convo? Are you doing anything besides not drinking (not to imply that thats not a lot, cuz that's everything) just any support groups besides here, or family members or friends you can confide in? You can talk to me anytime, Cookster.
Hang in there!
It's 4:00 am and I can't sleep. I have to work today, but thankfully I have Saturday off. I think I've decided to go on the suboxone. I'm scared, though, and I'm not really sure why??? Maybe the hell you know is better than the hell you don't. Not that it should be hell, but this sure is. I didn't even realize I was scared about it, unitl I just told you. It could change my life completely. It'll fill up all those bitchy, little opiod receptors clamoring for more opiates. I'll have to do work myself too, of course, but simply being able to get of the frigging merry go round from hell, to do some work myself. I guess I'm scared cuz as uncomfortable as this is....it's comfortable, y'know what I mean? I'm not explaining myself too well. Suffice it to say: I've gone from wanting to want to quit, to actually wanting to quit. Wish me luck, I'll keep ya posted!
What about you, Cookster? Are you off for the summer? You teach Jr. High, right (no wonder you drank, kidding)? Is it beautiful where you live? I hear it is! Well, you're coming up on four months, right? That's amazing! How's it going? Neither one of us go to 12 steps, right? Wasn't that our first convo? Are you doing anything besides not drinking (not to imply that thats not a lot, cuz that's everything) just any support groups besides here, or family members or friends you can confide in? You can talk to me anytime, Cookster.
Hang in there!
Hi Lola, glad to hear that you are getting closer to stepping off the merry-go-round. I know exactly what you mean when you said that you found using to be comfortable even though it was uncomvortable. Making a major change like that is scary to contemplate... fear is normal. Once I broke through the wall and realized that I was actually on the road to being a non-drinker it was a happy time as well, happy and scary both.
I guess I'm getting close to four months now and I'm slowly starting to regain my old self back. It does take a while.... No, I haven't gone to any meetings, I have talked with my doctor and I worked with a D/A counselor for a bit. Other than that I stay active on this board. It seems to work. I don't have much in the way of cravings for alcohol anymore, but there is always those social situations where there is pressure to drink. Sometimes I feel the way a teenaged girl must feel trying to hang on to her virginity. Oh well I seem to be managing.
I have four days of classes left and then exams and the summer holidays! Yes I'm looking forward to it. I'm sure attendance will be down, we are experiencing a bit of flooding where I live and they are calling for volunteers to fill sandbags. Students seem to find sandbagging more interesting than school...
Its curious how some people will buy a house on flood plain and then be surprised when it floods... The areas of town that are flooding do flood every thirty to fifty years.... I guess they are like addicts, "I didn't think it would happen to me". Its funny how we all tend to think we are unique. We got more snow on the mountains than usuall this winter and now that its warm it is all melting and running into the river....
take care, cookster
I guess I'm getting close to four months now and I'm slowly starting to regain my old self back. It does take a while.... No, I haven't gone to any meetings, I have talked with my doctor and I worked with a D/A counselor for a bit. Other than that I stay active on this board. It seems to work. I don't have much in the way of cravings for alcohol anymore, but there is always those social situations where there is pressure to drink. Sometimes I feel the way a teenaged girl must feel trying to hang on to her virginity. Oh well I seem to be managing.
I have four days of classes left and then exams and the summer holidays! Yes I'm looking forward to it. I'm sure attendance will be down, we are experiencing a bit of flooding where I live and they are calling for volunteers to fill sandbags. Students seem to find sandbagging more interesting than school...
Its curious how some people will buy a house on flood plain and then be surprised when it floods... The areas of town that are flooding do flood every thirty to fifty years.... I guess they are like addicts, "I didn't think it would happen to me". Its funny how we all tend to think we are unique. We got more snow on the mountains than usuall this winter and now that its warm it is all melting and running into the river....
take care, cookster
Hey Cookster!
People are funny, "I knew the house was on a flood plain, I didn't think it would actually flood!" It's like me each prescription - this time I'm going to make it last, and I mean it!!!! A few days later....gone again. I'll write more later, someone is breathing down my neck1
People are funny, "I knew the house was on a flood plain, I didn't think it would actually flood!" It's like me each prescription - this time I'm going to make it last, and I mean it!!!! A few days later....gone again. I'll write more later, someone is breathing down my neck1
Anyway, Cookster,
As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted! Don't you hate when someone comes and just stands there while you're on the computer? How rude! A friend of mine says that over everything, I could say "a guy just came in and tried to kill me with an axe!!!" She'd say, "how rude", I don't know why, but it cracks me up! I have to work today for the person I refer to fondly as 'CRAZYGIRL' I never know how she'll be, I never know what will happen, I only know she'll be crazy. It's not boring, but I don't know how long I'll be able to take it, seriously. She's going to drive me to do drugs...wait, never mind.
I'm glad you're feeling better. I want the sense of my old self coming back too. I told a friend of mine that I can no longer read. I've read books, books, books, my whole life, always. Now I cannot concentrate to read a book, at all. I'm lucky to read a People Magazine - not that those don't contribute a lot to the world (what?) - but I can't finish a book. Oh, you know what I do now? I listen to audiobooks in the car. Cause I still want to read, but I can't. I thought maybe I'm depressed, that's why I can't read. Gee, maybe I' depressed because I'm ADDICTED TO PAIN PILLS???? Swift? Sometimes not so much.
Our kids are already out of school...maybe cause we don't have so many days off in the winter, duh.
I'll write more later, I want to tell you I found a Dr. re: suboxone and I'm getting kind of excited about that! Wish me luck today at work!
As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted! Don't you hate when someone comes and just stands there while you're on the computer? How rude! A friend of mine says that over everything, I could say "a guy just came in and tried to kill me with an axe!!!" She'd say, "how rude", I don't know why, but it cracks me up! I have to work today for the person I refer to fondly as 'CRAZYGIRL' I never know how she'll be, I never know what will happen, I only know she'll be crazy. It's not boring, but I don't know how long I'll be able to take it, seriously. She's going to drive me to do drugs...wait, never mind.
I'm glad you're feeling better. I want the sense of my old self coming back too. I told a friend of mine that I can no longer read. I've read books, books, books, my whole life, always. Now I cannot concentrate to read a book, at all. I'm lucky to read a People Magazine - not that those don't contribute a lot to the world (what?) - but I can't finish a book. Oh, you know what I do now? I listen to audiobooks in the car. Cause I still want to read, but I can't. I thought maybe I'm depressed, that's why I can't read. Gee, maybe I' depressed because I'm ADDICTED TO PAIN PILLS???? Swift? Sometimes not so much.
Our kids are already out of school...maybe cause we don't have so many days off in the winter, duh.
I'll write more later, I want to tell you I found a Dr. re: suboxone and I'm getting kind of excited about that! Wish me luck today at work!
Oh, and P.S. Cookster,
You said something about how it's like a teenage girl desperately trying to hold on to her viginity???? I was a teenage girl once so, good luck with that! I just hope maintaining sobriety isn't like that! Hopefully, you'll stay more pure than I did - and for longer (heehee).
You said something about how it's like a teenage girl desperately trying to hold on to her viginity???? I was a teenage girl once so, good luck with that! I just hope maintaining sobriety isn't like that! Hopefully, you'll stay more pure than I did - and for longer (heehee).
